Masters in Every Time
by starnormand
Summary: AU. When Peyton's flight is postponed due to a heavy rainstorm, she encounters a handsome stranger who she ends up sleeping with. After they agree on going their own ways and never see each other again, but life decides otherwise. LP with RN. COMPLETE!
1. Expresso Love

A/N: I haven't given up on my other story or anything but I was just walking around with this idea and decided to get it out. Hope you enjoy it and leave a review!

I don't own OTH or its characters.

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**Masters in Every Time 

**Summary:** AU. On the flight New York - North Carolina, the worlds of two strangers collide. When their plane is forced to make a stop, they end up sleeping together even though they're both in a relationship. They agree to go their own ways after but soon, they learn that they'll spend more than just one night together.

**Pairings:**

- Major LP

- sides of NH/RN later on. This storyline will begin in Chapter 6 and get more attention as it proceeds.

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**Masters in Every Time**

1. Expresso Love

Virginia Highlands airport was over flown with the wailing of toddlers and the complaining of parents while outside a roaring thunderstorm raged through sky. More fortunate people who didn't have their family to take care of bellowed to poor Mr. Thompson -the manager- and those who had given up wrecking their voices a while ago, just sat down with irritation plastered across their faces. Personally, Lucas was stuck here because of a visit to his uncle Keith, who had moved to New York about a year ago with his wife Jules.

In the middle of the busy crowd, one girl stood out to him. With her long, blonde ringlets, big emerald eyes and slender long figure, this beauty had caught his eye earlier on the plane. However, it wasn't really her enchanting appearance that drew him to her like a fly to syrup; it was the energy she radiated. The fact that the flight would probably be postponed a day didn't seem to bother her one bit; her thumb thoughtfully scrolled over the cursor of a white I-pod, her toned legs calmly crossed over one another.

As he observed her, something odd caught his eye: the seats left and right from her weren't taken although across the space, several people were still searching for a spot to plump themselves down. Lucas' legs began to move, stopping in front of the girl and then bowing to sit down. Merely a second after he had touched the seat a pair of fiery greens shot dead-sharp arrows at him and Lucas immediately understood why no one had dared to near her.

''Hi, I'm Lucas,'' he greeted unimpressed and offered his hand; the girl gazed at it as if it were poison ivy so he just lowered it again.

When the rock chick's attention was pointed back on her music, he saw the chance to take in her appearance once more and concluded that she might very well be the most stunning creature he had ever seen. The wonder of it was that she didn't seem to realize how gorgeous she was. On the other hand, she seemed unhappy, maybe even lonely. He softly bit his tongue; Brooke-his girlfriend- wouldn't be very happy if she'd know he was checking out other girls. Because he loved and respected her, he didn't do that to often though and if he did, it was more subtle. However -and this would make Brooke even angrier- this girl worked on him like a magnet. It was impossible to stay away.

''You're staring,'' she suddenly spoke. ''Don't.''

A blush appeared on his cheeks and he gazed in front of him again.

After a painful silence wherein a uncomfortable Lucas sat next to the beautiful but very defensive blonde, the manager marched between the benches and announced the flight to North Carolina would -as expected- be postponed a day. But, he added, everyone would be transferred to the nearest airport hotel by bus.

Airport hotels were quite luxurious and apparently, the girl knew that because an eager look suddenly glimmered in her eyes. Just like the rest of the passengers on the flight New York-North Carolina, Lucas stood up and followed the crowd -plus fire breathing, curly girl- outside.

x

The light-pink door of his room. That had been Lucas view the past half-hour. For some unknown but extremely annoying reason, his card didn't seem to work and since the manager had a lot of work -many people had to be checked in and led to their rooms- it would probably take another hour before he'd finally get in. So he just sat there in the hall, sighing and rolling his eyes until the thought that _maybe,_ a song could take his mind of off things popped up in his head. In his off-key voice, he began to sing Led Zeppelin's 'What Is and What Should Never Be'. It didn't take very long before the door next to him slowly opened and a head full of golden curls peered through.

''Hey,'' he greeted with a small smile.

"You're ruining the song."

Sure, she was gorgeous but damn...Those pretty lips spat venom to all who crossed her path.

"Well, you're ruining my fun."

Instead of pulling her head back inside, she stayed and gazed at him. Her greens quickly established that he was hot. Thick dirty-blonde hair, sky-blue eyes and a nicely built body...it could be worse.

"Why aren't you in your room?"

He slightly raised the metallic card. "Doesn't work. I've been waiting for half an hour to get in."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Do you..." she bit her lip "Neverm-"

"What?" he cut her off.

"OK, don't think I like you or something but if you want...you can wait here until they've found you a new key."

"Look at that..." he jokingly began "It can be nice."

It hadn't been a good idea to joke; the curly blonde closed her door with a big bang. Lucas stood up from the beige carpet and began knocking her door. There was a slight problem though: he didn't know her name.

"Girl!" he then called a bit silly. "Girl!"

Just when he was about to give up, the door opened again.

"Yes? What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm sorry, OK?" he said.

"And?"

"Can I come in?"

"Can I come in..._what_?"

In her eyes, he saw she was taking pleasure in this; making him beg. It should be irritating but he actually found it kind of cute with her.

"Please?"

While she pretended to be thinking about it, he waited until she finally fully opened the door. "OK."

x

Somewhere in the hotel, a chamber maid had been looking for a blonde boy called Lucas Scott to give him his key for over an hour. Less did she knew that he was talking with the curly girl in the room next to his. Strawberries and chocolate chip cookies were the centre of the big, white sheeted bed.

"So..." the blonde-who Lucas had figured out was called _Peyton- _tried to keep up with his family tree "You're dad left your mom in high school when she was pregnant because he knocked another girl up. With your half-brother."

After a few minutes of bantering and joking, the two had plumped themselves down on her bed to watch a film but it had turned out into a conversation.

"U-huh."

"And he was a jerk to you for practically all your life which made you a depressed outsider plus troubled 'I've-been-done-wrong'- eyes?"

When he gave her an insulted stare, she just laughed.

"Yes..." he then answered. It still amazed him that he had spilled his heart out to a stranger while Brooke had been pushing him to do exactly that for ages. However, he had always refused so how could this New Yorkian girl get all this out of him so easily? Her personality? Maybe, but she had her dark sides: she was very sarcastic, maybe even a bit cynic. She certainly was no future psychologist but somehow, she made him open up.

"And you guys hated each other until he married your best friend?"

"No..." he corrected "Our relationship began to ummm..._grow _when I entered the basketball team. It took a while but we're close now. He can still be an ass but you know, I'm looking forward to seeing him back."

"I guess that's what happens with those kind of guys...After a while, you begin to miss 'em."

"You read?" he immediately asked.

"O-oh, _busted_," she smiled and sugar-coated another strawberry. "What are you? Some kind of book freak?"

"I guess I am, but I'm not the one quoting J.D. Salinger."

"No..." she denied "I'm more into music and art; I don't ready very often. Sometimes." She shrugged. "'Catcher in the Rye' just happens to be my favorite. Teenage alienation, hypocrisy..."

"You understood? The psychology behind it?"

"Uh...I don't know..." She playfully placed her finger against her lip "But last time I checked, I still had a few brain cells."

His hand, which was reaching to the last chocolate chip cookie on the plate, pulled back and he bowed his head.

"What?" Peyton asked. "Did I say something wrong? You don't have any?"

"No..." he looked back up "It's just that...me and my girlfriend; we don't really connect on that level." When he noticed her surprised eyes, he quickly said: "I'm not saying I connect with y-"

"So what _do_ you do with your girlfriend? Just...Sex?"

His head turned red like a beet.

"Look, it's OK,'' she mentally backed away a bit ''your love life is none of my business. I'm not one to play the critic, trust me."

"Why?"

"Well..." her sigh betrayed her uncertainty "my boyfriend's a good guy and I love him and I know he loves me but he doesn't really make me feel happy, just..._safe._"

"Are you always this open?"

"_God_ no!" she sighed out; a chuckle followed. She had been accused of many things but never of being open. "The opposite, really."

"Me too."

They locked eyes and in the silence that followed you could hear a needle hit the ground.

"So..." Lucas began after a while "what about _your_ family?"

"Well," she answered in a sigh "I'm an only child and my father never spends time with me since he's always traveling the world."

"Isn't that hard?"

"Yeah...but I'm kind of a loner anyway."

"Your mother?"

Her curls followed the bowing of her head.

"Ummm...My mother died eight years ago."

"I'm so sorry," he immediately said. "I shouldn't h-"

"I didn't have to answer that if I didn't want to."

Unwarily, they both shuffled closer towards each other until their noses almost touched. Her beautiful eyes stared into his and she slightly bit her lip. Lucas heard the blood buzzing in his ears. What should he say? Was there anything to say? Maybe there was nothing to say; maybe he should just follow his instinct and kiss her. Off course he couldn't; he had Brooke. So he began to ramble, about the nervous feeling he gets before every basketball game, about the cake at his last birthday and his uncle Keith back in New York. After a while, the sound of his voice died again and there was just her. His heart beat in his throat.

"What would you do," he began in a voice, husky with lust "if I were to kiss you right now?"

"I'll know when it happens."

So he bowed over and cupped her face, very carefully, and kissed her soft pink lips, which opened under his. Then he pulled back.

"I'd say that I have a boyfriend, that we shouldn't do this and that you'd better leave," she answered his question.

"Send me away."

"Go," she ordered weakly. It wasn't very convincing.

His hand disappeared into her locks and pulled her lips against his; she didn't pull away and he deepened it while his hand stroked her side through the material of her shirt. The end of their kiss was inevitable; they had to come back up for air or die here in this beautiful hotel room. Lucas caught their breathing moment to shower the skin between her neck and the back of her ear with kisses.

"I can't do this," Peyton in the meanwhile tried to convince both of them but her words fell flat.

His kisses led back up to her lips and captured them over and over again with growing passion; they grew hot and tingled. He wanted to drink her. Breathe her. His body briefly left hers to take off his shirt. With burning eyes, Peyton let him take off hers too. The signs of arousal quickly grew more obvious and Lucas hand slid under her arched back to remove her red bra until two porcelain-colored hands cupped his face.

"I'm not a cheater."

"Trust me," Lucas replied 'This isn't something I normally do either." It was the truth: he had been with Brooke over half a year and he had never even kissed another girl. It confused him too.

"So why are you?"

His mouth slightly touched her full lips as he spoke. "You're special."

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are." When he was about to brush his lips against hers again, she turned her head away but he led it back to face him. "Kiss me,'' he ordered.

Peyton turned her head back and stared at him a bit surprised. His chest touched and left hers together with his breathing. Seconds passed and she began to wonder if he was just going to stay in that position until he got what he wanted. Then, she raised her head to softly capture his lips. After that quick kiss, the blondes couldn't be held back by a pack of wild horses. Their hands began to tug at each other's belts lustful; their mouths kissed every piece of bare skin they could find. However, even when she was completely naked, a flash of doubt reappeared in Peyton's eyes. His touch wiped it away; it was unlike anything she had ever felt and after all... did it matter? It was one night; she would never see him again.

x

With the white sheet wrapped around his body, Lucas lay at Peyton's waist, drawing invisible figures on her tummy. She was perfect. Everything about her. Her intelligence, her beauty and a bit more primitively her body and the feeling she gave his earlier. Amazing. Not that Brooke was bad, how could she be; she had been with many guys before him but he had never experienced this kind of pleasure with her. There was something else than sex there though, some kind of..._connection_. Whatever it was, he had never felt it before.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a smile. "Come and give me my sheet back."

Obeying, he loosened the fabric around him and by a trail of kisses, finally made its way to her face, which he brushed all over with soft kisses. Her lips were obviously privileged as his repeated touch lingered there and grew deeper.

"You're treating me way too loving for a one-night stand," she managed to say when he dropped a kiss on her collarbone.

"I want it to be more," he seriously said.

"What?" she asked with a shocked look in her hazels.

"I'm going to NYU after the summer s-"

"Listen," she began "I don't know what they did in those chocolate cookies but you're obviously high. You can't give up your life for one night of sex!"

"It wasn't just sex."

"I've just slept with a psycho!" she half-jokingly gasped out.

"Tell me it was just sex."

This left her speechless because she couldn't say that; just like him, she had felt something more than lust but obviously, _unlike_ him, she wasn't as impulsive. Plus, how could she give up her quite stable, two-year relationship with Jake for something this uncertain? Crazy. This boy was_ completely_ mad. She should be scared.

"It doesn't matter what it is but it's over after tonight. You might be willing to give up your girlfriend but I won't give up Jake. I'm sorry."

With an irritated look in his blues, he rolled to the spot next to her only to have her bow over him. Lucas felt like a child robbed from his favorite color Popsicle.

"Besides, my emotional baggage would just tear you down,'' she convinced him ''Now, we can go our on ways and remember this as... a beautiful memory."

He refused to look at her. So, she went to lay down onto his body and swore she saw him smile but he turned his head away. Persistently, she tried to face him yet he kept moving his head in impossible directions. It was playful now though, Peyton could see he wasn't angry or annoyed anymore; he was just teasing her.

"Lucas!" Her hands cupped his face and yanked it her way. "Please?"

"OK...If that's what you want," he gave in.

"It is."

Then, in a swift motion, Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist so he was on top of her again. Her chest jolted against his as she first squealed and then laughed.

"We've still got a few hours left," he whispered while burying his lips in her neck; his hands rubbing her body "To make the 'memory' even more _beautiful_."

"Right...we can talk some more about your father," she announced and crawled from under him to sit up straight against the headboard.

Completely bewildered, he gazed up at her. Was she serious? It would be cocky to say about himself that he was hot but still, he didn't look too bad and he was laying on top of her completely naked. Did she really want to talk about his messed up family right now?

"Look at your surprised little eyes," Peyton then said while slightly bowing over.

"Come here." He clutched his hands around her waist and pulled her back under him.

About three hours later, the two naked, tangled bodies received their wake-up call.

x

"So..." Peyton took a deep breath "have a nice rest of your life, I guess."

"You too," he answered a bit sadly. "And remember that you _are_ special. I've never fallen in love with anyone so quickly. I mean it, Peyton, and you know what I said."

Slowly, she bowed over and kissed his cheek. "You're very sweet."

They began to walk towards the exit but as they stood outside, they realized they were waiting at the same spot.

"Who are you waiting for?" Peyton questioned.

"My _girlfriend_. You?"

"My uncle, I told you I was staying with him."

Suddenly, a raspy voice approached them with two carton name cards.

"**Cousin! Boyfriend**!"

The voice in the form of a pretty brunette dressed in a Rock 'n Republic jeans and red Marc Jacobs top jumped in front of the two on her black Dior heels before grabbing Lucas and smashing her mouth into his. Peyton's jaw dropped to the floor; she couldn't believe this was happening. Why hadn't Brooke told her she'd be catching a plane with her boyfriend? And why hadn't Lucas mentioned his girlfriend's name? Off course they hadn't really talked about their partners, to avoid the guilt a bit but maybe they better had. This was awful.

''Cousin,'' she then began to introduce ''this is my boyfriend Lucas. Boyfriend, this is my cousin Peyton.''

With a big smile, she waited until the two greeted each other. However, they just stared at each other almost _shocked_.

'You two...'' Brooke slightly rolled her eyes ''too shy to shake hands.''

Together with her body, her chocolate hair swept along as she turned around and began walking to the car.

''Come on! We can't waist any time!'' she yelled when the blondes seemed to be nailed to the floor ''I've got so much planned for the coming weeks. Thursday beach bash, Tuesday to Rachel's cabin, the next w...''

Veiled in silence, guilt and discomfort, 'boyfriend' and 'cousin' followed Brooke with their suitcases rolling behind them; heading to what would sure be a painful holiday.

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	2. Hey! It's Romeo

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews, also for my other story. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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2. Hey! It's Romeo.

The psychedelic sixties-band 'Strawberry Alarm Clock' floated in her ears as she laid calmly on the soft-pink fabric. She hated pink yet she adored these with flowers embroidered sheets. Like she adored this room. It had been her mother's for twenty years.

Appearance-wise, Peyton was the spitting image of Anna. However, as her hazel eyes roamed the egg-shell walls graced with old Madonna posters, the faded pictures where her mother -still a careless teenager back then- smiled widely with Tree Hill's modest beach in the background and the somewhat cheesy, framed proverbs; the curly girl realized how different she really was from her mom inside.

Ironically, in her cousin Brooke, the sunny, bright personality of Anna shun through. She had always loved her for that; for somewhat keeping the memory of her mother alive. Hence the knowledge that she had betrayed her cousin in one of the worst possible ways - although unwarily- hurt the blonde. It wasn't only her betrayal towards Brooke that tore her up but also towards Jake, who had done nothing but been good to her over the years, that agonized her.

To battle the guilty feeling, she had avoided Lucas and with similar guilt in his blues, he had done the same with her. However, their neck muscles were beginning to ache from all the times they locked eyes only to immediately yank their heads the other way.

They had talked once, though; about a Travis album but had jumped away from each other at once when they heard the clicking of what seemed to be Brooke's heels. It quickly turned out to be an old, grey horse. Hoofs had almost given them a heart attack. That's how bad their conscience was.

Today was the infamous beach party; the object of Brooke's obsession for the past couple of days. Her outfit, which the brunette had described at least twenty times, would consist of a short, dark-blue denim skirt and a bright-yellow baby doll. Since it was a beach party, Peyton figured she'd be wearing simple flip-flops, but apparently, something like 'simple' flip-flops didn't exist; they came –just like the heels under them- in all shapes, sizes and colours. Under normal circumstances, the curly blonde would've rolled her eyes and commented on her vanity but now, she kept her mouth shut and nodded humbly.

"Come on, P. Sawyer! Action!" the brunette's excited voice suddenly echoed between the synthesizer tones.

"Huh?" she reacted when a tower of clothes suddenly veiled her feet. Brooke briefly disappeared in the bathroom –yes, every bedroom in the Davis' residence had its own bathroom- to put some special shampoos and conditioners for curls down.

"I've put some black in between but please don't show up looking like The Reaper. I don't want to scare my friends away. I'd suggest the little red dress. It's Marc Jacobs."

"Where are you going?" Peyton asked when the bouncy posture disappeared through the door again.

"Jewels!"

"Thanks!"

The dimpled girl hopped to her room and went to sit down in her dark-blue, velvet pillowed chair. Smiling at her stunning reflection in the mirror, she began to brush her shiny, brown hair with soft strokes.

"Hi, pretty girl," a deep voice out of the blue whispered in her ear.

"Hi," she smiled and pecked him on the lips to minimize the damage to her make-up.

"Before I forget, would you want to give Peyton these earrings?" Her perfectly manicured hand briefly disappeared into a shiny, white box and pulled out a pair of little red bolls..

"Peyton?"

"Look," she sighed dramatically. "I know you guys don't like each other very much but she's family so…try to be welcoming."

He looked into her sparkling green eyes. She was oblivious.

"OK," he agreed with guilt and took the jewels out of her hand.

Nervously, he stepped over the carpeted floor, to his one night stand's room. When he arrived, he didn't see her and was about to leave until he heard stumbling in the bathroom.

"P…" the sound of her name died on his lips as soon as he saw her through the gap of the door. His sky-blues began to watch her as she got dressed.

The blonde didn't even realize he was kind of being a pervert; he was just mesmerized by the sight. As if in a film, he replayed pieces of their night together. Her nails lustfully digging in his back, her lips travelling his skin, those long legs clutched around him…She certainly didn't make it easy to rip his eyes away from her body as she bowed over to pick something up.

"P-P-Peyton," he stuttered. "Ea- Earrings."

"Wait a minute!" she shouted back as his staring eyes saw her pulling a red fabric over her golden spirals.

She then finally walked out of bathroom. The dress was Brooke's and so fell very short on her legs, which made them appear even longer.

When his gaze reached her hazel orbs, he grew even more nervous. He felt a bit primitive since he literally had to restrain himself from jumping her. "Uh…" with a red-as-a-beet head, he turned around, put the earrings on the brown little table next to him and ran away without saying another word. Not exactly the way to leave an impression but it was that or throwing her on those pink sheets and crawling on top of her like some animal out of the jungle.

x

Although she should be by the fire, keeping her cousin company, Peyton was more in the mood to play DJ at the moment. It took her a mere smile to convince the guy behind the records she'd better take over because this was ear-deafening shit. OK, she didn't really say that last one. A bunch of teenagers had turned their head confused when 'Don't Cha' was brutally cut off and Bruce Springsteen's 'Born to Run' began to echo through the starry sky.

From a distance, her cousin's twenty-person clique watched the blonde ploughing through Vince's record collection. Brooke's coloured-with-personalities, popular group had its ranks though. Off course she was on top as Louis XIV, Lucas as her boyfriend was her wife; Haley, Nathan, and Rachel were the clergy and the noble ones, Bevin, Marcus, Theresa middle class and then you still had Lucas' Rivercourt friends who dangled at the bottom of the ladder as the ordinary people. However, Brooke Davis' ordinary people were the clergy and noble ones of Tree Hill High. It was kind of complicated.

"She's h-" Nathan shortly glanced at his wife and changed his choice of words "not _ugly_."

"She's smokin' hot," Marcus finished what the married man wasn't allowed to.

"I'd do her and I'm a girl," Rachel also gave her sophisticated opinion.

"She's pretty," Haley agreed.

"Yeah, she seems nice," Mouth confirmed; a statement that earned a playful push from Nathan and Skills.

"You're such a good guy, Mouth. So unlike all the other horny pigs," Nathan mocked while looking at his Louis XIV, who –before Lucas- gave guys that pet name.

"Shut up," Brooke scoffed.

"Luke, what do you think?" Rachel, who had noticed had became awfully quiet when they had begun talking about the new girl, then asked.

"She's not really my type," Lucas quickly answered.

"How can she not be your type?" his brother asked in disbelief. "She's freaking gorg-"

"Nathan!" Haley cried out and softly slapped his arm.

"Sorry…but seriously," the brown-haired boy insisted "How c-"

"She's just not my type," Lucas repeated vexed. "Just drop it, OK?"

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing, I just have better things to do then drool over her."

"What are you saying? That I-"

"Stop it!" Bevin did her contribution of the night. "Lets just have fun!"

Maybe it was the wind going through her dress and hair, maybe the novelty and mystery around her but one thing was sure: all guys' minds went blank when she walked towards them.

"Come sit with me," Marcus grinned and patted the sand; she went to sit down next to the handsome Mediterranean looking boy. "Peyton, wasn't it?" he began his flirtation. "That's a special name. Celtic?"

Nathan grinned at his friend's lines but his brother's face spoke of pure irritation.

After a while, all couples began to make out so also Brooke and Lucas but over his girlfriend's shoulder, he watched Peyton and Marcus' activities. In her emeralds, he saw the fire reflecting and dancing as she listened to him and laughed. During their conversation, though, Peyton had already made it clear to the dark-haired boy that she was in a relationship. Now they were just talking about his love debacles –apparently, he was quite the player- and plans for college; she didn't tell much about herself although Marcus made numerous attempts to make her talk about her life.

However, Lucas didn't know Peyton had told Marcus about Jake and with every word they exchanged, with every smile, he grew more jealous up until the point that he wanted to throw Brooke off his lap, march over to the two and drag Marcus to the sea by his brown-black locks so he could sleep with the jellyfishes.

Then the first part of his want unwillingly came true: as Marcus bowed over to whisper something through Peyton's spirals, Lucas went to sit up very straight in a swift motion to see what was exactly going on and poor Brooke simply rolled off his body. From the second her pretty head hit the sand, everyone looked up.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lucas immediately apologized. "Are you OK?"

"I- I'm alright," she reassured him startled under her clique's piercing eyes. Quickly, she smiled the embarrassment away but no one dared to reprise their make out sessions.

"Let's play spin the bottle," Rachel then suggested and took one of the empty vodka bottles lying at Bevin's feet. They all helped pushing the sand until it was hard enough to turn the bottle on. Bevin broke the ice and gave Mouth a smacking kiss, who on his turn kissed Rachel, who kissed Skills. And then…

"Dawg, I ain't kissing no dawg."

For the first time this evening, a genuine grin came upon Lucas face when Skills bowed over to peck his brother on the cheek. Then everyone 'awww-ed' when Nathan kissed his wife, and 'awww-ed' even more when childhood friends Haley and Lucas shortly locked lips.

Every time a guy had the bottle in their hands, they tried to use their psychic capabilities to make it point Peyton's way but without success. Up until now, the blonde had kissed no one so when the bottle finally pointed her way –Theresa pecked her- the guys clapped their hands inside. Who would get to kiss her?

They carefully watched how her porcelain hand clutched the glass and swung it. It seemed like an eternity before it at last stopped and pointed to Lucas. Since the two blondes sat completely opposite one another, they had to crawl to each other on hands and knees. As if the situation wasn't uncomfortable enough as it was.

"O, no fair!" Marcus cried out. "He doesn't even like her!"

Peyton almost invisibly raised an eyebrow upon those words and looked deep into his eyes. Lucas knew what her hazel orbs were accusing him off. _Liar_. She raised her hand and let it sink into his blonde hair.

Slowly, she bowed over and opened her mouth; it fit perfectly into his. Lucas' body went hot and cold as he felt her full lips move feverishly under his. The blonde realized it would probably the last time he'd get to do this and he sort of had permission now; they were playing a game. So he let his tongue slip into her mouth.

After a couple of seconds of watching their lips move against each other, a soft, low moan escaped Peyton's throat. _Tongue?_ A few people gaspingly put their hands in front of their faces and shared understanding but confused looks. What the hell was happening there?

When merely a second later, the curly blonde excited a slightly louder one with Lucas before they eagerly captured each other's lips again, Bevin decided it had been enough. Poor flabbergasted Brooke. "OK, I-" she began and took the bottle but was immediately cut off by Rachel, who put her hand in front of the ditzy blonde's mouth.

"Shhhhh…" she ordered as Lucas and Peyton seemed to have forgotten they were surrounded by about more than a dozen teenagers; he had even cupped her cheek and Rachel swore she had seen him faintly smile. Except for Bevin's attempt, none of the teenagers undertook something; they were all too bewildered.

Haley did shake her brown locks disapproving: she wasn't used this from her best friend. Lucas wasn't a Casanova or some sex-crazed pervert…. He was a good guy; Brooke was only his first girlfriend so what the hell was he doing with this Peyton? And hadn't she heard _her_ saying to Marcus -who looked, by the way, completely appalled (he found himself way hotter than Lucas) - she has a two-year boyfriend?

Then their slightly thicker, heated lips pulled apart and the blondes gazed at each other with blushing cheeks and obvious arousal in their eyes. For a moment, it seemed as if they were about to begin round two but then they went back to their spots. One kiss was the game; they had done nothing wrong.

Peyton shot Mouth, who was staring at her with popped eyes, an innocent smile and Lucas carelessly reached for the bottle like their kiss had been a one like all the others before theirs.

Everyone gazed at them in utter shock, except for Rachel, who was devilishly smirking._ This is better than 'The OC_," the redhead thought.

Lucas took a deep breath and spun the bottle. It pointed to Rachel. He very shortly pecked her –his lips barely touched hers- and pulled back.

A dropped jaw joined everyone's speechless stares.

x

After the beach party, Brooke had driven the core of her clique home and had acted like her usual, perky self. However, she might be shallow but she wasn't stupid. There was something happening between those two broody blondes and she would make damn sure it couldn't and wouldn't evolve. Her deep-green eyes attentively held onto the sight of her cousin as she stumbled down the stairs.

"Morning," Peyton greeted even though it was already noon.

"Good morning."

"…shower," she mumbled.

"U-huh."

From the moment she heard the water running, Brooke sneaked into her passed aunt's old room and looked for Peyton's cell phone. She scrolled through the contacts until she found the name she was looking for, took her own phone and dialled the New Yorkian number.

"Hi, Jake…Brooke Davis, I'm Peyton's cousin, she must've told you about me…Look, me and my friends are going to stay in this luxurious cabin next week and I was just wondering if you didn't want to come? Peyton doesn't want to admit it, but I think she feels a bit uncomfortable around all these strangers and would like if you came along…Yeah, she really misses you…I can imagine…Really?...That's _great_!"

A smirk curled her rosy lips as the brunette closed her pink Blackberry. Then she took pearl-shell, Yves-Saint-Laurent, nail-polish and while happily humming to Rihanna, she began to paint her nails. This phone call had made her day: the tale of Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer had prematurely met with disaster in the form of…_her!_

* * *

I've noticed this with my other story for the first time but I really like Rachel. She's the perfect bitch lol. Anyway, tell me what you think! 


	3. Through The Bars of A Rhyme

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this next one:)

* * *

3. Through The Bars of A Rhyme

A bouquet of velvet white roses with lilac forget-me-nots in between graced her porcelain-coloured hands as she walked through the fence of the cemetery. The summer wind blew through her long golden curls and for a moment, Peyton rose her emeralds to the blue, sunny sky.

_This_, the blonde thought a tad cynic, _must be one of the finest examples of contrasting spaces_.

Upon hearing what the wanted bouquet served for, the flower girl had insisted Peyton had better made another choice seeing roses wither quite fast but the blonde hadn't listened to her speech. Her mother loved _roses_. So, she had told the blabbering girl, she wanted _roses_ and she wanted those _roses_ combined with forget-me-nots.

After about two hundred tombstones, she kneeled down at the dark-grey one she needed and laid the result of her persistency on the grave. The black print letters said:

IN MEMORY OF

**ANNA REBECCA SAWYER**

BELOVED MOTHER AND WIFE

SEP. 17. 1965 – AUG. 2. 1999

Almost immediately after Anna's funeral, Larry had left for New York and taken his little girl with. The fact that his house had just been paid off or that his daughter had her friends here at school hadn't mattered. They would build up a new life, away from Tree Hill, where everything reminded him of his passed wife.

Peyton never came back until now. Her family also preferred to come and visit her in New York. The 'Big Apple' was exciting to them. Brooke always went completely crazy and ran from one designer store to the other.

Anyway, it had been eight years since she had seen this headstone. When her mother's coffin descended into the ground, a sobbing Larry had held onto a numb Peyton. The curly girl had said nothing, nor had she cried.

The bomb would burst later, during puberty. Soon, she had perfected the art of throwing with doors and her father's jaw had often dropped at her razor-sharp put-downs, blames, insults and comebacks. At the age of sixteen, she had gone further than the average teenager concerning 'rebellion', jumping into the party scene to snort cocaine and flush the white powder with hard liquor.

It had dazed the empty feeling she had felt ever since her mother's death and as soon as the numbing effect wore out, she had gone back for more. Peyton had been sinking deeper and deeper into deterioration but truly dangerous it had gotten when she began to do _heroine _and while the drugs couldn't indefinitely take away the darkness that kept drawing a shadow over her life, she had continued using them.

It had appeared she was doomed to end on the streets, _strung-out in heaven's high _like David Bowie would sing it. Now, she hadn't quite ended up on the streets but drugged out on a park bench, which was just as bad or maybe even worse. It wasn't sure what had been worse but one thing _was _sure: Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer had reached an all-time low, laying there on the wet wood.

And she hadn't cared. Over the years, her mother had left her, then her father and now one for one, her friends too. No one had stayed. If nobody gave a rat's ass about her, why would she?

When her last remaining friend, Ellen, had magisterially asked her where _in God's name_ she wanted to be in two years, Peyton had stared her deeply in the eyes and answered, completely in Sid Vicious-style: 'Under the ground.' Her self-esteem couldn't have been less existent or her mental state more alarming.

And Ellen couldn't have shut the door behind her faster .

Then, in the darkest period of her life, she had met Jake, an eighteen year old medical student who -for some reason- had immediately fallen in love with the mess she was. They had slowly become friends but she pigheadedly kept her antiques of destruction going. One night, he had firmly put his foot down and dragged her out of a dodgy nightclub, thrown her over his shoulder and locked her up in her room. The boy had made her go cold turkey and damn, had she been pissed…However, after three days of screaming, crying, begging, hallucinating and shivering; she had been clean.

Two weeks later, she and Jake had gotten together.

A year-and-a-half had gone by and Peyton had been content. Not happy but _content_. That was, until Jake had come to her with humble posture, _weeping_, to announce he had had an affaire. For four months. With some random slut-waitress. _OK, then_…It hadn't been some random girl but his first love: a heavily eye-lined brunette named Nikki.

_But it was over now_, Jake had reassured her and begged Peyton for mercy. Because she was the love of his life and he'd always be faithful from now on if she'd just _please, please, please_ forgive him. She had quickly –after a week - given him that forgiveness because it had been _one _mistake. For the rest, he had always been good to her and more important: he had made her life less uncertain.

Besides...if she'd dump him she'd probably stay alone for the rest of her life. After all, who else besides Jake would be able to love and handle her?

Sure, she was beautiful but way too complicated and packed with bad history; it scared guys off. They would approach her angelic appearance, look in her deep-emeralds and walk away again when they saw this wasn't just a pretty girl. When they saw the darkness and loneliness in those big eyes. Even Marcus, a couple of days ago at the fire, had seemed uncomfortable talking to her after a while.

As said before, most people in her life had left her. Jake had stayed so it was only fair that she'd stay with him too. The friends that had crawled back after she bettered her life, hadn't seen it that way. No, they had thought she should simply grow some self-respect and dump Jake's sorry, cheating ass. She hadn't followed their advice since she had thought they didn't have the right to interfere with her and Jake. _He_ had been the one present during the bad times, not them.

On the subject of sex, it was simple: she hadn't had it until Jake. This was a fact which she was quite proud of. _Yes_, she had richly indulged into drugs and alcohol in the past but she had never jumped in bed with a stranger or a fellow junkie 'friend' and sure, she had woken up in many different houses and flats but _never_ without clothes on. Her virginity had once been the only part of her dignity she had left and she had sworn herself to never have sex with a boy without love. A faint sign of _self_-love.

A lot had happened because, with and to her. That's why it had surprised her so much when the blonde boy at the airport kept staring right into her eyes; without holding back. That's why it had surprised her that she had invited him in her hotel room; it had certainly not been every day Peyton Sawyer behaviour. And that's why it had surprised her that they had well…made _love_, really.

It was the first time this had happened to her: falling in love with someone a couple of hours after meeting him but she sensed he was captured by the same feeling. She wasn't sure _why_ he exactly liked her. However, she felt he did. She felt he _cared_. She had felt it during their conversations. She had felt it in the way he had tenderly moved his lips against hers. She had _known_ it when he had climbed up to her face with a trail of kisses and had said he wanted this to be more than an ordinary one night stand.

But the thing she'd remember until the day she'd die is that he told her she was _special_. No one -not even Jake- had ever told her that. She still couldn't believe he had really meant it. She'd like to believe more than anything he did.

Although she had told Lucas a lot about her _current_ life in her New York; about her mother, he still didn't know about her drug –and alcohol history. He probably never would: her past addictions were firmly kept under the wraps by _pater familias_ Davis. She wouldn't dare or want to tell him anyway...Lucas obviously saw her as some image of perfection and would he still like her if she'd confess how much she had been going off the rails a few years ago? The answer is probably 'no'.

Not that it mattered; she had Jake, who she was now even with: a three-month affaire opposite a one night stand plus mind-blowing kiss.

Batting the earth of her dark blue jean Peyton stood up and walked back to the silver Audi she had been allowed to borrow from her uncle. It had been under pressure of her aunt though: Richard Davis didn't trust that 'big-haired mischief' one bit. If it had been up to him, Peyton would be driving the rusty tricycle buried under oil-spotted sheets in their garage.

Just as she was about to step into the car, she spotted a small record store. _Music_. The thing besides Jake and her art that had never left her. How could she have missed this shop earlier? Without looking, she crossed the streets. Well, _half_-crossed the streets because suddenly, she heard the screaming tires of a braking car. Her body briefly paralyzed before she furiously yanked her head the sound's way and shot a death-glare through the car glass.

Her eyes softened when they connected with that enthralling pair of water-blues that had won her over hardly a week ago. Lucas. He first looked back in utter shock, and then stepped out of his car, running over to her. His hands slid over her body swiftly until his left one stopped at her cheek; the other one still travelling over her figure.

"Peyton, are you OK? Did I hurt you?" he looked up in her eyes.

"Yeah. I'm alright," the blonde reassured him. "Really," she added when he went back to scanning her with concern.

The concern eventually faded and then he just kept looking at her like a dog at a bone he couldn't have while his right hand unwarily stroke up and down over her waist, covered with a figure-hugging Johnny Cash shirt. Since when did rock tees look this good on a body? Weren't they usually loose and unflattering?

"I'm alright," she repeated once more and softly took his one hand off her cheek, the other off her waist.

"Well…What are you doing here?" he now asked while scratching the back of his head embarrassed. "Shouldn't you be packing? We leave in three hours."

"I had to take care of something."

He looked deeply into her hazel eyes, as if to ask 'take care of what'.

"I just wanted to have a look in that record store there," she then pointed across the street, not in the mood to talk about her trip to the cemetery.

He glanced at the little, grey shop with the Deep Purple and Black Sabbath posters.

"I love that record store," he said. "They have _everything_."

"Everything?" the blonde repeated a bit disappointed.

"Well, not the Fergie-kind of everything," he smiled. "The _good_ kind of everything."

"D-"

Her words were brutally cut off by the honking of at least seven cars.

"Wait…" Lucas said and jumped back into his car. "I'm coming with you."

"Uh…OK."

Two minutes later, when Lucas had parked, they disappeared into the music store.

* * *

"**WHERE are Lucas and Peyton?**" 

The whole gang was there and gazed at their queen bee without answering her.

"Probably getting it on," Rachel silently mumbled to Haley, who threw her a disapproving stare.

"We are leaving in an hour, they're gone and neither of them is picking up their **goddamn** phone!"

She put her hand in her side, swiftly licked her upper lip before biting it and gazing up at the ceiling in deep irritation. When she heard a knocking, she immediately looked down and flew to the door like a Greek fury.

"About damn time th-"

The door flew open and briefly, the brunette was perplexed. In front of her stood one of the best-looking guys she had ever seen. Tall, with mesmerizing dark-brown eyes and an _adorable_ smile. She recognized him from the picture in Peyton's wallet. Jake.

"Brooke Davis?"

"Heh," she sighed out.

"I'm Jake," he greeted and offered his hand. "Peyton's boyfriend."

"Hi…Uh…H…How old were you again, Jake?"

"Twenty."

"Eh."

He raised his eyebrow at the perplexed girl and then shortly waved at the filled room. "Hey."

"Hi, Jake," the girls giggled simultaneously.

Annoyed, Nathan looked down at his wife, who had been giggling just as much. Then, when he saw she was blushing, his blue eyes popped in disbelief. "Haley!" he hissed. If _he_ couldn't look at Peyton, _she_ couldn't look at Jake.

"Sorry," she immediately ripped her eyes away from him. "Don't be mad," she whispered in Nathan's ear when he kept scowling displeased. Then he looked down into her puppy eyes.

"I'm not," he said, almost sighing at his incapability to resist her.

They shared a quick but sweet kiss.

"I love you," Haley declared against his cheek before pressing her lips against it.

"Love you too."

"Barf."

That was Rachel.

"So…" Jake then began when his girlfriend was nowhere to be seen "Where's Peyton?"

* * *

"Thanks for buying me the record," Peyton said before her plastic spoon dived into her ice-cream again. "I'll pay you back as soon as we get home." 

Once in the record store, Peyton's eyes had fallen onto a NOFX' record. Linoleum. She had it on CD but still she wanted it and since she had spent all her money on the flowers and left her card at home, Lucas had offered to buy it.

"Don't. It's a gift," he objected and bit his strawberry-with-melon ice.

"Uh..." Peyton glanced puzzled at the teeth marks in his ice cream -she had never seen someon _bite_ his ice- and then turned her head away again. "Lucas, y-"

"I won't take no for an answer so just be a cooperative girl for once and accept it."

Peyton hesitated. "OK," she then agreed. "But next time you want a book… **I'm** buying it. Deal?"

"Deal," he nodded. "So…" Lucas then began "What are you having?"

Peyton looked up at the blue-eyed boy, whose eyes were practically rolling out of their sockets, into her blue plastic cup. The stare was similar with the one earlier, when he was gazing at her body, only less tortured. He wasn't exactly subtle, was he?

"Chocolate-mint," the blonde answered with an amused smile and then held up her spoon, carrying a big scoop of ice. "Why? Do you want some?"

"Yes, please," he answered and then let her feed him.

As soon as he had swallowed it, he looked down at his own ice cream sadly.

"You want to _trade_, Luke?" Peyton spoke to him the way you address a child.

"Uh-huh," he nodded.

"You're such a baby," she mocked and handed him her ice cream.

"Me?" he laughed. "Well, I've heard from reliable sources that you sleep with a stuffed, little bunny in your arms." He finished his cup in ten seconds and threw it in a trashcan.

"I do not!" she cried out looking down thoughtful at the teeth-marked strawberry ice. "OK...I do," the blonde then admitted. When she looked back up, she had a pink spot on her cheek. "But don't tell anyone…Or it'll be the last thing you tell," she jokingly threatened.

The pink ice-cream on her cheekbone kind of weakened her warning words. "Ummm…" Lucas began and tried to suppress laughter

"What?"

"You have ice-cream on your face, killer," he mocked.

"Where?" the blonde asked beet-headed and immediately rubbed her mouth, her nose…everything except her cheek.

"Wait," he said when she kept missing it.

Her cheeks became even redder than they already were when his hand approached her face and softly brushed it with a faint smile. He always treated her so tenderly and the way he looked at her with those blues…like she was perfection in carnation. It felt really nice to be looked at that way.

Quickly, he had wiped all the ice away. However, his hand lingered on her skin; his thumb kept stroking it. He gazed into her adoring hazels; first with softness but then more intensely. His grip over her cheek slightly tightened before he buried his fingers deep in her curls.

"Luke..." she began "we talked about this."

He knew she expected from him to take his hand away but he didn't care about what he had agreed to anymore. He was completely infatuated with this girl and he'll break things off with Brooke if that was what it'd take to be with her. Really. He'd do it. He _will_ do it.Off course not now, less than an hour before they'd leave for the cabin –he didn't want to ruin this trip for her- but soon. Maybe he'll break her heart but in the end, it would be the best. For both of them.

Slowly, he bowed over and first tenderly brushed his nose against hers. Peyton simply let her ice cream slip out of her hands as his lips neared hers until they lightly touched them. Before he had the chance to capture them, she placed her hands on his head, led it back a little and shook her curls. Instead of pulling back, Lucas took one of her hand off his hair and lowered it in his neck; the other one could stay there whilst he'd kiss her breath away. Determined, he neared again. "Lucas..." she faintly protested against his approaching lips before a male voice from behind the corner interrupted their moment.

Peyton immediately yanked her head away. She knew this voice. "_Jake_?" the blonde first questioned herself completely confused. "Jake?" she repeated louder and walked the voice's direction. Lucas followed her non-understanding.

"Peyton!"

At the Davis' residence, Brooke had suddenly remembered her father had this device to track cars down. Jake had told her he'd go get Peyton. As he had driven through the town, he saw her leave an ice cream store further on but he couldn't just have gone to her; he still had had to park his car. After that had happened, he had to ask the ice cream guy where she had headed for. He hadn't known but some guy in the salon -around twenty years old, Jake had estimated- _had_. First, the guy had commented with a grin that that was one hot girl.

'Oh, I'm sorry, man. Is she your girlfriend?' he had asked upon Jake's displeased expresion.

Jake had confirmed that and then the guy had said she went to the left and had also added something about watching out: there had been a boy with her who seemed to have the hots for her. Now, he accelerated his tread towards the corner and then finally bumped into his girlfriend as they both turned around it. He immediately cupped her cheek and kissed her. "Hey, you…"

"Hi…" she greeted back, still confused "Not that I'm not happy to see you but…What are you doing here?"

"Didn't she tell you? Brooke called me to ask if I'd like to come to some cabin, to be with you. I said yes," he smilingly explained before capturing her lips another time.

Then, as he looked over his girlfriend's shoulder, Jake noticed a tall blonde stabbing at him with his eyes. So _he_ had the hots for Peyton, huh? Possessively, he pressed his girlfriend closer. "I missed you." While he kissed her, he observed the guy's reaction further and noticed he slowly curled his hand into a fist. He had probably tried to _seduce_ her here, Jake thought suspiciously before he wrapped his arm around **his** girl's waist even tighter. So tight that she had to arch her back and then he bowed over to kiss her even deeper; showing him 'she's mine' until he was sure the _pretty boy_'s head was about to explode.

Then he briefly left her lips and locked his deep brown eyes with the jealous blues.

"This is-" Peyton began but was immediately cut off again by her boyfriend's lips.

"Huh…" the blonde pulled back to catch her breath, almost panting. "Jake… this is Lucas Scott, ummm…Brooke's boyfriend," she introduced "Lucas, this is Jake Jagielski, _my_ boyfriend."

Low grumbles left their throats as they shook hands.

* * *

The three cars, which they had driven with along deserted highways, pulled up in front of the huge, wooden cabin. The four-hour drive had been horrible for Peyton, who had had to share a car with Jake, Lucas, Brooke, Rachel, Bevin and Theresa. 

For the past five days, she had tried to ignore the jealous feeling rushing over her whenever she saw Brooke and Lucas kiss or hold hands. Now she also had to keep an eye on Jake, who constantly had cheerleader hands on him. Rachel had practically _pushed _Peyton on the floor in her haste to go sit down next to _her_ boyfriend and OK, she knew he wouldn't cheat again but it had still stung.

A little more in the back, in the roomy trunk; Brooke had been making out with Lucas upon which the curly blonde had had to suppress to urge to pull her off him by her brown locks. When the brunette had given him a little breathing space, his stare automatically wandered off to his girlfriend's curly cousin after a while. At a certain point, Peyton had felt his blue eyes pierce and briefly looked over her shoulder to carefully smile at him. Off course Jake had immediately noticed and also turned around to stare at Lucas warning.

Anyway, since Rachel had pushed Peyton away, the blonde had ended up in the passenger seat next to Bevin a.k.a the chauffeur a.k.a Bird Brain. When 'Kiss' had begun to play on the radio and Bevin sang along loudly _and_ the right lyrics, Peyton had asked: 'Do you like Prince?' upon which she responded 'We have a president…Duh!"

"I'm sorry," Jake whispered in Peyton's ear as they entered the cabin.

"Why?"

"Because you had to talk to Einstein there," he nodded towards Bevin, who just pointed at a picture on the wall and asked Rachel if she painted this. She was pointing at a Manet replica. Le Déjeuner sur l'Herbe, probably one of the most famous impressionist works of all time. Very controversial too. The curly blonde let out a laugh when Bevin nodded impressed upon the redhead's positive answer.

"Oh, God, Luke!" Haley suddenly shrieked while helping her friend get up. Since Lucas had been observing Jake and Peyton, he hadn't seen the obstacle in the form of a small coffee table in front of him and had dived against the floor. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine," he answered ashamed.

"**Come here, everyone**," Rachel clapped her hands, taking charge. "Time to divide the rooms!"

"I'm not sleeping next to Brooke and Lucas!" Haley immediately said.

"Me neither," a few people backed her up.

"Why not?" the brunette pouted.

"Because you make too much noise when you have sex, Brooke," Mouth simply answered but it wasn't light-hearted. He had always had a thing for the head cheerleader. Unfortunately for him, she just saw him as her baby brother and nothing more.

Although Peyton felt it was easier to get her mind of Lucas now that Jake was here, she couldn't help but bow her head and enviously nibble her bottom lip. Lucas glanced at her to see her reaction and took some kind of satisfaction into seeing she was staring at her feet annoyed.

Jake threw a look at Lucas, who he saw was _again_ staring at his girlfriend. He narrowed his eyes; this guy was beginning to get on his nerves. Did he want those pretty blue eyes on tooth picks or something?

"We'll sleep next to you, Brooke," Jake spoke up and Lucas tore his eyes away from Peyton. "This one here just as loud," he added with a brief but intense look at the blonde boy, who was the only one who didn't begin to gasp, chuckle or laugh.

"Jake!" Peyton immediately looked up and tapped his chest.

"What?" he innocently asked.

Then Rachel showed them their rooms by pointing at two dark-brown, oaken doors.

Simultaneously, Jake and Lucas picked up their own and their girlfriend's suitcases and shot each other looks which could kill. Then they headed towards the opened door that led to their rooms. Everyone raised an eyebrow at the sight of the two tall, broad-shouldered men with a suitcase in each hand, pushing each other as they tried to manoeuvre their way through the rather small door opening together.

"Out of the way," Jake, pissed off beyond belief, ordered before pushing Lucas behind.

Lucas muttered an insult which was answered with a threatening 'What did you say?'

"Jake…" Peyton stepped in. "Let's just go to our room."

"I said th-" he began louder but Brooke cut him off. "Come," she ordered and walked along to their bedroom. This wasn't working out the way she had expected it to…Lucas seemed willing to go into battle now instead of backing off.

"That boy is…" Rachel began to no one in particular as the four disappeared "head over heels in love with her."

"I know," Haley answered troubled. "Poor Brooke. And am I going crazy...or is she in love with him too?"

"I think so. Poor Jake."

"Yeah."

Then the girls locked eyes surprised. For the first time in their lives, they agreed on something.

* * *

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

So, I know Jake is OOC but it's not OTH Jake, it's _my_ Jake. Although I don't own any of the characters ;)


	4. Nightly Chocolate Milk

**A/N: **Thanks to all the reviewers! I'm happy you guys enjoy my twisted humour. :)

* * *

4. Nightly Chocolate Milk

A climbing wall. Eighty-six metres long ropes. Rocks. A thirty-metre jump into the depth.

Simply: **_the_** **_Death Ride_**.

Nathan had bravely kept his anxiety inside during the instructor's theoretical explanation. However, now, as he stood here, with a safety harness strapped around his waist and legs and a sun-reflecting red helmet on his brown locks, he felt overwhelmed with pure fright.

"Are you alright?" Haley in the meanwhile caringly asked Lucas, whose eyes nervously glanced back and forward between the rocks and the climbing wall.

"Yes," he nodded unconvincing. The blonde didn't really want to do it but he also didn't want to look a coward in front of Peyton. _Jake_ was going up.

"You don't _have_ to do it," Peyton suddenly said. When she placed her hand on his arm, he finally tore his eyes away from the Death Ride, into her emeralds. They sparkled in the sunlight.

"No," he objected. "I want to."

She nodded. "OK." Since Jake had joined the gang less than two days ago, Peyton visibly felt more comfortable around Lucas because… Surely no one could think she had feelings for her cousin's boyfriend now Jake was here.

She took her porcelain-coloured hand off his arm but as she pulled back, Lucas grabbed it. He just wanted this trip to be over, break up with Brooke and convince her of breaking up with Jake. He'd move to New York after the summer, for college so they could easily be together. Peyton looked up in his blues, pleading for him to let her go. There were people here, right beside them. She fiercely wished she could push him away and free her hand yet it was hopeless: the blonde got her under his skin.

Haley glanced at Peyton and Lucas' intertwined hands before seeing they were also gazing into each other's eyes. If she had had doubts at all, they were completely gone now. She had never seen her friend this crazy about someone and if this Peyton girl was the one he wanted a future with, she didn't mind. However they should first break up with their partners. Brooke was checking her safety harness a bit further with the instructor; Jake was waiting at the bottom of the climbing wall and here these two blondes were, holding hands and staring into each other's eyes. They were becoming quite sloppy in hiding their feelings.

Apparently, she wasn't the only one who thought so: Skills shook his head disapproving, flattened his hand and tapped Lucas on the back of his head. The awkwardness after the blondes had pulled apart was quickly topped by Rachel's cursing voice. The pretty redhead had some trouble changing her buckles from the lower to the upper rope.

"Gattina!" Nathan shouted up jumpy. "Are you OK?"

Quickly, the buckle clicked into place. "All good!" Rachel yelled back.

"Uh…I ain't going," Skills decided and immediately began to remove his gear.

Nathan wanted to do the same and was about to announce he wasn't coming either but was cut off by his wife.

"Look at Mouth! He's going _fast_," Haley shrieked and everyone looked up. It was true: he was climbing the wooden wall swiftly and practically _jumped _on the rope, which earned a small squeal from Rachel. When Nathan saw Haley's impressed expression, he changed his mind: he'd go up after all.

"**Next one!**" the instructor yelled.

Fifteen minutes of wall-climbing later, Lucas was up in the sky. His hands were white from clutching the cables and ropes with all his strength. To Lucas' right, Jake was shuffling over the rope. To his left, Brooke. Next to the dimpled girl moved Haley and next to _her,_ Bevin. Carefully looking further, Lucas noticed his now trembling brother had just joined them on the rope, right after Peyton, whose face was folded in deep concentration. The tip of her tongue stuck out of her mouth every time she ran her hands over her rope and checked her buckles at turns. When she noticed Lucas looking at her, she briefly waved at him encouraging. Despite his fear, he waved back.

Suddenly, they all jolted. Lucas' hands immediately clutched onto the rope as his eyes ripped themselves away from Peyton.

"**It's OK, baby!**" he heard Haley shout at his brother, who was hysterically crying for his wife's help. "**Just breathe!**"

**"No, Haley, I want to go back!" **Nathan desperately screamed

"Nathan," Peyton firmly began. "You **cannot** go back now so just do what Haley says. Relax and don't look down, OK?"

"OK," he sighed out with a short nod. "OK…"

It took Lucas at least ten seconds to recover from the shock. Dazed and confused, he turned his pallid face to the right where Jake was.

"Woops. _Slipped_," that one simply said.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"Oh, I don't have a problem," he replied. "But _you_ will if you don't **back off.**"

Lucas shuffled more to Jake, briefly glanced at Brooke and when she didn't seem to follow their conversation, he asked softly:

"What?"

"Please, I'm not blind. You're in love with my girlfriend."

They fell in a brief silence.

"So?" Lucas then broke it. "Pey-" Before he could finish his sentence, Jake again yanked the rope.

_If blondie wouldn't listen_, Jake thought, _he'd_ **_learn._** _The hard way. _

Lucas tightened his grip over the wiggling rope above him desperately. However, when he locked eyes with Jake's entertained browns; he removed his hand, raised it and slapped him. Off course Jake didn't just let that happen and slapped back. It was like they had a shot of adrenaline rushing through their veins that made them forget they were thirty metres above solid earth.

The rope began to rock faster and under them, the instructor was bellowing loudly, ordering them to stop fighting **at once**. A bit further on the rope, Peyton tried to calm Nathan down.

"**We're _all_ going to DIE!**" the youngest Scott brother now sobbed.

"No, we're not," she soothed as she also tried to keep her balance. "We're well protected by the cables."

"**We're all going to die…**" Nathan kept repeating.

"Stop it!" Peyton then shouted at Lucas and Jake. "Nathan's losing it!"

They didn't stop. Lucas and Jake kept fighting, the instructor roaring, Nathan screaming and Bevin, Brooke, Haley and Peyton trying to keep their balance so that they wouldn't dangle off a cable at thirty metres.

**"STOOOOOOOOOOOOP IIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!**" Brooke suddenly squawked loudly.

_God damn it_, she was **sick** of it. Sick of Jake and Lucas' jealousy, sick of them fighting over Peyton and simply sick of Peyton. She wished she had never invited her cousin to Tree Hill. Her broody, 'deep', tortured-looking; oh-so-beautiful, boyfriend-seducing, ex-junkie, artist, _cousin_. To hell with her! Unbuckle her cables! Throw her in the depth!

"Yes, _Lucas_, stop pulling the rope," Jake addressed him. "You're scaring your brother."

With that, Jake finished the air-track and climbed onto the rocks. After another thirty minutes, everyone was down except for Nathan, who stayed at the same spot on the rope for two successive hours until finally daring to move again.

x

It was evening. Since the Death Ride debacle, Peyton hadn't spoken a word to her boyfriend. Jake had always had his edge –he was very dominant- but this possessive behaviour was getting out of hand. He didn't know she and Lucas had sex so…What had made him do this then? A few stolen glances and smiles?

She took her lip balm out of her make-up bag and began to apply it with a small brush. Originally, she just dived into strawberry-scenting stuff with her index finger until Brooke had told her million-and-one bacteria are stuck under your fingernails and that they reproduce in the balm.

When Jake walked in the room, he first stared at his girlfriend cautiously before walking up to the blonde and wrapping his arms around her. "Come on, babe, talk to me," he pleaded. "I won't do it again…"

"What?" she finally snapped. "Give Nathan a nervous breakdown or fight with Lucas?"

He sighed and just shrugged. Peyton took a long look at him. She should probably just drop it, right? After all, she did sleep with another guy…and that guy was Lucas. "It's OK;" she gave in. "I forgive you…But please just be nice from now on."

x

After dinner, at which Jake had been good, they had decided to play 'hints' and now it was Peyton's turn. The blonde found these kinds of games the ideal opportunity to drop some names of actually interesting films like for example _The Blood Diamond_ or _Rosemary's Baby_ and get them acquainted with something else than _American Pie III_.

"OK," her team, which consisted of Skills, Nathan, Bevin and Jake, nodded. "Three words…second word…"

Peyton put both hands on her head and curled them. "Bug?" Mouth scowled.

She shook her head.

"Monster?"

"Halloween?"

"OK, OK, third word…" Nathan urged when they kept guessing wrong.

Then the blonde pretended she had bayonet on her.

"Murderer?" Jake asked.

"Star Wars!" Nathan cried out. His face dropped when Peyton mouthed 'no'.

"Gun?" Skills continued speculating.

"_Bang_?" Bevin tried.

To all answers, she simply shook her head. Everyone laughed when usually reserved Peyton suddenly began to crawl across room. Lucas had to restrain himself from shouting out the answer he had guessed ages ago, which was quite frustrating.

"Babe, you should've picked something easier. No one knows this," Jake pointed out.

"Time's up," Rachel then announced and Peyton stood up.

"Oh, come on, you guys," she cried out disappointed as she went to sit down next to her boyfriend again. "It's-"

"The Deer Hunter," Lucas quickly finished. The answer earned him a nod and an admiring look from Peyton, followed by dirty ones from Jake and Brooke.

"The Deer Hunter?" Nathan asked puzzled. "I've heard that before."

"We watched it together with Hales, Nate," Lucas said.

"We did?"

"Yes, it's with Robert de Niro and Meryl Streep. Yeah, you do know it," Lucas insisted when his brother shook his head. "That one guy lost his legs because he fell down from the helicopter."

"No," Nathan kept saying "No, I don't remember."

"Christopher –what's his name-"

"Walken?" Haley offered, slowly recalling the film.

"Yes, Walken. Well that one then stayed in Vietnam and went all crazy with Russian roulette and heroine a-"

"Say, Luke," Brooke quickly jumped in. "On the topic of heroine: what do you think about people" she gazed at her cousin with piercing eyes "…using…_drugs_?"

"Uh…" he was a bit puzzled as to why she suddenly wanted his opinion on this matter "Why?"

"Just because."

Although obviously uncomfortable with the subject, Peyton cocked her ears: she wanted to hear what Lucas had to say.

"Come on, Luke," Brooke insisted.

"Well…" he began "I think they're…_sad_, I guess."

"Or plain _weak_," Haley interfered. "They're people with zero personality, incapable of taking control over their lives and behaviour."

"**What?**" Rachel asked, immediately upset.

_Oh, great_, Peyton though. _A debate_.

"Yes, I've seen a report _on TV_. Instead of maturely facing their problems, they ignore them by popping pills and injecting their veins with poison."

"But what about teens then?" the redhead objected heated as Peyton slid deeper and deeper away in the couch. "They aren't mature so they can't '_maturely'_," she air-quoted "face their problems."

"Then they should get _help _w-"

"You don't want _help_ when you're addicted," Rachel chuckled coldly. "You just want more _drugs_."

Haley raised an eyebrow at the passion which Rachel spoke about the subject with. "Whatever," she replied. "If you're a strong person, you don't get addicted in the first place. It's a sign of pure weakness. I'm sorry but that's just the way I think about it."

"You're _very_ judgemental," the redhead accused, increasingly angered. "Do y-"

"It's not being judgemental," Lucas backed his friend up. "It's just the truth. With Dan…and you know…" he addressed his brother, whose cheeks turned red in shame.

It couldn't be dissembled: Nathan had had truly _bullied_ his half-brother. From the age of six until the age of six-teen. In elementary school, he and his friends would've poured milk in Lucas bag pack, thrown him and his books in the mud, kicked and beat him, ripped his homework and many more similar things. In middle –and high school, they had mostly insulted with words, although a beating or a trip down in the mud hadn't been ruled out. And how would he have fought back against three or four boys? With his army of himself and Haley?

That last one had, obviously, fallen in love with Nathan around the time where she had begun to tutor him. Lucas had found it horrible –the tutoring **and** the love part- and had even considered breaking off their friendship. Eventually, he had decided not to because he had seen how happy Nathan made Haley and how much better _she_ made _him_.

From the moment Lucas had allowed her to date Nathan, Haley had begun to work on operation 'reunite estranged half-brothers'. She had spent hours and hours just pleading for them to merely talk. Without success until one evening when she had secretly invited them both at her house at the same time. Risky, it could've cost her both boys but it had turned out well.

She had suggested watching A Walk to Remember- and the three of them had plumped down in the coach.However, during her toilet break, Nathan had flipped to a Knicks match. He and Lucas had both cheered for the New Yorkian team upon which Lucas had seriously said: "Maybe you're not that evil." They slowly, very slowly, had begun to accept each other as months passed but even when Nathan and Haley had gotten married, the half-brothers still weren't _friends_. They had just accepted from the other one that he was there.

It had taken Haley to leave on tour with Chris Keller followed by a depression from Nathan to push them to friendship. Since Dan and Deb had banished their son out of their lives from the moment he put that ring on Haley's finger, Nathan had no one. Except for Lucas. That one had decided to take care of his brother, ordering him to take a shower on daily basis and ditching the booze too. Yes, Nathan had been mean, sneaky and cold but it was still his brother, right? He couldn't just watch him dig a deeper hole for himself and remain on the sideline as he ruined his life. After all, Lucas had begun to see, Nathan was just another one of Dan Scott's many victims.

Step-by-step, they had become friends. It had been official when one day, a new basketball player had mockingly -because that silent guy always had a book with him, even during practice one laid on the bleachers- asked:

"Djeez, who's the geek?"

"He isn't a geek. He's my brother," Nathan had defended Lucas.

Not much later, he had become one of the high school elite –willingly or unwillingly and at the very bottom of their hierarchy ladder - together with Haley, who had by then come back and won her husband back. But that's another story.With the popular kids, he had met Brooke. Off course he had noticed her beauty before but he hadn't been drawn nor had he 'chased' her. The brunette, on the other hand, had rubbed her hands at the hot, fresh meat and had asked him out on a date. They'd go see a movie. They hadn't seen a thing from the film as Brooke had crawled on top of him at "AND KATE WINSLET'. They have been together for six months now and it isn't like he didn't love her but…Since he knew Peyton, his feelings for Brooke just seemed so _pale_.

"I didn't have the easiest of lives," Lucas continued "but I never turned into a junkie. In my opinion, it's a matter of personality and will-power."

Brooke cracked a pleased smile before looking at Peyton intensely, as if to say: "He wouldn't give you a second glance if he knew."

"Come on, Luke," Rachel coldly addressed him "It's not about will-power, it's about _the situation_ you're in. Even the toughest of persons can get addicted."

"I don't believe that," Haley spoke again. "**_I_**'d n-"

"Than you're a naive little girl," she icily cut her off; the tone of her voice crushing Haley.

"**What?**" that last one yelled.

"**You heard me!**" she also shouted. "A naive… Little… Girl."

"OK, give me an example then."

"Of what?"

"Of a tough person ruining their memory, self-respect and everything that goes along with self-esteem."

A silence followed as Haley waited for her example.

"Ben," Rachel softly broke the silence. Everyone was mesmerized, gazing at Rachel's up until now unseen fragility. Her head was bowed and she softly bit her lip, seemingly suppressing her tears. Where was the sarcastic skank? "We met when I was fourteen, he was sixteen. He was brilliant: Good grades, excellent guitar player; so, _so_ sweet and well…he was nice to look at too," she laughed sadly. "All of our friends looked up to him; he could've had any girl he wanted…but he picked me and you know, I was surprised someone as special as him could fall in love with someone average like me. I was happy. _We_ were happy, together. But then things just" she shrugged "went wrong. His dad died, his mother seeked comfort in the arms of his father's _best friend_ and he...he..."

"Rachel…" Lucas began.

"He eventually OD'd and died. But that doesn't matter, does it? He was just…" Rachel looked up into Haley's eyes intensely "_weak._ That's what you said, right? He was weak like **I** am just a boyfriend-stealing slut without a past to you."

"I'm s-"

"Sorry." she stood up and ran to her room with tears in her eyes.

"Did you know?" Haley asked her friend, whispering.

"Did _anyone_ know this?" Nathan asked louder.

Everyone shook their head while Peyton rose from her seat to run after Rachel. Suddenly, Mouth's arm cut her off.

"I don't th-"

"Let her through," Jake ordered firmly. Mouth couldn't lower his arm faster.

The blonde knocked the door of Rachel bedroom –the last one in the hall- and softly pushed it open before closing it. Rachel didn't look up; she just cried.

"I'd tell you I'm sorry...but that wouldn't change anything, right?" Peyton spoke.

"What do _you_ care?"

"I know how you feel."

"You don't know _anything_ about me."

"No, I don't…" Peyton gathered her courage "but hey," she raised her hands "ex-junkie here. Coke, LSD, XTC, heroine: been there, done that… Never doing it again," she finished dead-serious.

"What?" Rachel looked up with red eyes. "I didn't know…" she somewhat apologized.

Peyton carefully neared her and went to sit down next to her on the shiny ochre-sheets. "It's hard for everyone involved, isn't it?"

"They found him in some squat," her voice trembled as she spoke. "Not even a goodbye..."

As she broke down and cried, Peyton wrapped her arms around her. "It's OK," she soothed and felt appalled disbelief concerning the company she was travelling with. Lucas had told her Rachel had been a part of their clique for nine months now, since she moved to Tree Hill. Yet none of them knew about this. The blonde held onto Rachel for at least forty minutes until the girl calmed down.

"Sorry," she apologized when her tears were all finished. She wiped the moist off her face and straightened her body "I didn't mean for this to happen; this outburst…"

"It's OK," Peyton reassured her. "You know, maybe you can talk to Jake about it sometime."

"We'll see," she hesitantly responded.

They shared faint smiles before a short silence confronted them.

"Peyton…If you don't mind me asking," Rachel then began. "Who here besides Jake knows about, you know…-"

"Just you," she honestly answered. "Well off course Brooke knows too but nobody else."

"Oh, OK."

A longer silence than before rushed into the room as the two girls just sat next to each other, letting each other's revealed secrets sink in.

"So what's going on between you and Lucas?" Rachel eventually touched the silence.

"What? Why? Nothing," the blonde quickly answered.

"Come on," the redhead answered. "The pining, tortured stares, his jealousy about Jake and that 'I-need-to-have-you-now' - kiss," she explained her suspicions. "You must be blind not to see it."

Peyton simply gazed at Rachel for a moment and realized there was no denying: this girl was no Bevin; the intelligence and determination shun through in her deep-brown eyes.

"Oh…" the blonde groaned "Is it really that obvious?"

"Sorry," Rachel shrugged.

Then Peyton bowed her head ashamed. "You must think I'm horrible now."

"I don't you're horrible. You're just in love."

Off course Rachel didn't think she was horrible; she didn't know she actually _slept_ with Lucas.

"Come here," Rachel then added and threw her arm around the curly girl's shoulder.

"I think you're the one comforting me now," Peyton said half-smiling. "But nothing will happen between us a-" she quickly shut up; Rachel didn't know and Peyton would like to keep it that way. It didn't matter anymore anyway. "Nothing will happen between us. I'm with Jake."

"Break up with Jake. You're not a prisoner."

"It isn't that easy. Besides…Lucas doesn't know. About, you know…"

"Oh."

"And he's narrow-minded," she referred to his opinion earlier.

"No…He is an amazing guy; he just doesn't know what truly matters yet," Rachel shook her head. "All of them, even Lucas with his dad and all, they have such a…" she searched for the right words "an _easy_ life, you know? Well, not _easy_ but I mean, ummm…They haven't, they haven't -"

"Lost a loved one?"

"Yeah," she shook her red locks.

"I know what you mean. Once you've experienced that, everything else seems so…"

"Meaningless."

"Yeah," Peyton nodded. "Ugh…Life's a bitch," she sighed out and went to lay down on her back. Rachel followed her example.

"Plus," the redhead continued "they've lived in Farmer's Village all their lives. The only time they've come in contact with drugs is _on TV_, _y'all_."

The blonde smiled.

"You know what, Rachel?" she turned her head "I think you're my favourite out of the bunch."

"Except for Lucas then," she teased.

The blonde grumbled before putting her hands in front of her eyes. "This is so bad," she sighed "I've really fallen for him. I love my cousin's boyfriend. How messed up is that?"

"Pretty messed up."

x

It was about three PM as a light switched on downstairs in the kitchen. Leaning against the sink, Peyton began to nibble on a brownie until she suddenly had the luminous idea of making hot coco from scratch. In the middle of the night. So she took a pan and began heating milk. As she broke the chocolate, she put a few pieces in her mouth.

"Hi."

Peyton gasped loudly and turned around. Lucas. "Oh, god," she began. Her hand flew in front of her mouth and she began to run her tongue over her teeth seeing chunks of chocolate between them weren't really attractive. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry," he chuckled and walked up to the blonde before taking a glass out of the cupboard and filling it with milk. Then he just stared at her. It isn't like he was sex-crazed or something but he couldn't help but notice she wasn't wearing a bra. Her white top was very light; he could see every curve. Her deep-red shorts were miniscule and clung onto her body.

Desperately, Peyton fixed her eyes on the now brown-colouring fluid. Lucas didn't have a shirt on, just dark-green boxers and… you could definitely see he was a basketball player. Those muscled arms, the abs….

"Why are you awake?" she asked, stirring the milk.

"You."

"Well, I was hungry."

"No, you asked my why I was awake. I was thinking about you."

"Luke…" She turned her head to give the same speech and he knew it. Quickly, he kissed her full lips and felt them open under his almost immediately. Without further hesitation, he then roughly pressed her against his body even more. The wooden spoon she had been stirring with fell out of her hands, which instead wrapped around his neck. Then, they kissed as long as they didn't need air.

"You taste like chocolate," he simply said when they pulled back. Lucas had his arms around her waist while hers still rested around his neck.

For a moment, Peyton didn't know what to say. Their partners were upstairs, sleeping and he had kissed her; she had kissed back. They were bad people! They should think deeply about what they had just done but instead, he was smacking surprised like Donald –freaking- Duck.

"Well, you taste like milk," she eventually fired back.

Lucas looked down into her eyes amused and slid his fingers in her golden hair.

"Watch out," Peyton warned when he was about to thrown the pan off the fire in his eagerness to lift her body.

In less than two seconds, he turned off the fire and took of the pan. Then he placed her on the sink before again crashing his mouth into hers. Her emeralds closed as he buried his lips in her neck and she threw her head back._ I give up_; the blonde thought and wrapped her legs tightly around his torso. Her hands cupped his face and she left a trail of kisses from his ear to his mouth; his hand disappeared under the loose fabric of her top.

Without leaving her lips, he lifted her again and brought her to a room where Rachel had forbid them to go: her father's work place. Against the wall stood a big, night-blue couch and he flung her down on it before covering her body with his. She couldn't believe they were doing this. Their partners were upstairs, sleeping, for God's sake! She felt Lucas touching her body everywhere, kissing her, whispering almost incomprehensible words as 'beautiful' , 'perfect' and 'love' against her skin and suddenly felt suffocated.

Her memory brought her back a couple of years, to when she had been lying between needles and other addicts, in some dump. The image jumped to Jake, who had taken care for her and eventually to Brooke, who had gazed at her so protruding a couple hours ago. A menacing voice kept echoing in her head: "He isn't in love with you, Peyton, but with an image of perfection. You wouldn't live up to his expectations".

"You don't know," she then pushed him away from her body. "**You don't know.**"

"Know what?" he asked bewildered as she put on her top again.

"It's nothing." She gazed into his crystal-blues. "This is nothing."

He could've let her leave with that, but as she walked towards the door, he slid in front of her to notice she had begun to cry. Softly, he led her against his chest and kissed her curls as hot tears fell on his bare chest.

"Why are you so good to me?" she asked while drying her eyes.

"Because I love you."

"That's impossible. We've known each other a week."

"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy, it is disposition alone."

Lightly sniffling, Peyton pulled back. "What?"

"Jane Austen," he smiled and when she laughed at his geekiness, he cupped her face. "It means that while some people need years to love each other, others can in days."

_If only you knew_, she kept thinking. Now would've been the perfect time to confess, be honest, but she simply couldn't. She was in love with him and the thought of that adoring look in his water-blues disappearing was agonizing. So she sunk her hand into his blonde hair and softly captured his lips. Lucas locked the door.

While their eyes darkened with each touch and kiss; he led Peyton to the night-blue velvet again. There, he buried his mouth in his neck, moving all the way down to kiss her tummy until she cupped his head and made Lucas move up to face her. She connected their lips in a soft, almost feathery kiss. When they broke apart again, her emeralds gazed intensly in his crystal blues.

"Make love to me."

x

Over the years, Peyton had heard thousands of songs have about love and relationships. Yet only one of those fit them perfectly. _They __Stood up for Love._ Sounds romantic, doesn't it? But it isn't. Actually, Peyton had always thought that song glorified one of the finest examples of low or no morality.

Cheating.

She gazed at her right, where Jake was sleeping tightly. She had silently crawled back in bed with him about an hour ago, like a thief in the night. Once, she had been an innocent little daddy's girl. Now an ex-junkie, a stranger to her own father, a liar to Lucas, a betrayer to Brooke and a cheater to Jake.

Was this supposed to be life? Rushing towards your eventual demise? What about her values? Her morals?

Did she care?

Peyton closed her hazel eyes and thought about Jake and Brooke. Their images soon vanished. Instead, she thought about the passion between her and Lucas. She relived the adrenaline rush and the explosions of energy they had exchanged through their connected bodies. In less than a week, they had created their own world. It was intense, succumbing, exciting and both of them had given in to it, in the _worst_… _possible_… ways.

Did she care?

The answer should've been 'yes'. But it wasn't.

* * *

Jake OOC? No...lol. So, I know I use metres but I'm from Europe and too lazy to convert metres to inches/feet lol. Anyway, you know the 'drill': tell me what you think ;) 


	5. Like A Hobo in The Snow

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed. You guys are amazing and keep me motivated to write. :) I hope you enjoy this next one! BTW, is anyone else having trouble with their alerts? Grrr...it annoys me.

* * *

5. Like A Hobo in The Snow

The floor was covered in dark parquet while the walls were painted in a deep burgundy -almost brown- shade. On the wooden, varnished desk rested an antique lamp, an Apple laptop plus everything that comes with a computer and a stone pen holder. Behind the worktable stood a black leather chair while at the right flank of the blue couch -intended for business partners- Mr. Gattina had put an unique-looking plant: the Jathropa. Conclusion? The area oozed calmness and labor and everything in here seemed to fit perfectly within the idea of a peaceful work place.

Everything, except the half-naked boy and girl. It had been six days since they had first thrown their bodies on the blue couch and every night, except for yesterday, these two had continued invading the restful space. At this moment, the boy lay a bit higher than the girl, with his arms wrapped tightly around her slender body while the girl kept staring at the Jathropa.

"That must be…" she began mesmerized "the ugliest plant I've ever seen."

The boy smilingly buried his face into her golden hair until she turned around. Three more days before they'd go home, before they could end this show they had to play by day.

"Don't you think that's the ugliest plant ever?" she asked.

He straightened his body a bit to lean on his elbow and took a look at the object of her disgust. Then he gazed down at her. Four nights ago, he had explained how five-year old him had exactly felt when he had seen the father who didn't want him play basket ball with his brother. His explanation had taken more than an hour but she had listened attentively the whole time.

The point is that all his life, he had been told he was different, _weird_, and after a while, he had begun to believe it because how hard he tried to express himself, how hard others tried to see through him, he remained an incomprehensible mystery to all. But this girl here...she understood him, totally and completely. He knew he had found what they call in cheesy teenage soaps a _soulmate_.

Instead of answering her question concerning the desert oddity, he bowed over and softly brushed his nose against hers. Answering his touch, she cupped his cheek and stroked his skin with her thumb. Her hand moved upwards, sinking into his sand-blonde hair before she pulled him into a deep kiss. Eventually, they broke apart with a feathery kiss. "I'm happy, Peyt," he said. "You make me happy." Then he descended to lay his head on her chest; his body wrapped around her waist and legs.

"I can't wait to have you in New York." She softly bit her lip, her fingers running through his hair.

"I can't wait to have you serve me. 'Rauwolf', wasn't it? Waitress _Peyton_. And when I don't get my drink soon enough, I'll go complain w-"

"Dude, shut up," the blonde scoffed while tapping the top of Lucas' head. "This is what I have to do to be able to buy a thousand records a month. And besides, I'm not a _waitress_, I'm a _barista_."

When Peyton got a part-time job at _Rauwolf _-named after the German physician Leonhard Rauwolf, who gave one of the first descriptions of coffee- about a year ago, it had been a small, not all too successful coffeehouse. Now it was an established value among New Yorkian coffee-lovers.

"Come on, Peyt," he objected. "We both know 'barista' is just a fancy word for 'cappucino girl'."

"Your not being nice," she pouted.

"Hey, do you have a uniform?" Lucas asked excited. "Like Jennifer Aniston had in _Friends_?"

"Luke!"

"Sorry." He paused. "But do you?"

"Yes," she sighed. "It attracts pervs like you."

"I'm not a perv..." Lucas mumbled.

For a while, they laid in silence but despite his happiness, Lucas couldn't help but think yet again about how Jake was allowed to do this too. Touch and kiss her. Yesterday, they hadn't been able to meet because of him since he had decided to watch the whole 'The Godfather'- trilogy. It had been an all-nighter so Peyton hadn't had the chance to sneak out. With every second that passed, Lucas grew more and more jealous of her aggressive ass of a boyfriend. Plus, Peyton actually didn't do much to stop Jake from groping her while lately, he himself brushed Brooke off time and time again.

"We need a sheet," Peyton announced a bit later, lightly running her fingers through his hair. "Can you bring one next time?"

"Why? It's summer."

"Because I feel naked."

"That's because you're in your underwear."

"Luke..." she whined.

"Peyton, how would you want me to explain to Brooke there are sheets missing? She's already going all Sherlock Holmes on me. Why don't you just take one of yours?"

When he looked up at her, Peyton pouted.

Lucas heaved a sigh. "I'll bring one tomorrow," he gave in. "But Peyt, would you do the same for me? If I were to ask you for a sheet?"

"OK," she began and went to sit straight; Lucas followed. "What's this about?"

"Jake," he answered immediately. "And Brooke."

"I know b-"

"No, not like that...It's just that I've told you a million times I'm going break up with Brooke for you. But you never even _mentioned_ breaking up with Jake."

"It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

Peyton thought about what she could say.

Option one: 'Well, Lucas, because I owe him my life. Ever seen 'Trainspotting'? I could've been one of those screw-ups. Perhaps I could've joined the cast as Ewan McGregor's girlfriend. Once, I woke up in some dump to see some guy I had never seen before had choked in his own vomit. Heroine, huh? Kind of messes you up. Plus, it's not because I've never known any people who have what we have, that I don't love Jake. He's been the most important part of my life for the past two years; I can't just dump him.'

She chose option two. "Because..."

"Peyton," he tried to preserve his calmness. "I'm ending things with Brooke soon...and I need to know you'll be there."

"I will be," she answered. "But I just need some time, OK? I'm not ready."

"OK," Lucas began. "If you need time, I'll give it to you. I'll wait. Just don't be too long."

"I won't..."

Peyton shot him an apologizing smile, which Lucas answered with a sigh. He just wanted to fast forward to the day he could call her _his_ girlfriend.

"Promise," the blonde reassured him, resting her hand on his face. They kissed each other once before going back to their original position where they lay calmly. That was, until Lucas who was leaving invisible fingerprints on her skin, suddenly noticed something in the partition between her lower and upper arm. Vague marks. Curiously, he moved his thumb over them but not very long: in a tenth of a second, Peyton pulled her arm away.

"What are those?" Lucas asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," she lied. Just as he was about to protest, Peyton led his lips to hers and kissed him as long as she could.

"I love you," the blonde said after pulling back. It was the first time she told him she loved him and the declaration couldn't have been truer yet it didn't feel good: she wished she had said it under other circumstances and not simply to remove his attention from her needle marks.

"I love you too."

She gazed into his adoring blues and decided in that moment she wasn't going to tell him about her drug history. She'd make up something for those marks; that couldn't be too hard. Why would she ruin this happiness and let her past rule her present?

x

Despite her nightly activities, Peyton always woke up quite early in the morning here. In New York, she could easily sleep through the usual city noise until twelve o'clock but here, the singing of birds and similar nature sounds never failed to awaken her. Just as she poured herself a cup of coffee, a figure wearing a white tank top and loose dark-blue pajama pants stumbled down the stairs.

"Good morning," Rachel gawped.

"Good morning." Peyton cheerfully held up the blue coffeepot. "Coffee?"

"Yes please," she responded and went to sit down at the wooden, round table. The past days, Rachel had been attached to the hip with her. They talked about everything, from their screwed up pasts to the latest film they had seen. Actually, they had a lot in common. For example, they were both sarcasm-breathing beauties with a music-obsession and had a hard time letting people in.

"Here you go."

"Thanks," the redhead accepted the cup.

While Rachel shook the remains of her sleep off with heavy yawns, Peyton went to get her toast. Opening the cupboards, she saw a jar of golden honey on one of the racks. It reminded her of her mother. In Peyton's Pooh faze, Anna had read her all the Christopher Robin tales and when the little blonde had decided her favorite food was the same as Winnie now, she had run to the grocery at once.

However, since Anna had passed away, Peyton had never thought of touching the sticky stuff again. Up until now. She felt something in her had changed these last couple of days. Walking back to her seat with the jar clutched between her hands she hummed: "_...you'll find the enchanted neighborhood, of Chris-toph-er's childhood days..._"

"It's a while since I've eaten honey," Peyton announced with childlike excitement, screwing the red-with-white-squares lid off.

"So Peyton," Rachel began. "I know this is a holiday and all but...I've got a few _chores_ today and I was wondering if you'd like to help me."

"Sure. What kinds of chores?"

"Ummmm, I don't know... What about..." the redhead pretended to be in deep thought "I know! What about disinfecting dad's couch you and Lucas had sex on the past nights?"

If she wouldn't have swallowed the piece of honey-bread already, she would've sure choked in it. "**What?**"

Calmly, Rachel pulled red boxer shorts out of her pocket and let them dangle off her finger.

"Uh...Interesting theory, Detective Gattina but last time I checked... I'm not a guy'," the blonde denied her accusations.

"These are Lucas'," the redhead continued, not paying any attention to Peyton's defensive mocking. "I was there when he got them from Brooke for his birthday."

"So Lucas _was_ there. But with _Brooke_, not me."

"Oh? You're right, that's possible." Rachel looked over her shoulder, at the door opening Jake and Lucas had pushed each other through a couple of days ago. "Let's ask her. Brooke! Brookie!! Wake u-uuu-"

"Give me those," Peyton cut her off, yanking the boxers out of her hand. "Where did you find them? I looked for them every where."

"They were lying behind that ugly plant."

She sighed and ripped her eyes away from the underwear. "Think I'm horrible already?"

"I'd have liked it if you told me b- "

"I'm sorry but you know, I thought the lesser people know the better."

"It's alright, I understand but what I wanted to say is that I don't judge," Rachel continued. "It's not my style."

"Can't you judge this one time? Just a little?"

"Why?" She asked non-understanding; scrunching her nose.

"Because..." the blonde paused "I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I hardly care. Is that normal, you think? I'd just like to feel guilty and know that I still have a human bone in my body."

"Are you sure?"

"Please."

"Look. I don't really care about what Lucas and Brooke. They're the norm, a cute high school couple with too much drama. You and Jake on the other hand...You guys have gone through so much together and he seems to really love you. You have been together for what? Two years?"

"Yes."

"Well...All I'm advicing you to do is ask yourself if Lucas is really worth your relationship."

x

_One day later..._

Today was a relaxing day without any Death rides or, like yesterday, canoeing. Downstairs, the guys were gathered around the grill for the barbecue tonight and in the neighboring room -completely in cliché-mode- the girls were reading magazines together. Except for Brooke, who hadn't shown her face all day but had locked herself in her room with the message she felt a bit sick. Everyone who knocked on her door was chased away, also Lucas.

Anyway, after hundreds and hundreds of pages of make-up tips, Peyton asked Rachel if she could borrow her Forty Licks CD. The redhead nodded and Peyton disappeared upstairs. However, walking through the hall, a sudden figure grabbed her arm and pinned her against a wide pillar.

"Luke..." Peyton objected. "They'll see us."

"Not from this angle," Lucas – already kissing the skin behind her ear- replied. Peyton couldn't help but giggle, although she didn't know it was because she found this exciting or just plain nerve-wrecking.

Downstairs, Haley turned the page of her Cosmo to stumble upon an article about orgasms. It wasn't just text; it was like a second Kamasutra! Interesting…The brunette sunk deeper in the couch and briefly looked up from the magazine to make sure no one was paying attention to her. However, as her eyes roamed the girls, they suddenly fell on two blonde heads. They were upstairs by a pillar, giggling and kissing.

"Oh, my God," she gasped out silently yet loud enough to hear.

"What?" Bevin asked and began to turn her head, following her gaze.

"Orgasms!" Haley then shouted.

"**_What?_**"

"This article about... _Orgasms_. I didn't know all these moves existed.

"I did." Bevin replied. "Me and Sk-"

"OK," Haley stopped her. "I don't need to know that. I'm just going to ummm..." she looked for an excuse to run upstairs and then held up the magazine. "Try this out."

Bevin leaned back in her seat while Haley fiercely climbed the huge, wooden stairs. Once up, her eyes scanned the pillars, her brain highlighting the blonde targets, who were so caught up in the act that they didn't even _notice_ the approaching Terminator.

"I...go..." Peyton mumbled before he again crashed her mouth into his. She rested her hand shortly on his cheek before she pulled away. However, swinging her body away from him, Lucas took her hand and spun her body into his. "Tonight, Luke..." she managed to say while his lips brushed the skin in her neck. When his mouth crashed into hers variable softly and fiery, she couldn't follow her own orders and kept kissing back.

Suddenly, Lucas saw a figure glaring at them in the corner of his eye. Roughly, he pulled his hand away from under her top as if her skin was a broiling stove and pushed her away.

"Luke, what the h..."

_Haley_.

Just like Peyton, Lucas seemed completely bewildered and unsure of what to do now. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen his friend so pissed off. She was breathing fire. Without saying a word, the brunette raised both hands, grabbed them by their ear and dragged them into the nearest room where she practically _threw_ the blondes. After quietly shutting the door, she briefly paced in front of the two, who gazed at her with a mixture of anticipation, guilt and that 'woops-I-got-busted-what-now?" - glance in their eyes.

"What were you thinking?" she eventually began, placing the tips of her fingers on her head non-understanding. "When you guys kept staring at each other like two love-struck fools, I kept my mouth shut; when you changed Spin the Bottle into Opportunity to Push Tongue Down Throat , I kept my mouth shut; when you held hands even though your partners where right next to you, I _still_ kept my mouth shut...But you've crossed a line here!"

"H-" Lucas tried.

"You didn't just _cross_ it," she cut him off. ''Here's the line," she flattened her hand "And this," the brunette raised her other hand as high as she could "is how much you two have crossed it. What if Brooke would've seen that? Or Jake?"

"You're right," Peyton answered. "They deserve to know. And they will. But until we tell them, could you please just..."

"Keep this to yourself?" Lucas finished her sentence.

For a moment, the brunette didn't know what to say.

"You're asking me to lie?"

"No, I'm asking you not to mention what you've seen," Lucas said and gave an additional push when he saw her posture softening. "_Please_?"

He gave her his best puppy eyes; he knew his friend could never resist those. No one could, really. Eyes are the mirror of your soul and Lucas' ones were the best example of that; they carried all his emotions.

"OK," she sighed out.

"**Haley!**" a panting voice suddenly barged in. When Nathan had asked Bevin where Haley was, she had told him she was upstairs, trying to get an orgasm and the brown-haired boy couldn't have run up faster. "I'm ready..."

x

The tall flames flickered in the foreground of the twilight. Next to the long, white candles; dirty plates, empty bottles of whine and remains of half-carbonized meat graced the garden table. All during dinner and despite the unfortunate event of Haley catching them, Lucas and Peyton couldn't keep their eyes off each other and for once, Jake didn't notice: he was giving Mouth a 'how-to-be-intimidating-in-five-steps' - crash course.

Brooke on the other hand, **did** notice the tension between the two. This night, when she had woken up and noticed the empty spot next to her, and saw that even after an hour, that spot stayed empty, she had crawled out of bed. She had wandered through the whole house, walked every hall and passed ever room until suddenly; she had heard faint noises coming out of the 'forbidden' room. Peaking through the keyhole, she had beheld a naked body, the back half-covered with long, golden curls.

_Peyton._

Since she was on top and kissing the boy she was having sex with, Brooke couldn't immediately see his face. She had had a glimmer of hope: maybe it was Jake. The hope had quickly been crushed: Peyton suddenly threw her head back and it hadn't taken long before she saw her boyfriend's face. That is, before he lowered it to her breast and that's where Brooke stopped watching.

If the door hadn't been locked, she would've probably barged in, just to see the shocked look on their sorry ass faces yet when she had woken up this morning, she had decided to hold her tongue. The brunette hoped he'd maybe be honest, confess and try to convince her of the fact it was a one time, horrible mistake. She had waited all day for that. In vain.

Hence now more than ever, she saw every glance, every smile, every freaking twinkle in Peyton and Lucas eyes. He had never looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes. To drown the jealousy and the sadness, she had drunk at least ten glasses of wine during dinner; the eleventh cradling between her fingers. She turned her head at her boyfriend; her greens attentively holding onto his image. He looked so happy. So _goddamn_ happy. It was time for a confrontation.

"Luke, where were you tonight?" she asked.

"What?"

"Where were you tonight?" Brooke repeated her question. "I woke up...and you weren't there."

"I had probably just gone to the bathroom," he lied.

"For two hours?"

"Maybe he had diarrhea," Bevin interfered.

Brooke and Lucas simultaneously looked over their shoulder with a speechless stare.

"**Bevin!**" Brooke shouted, the alcohol only adding to her anger. "**I'm having a private conversation with my boyfriend so if you could please then also give us that privacy?**"

"Sor-ry," the ditzy blonde replied insulted and turned her attention towards Skills again. In the meanwhile, Lucas' attention had also shifted. He was gazing at Peyton, who was playing with a curl as she spoke to Rachel. Her words briefly staggered when she noticed his staring blues and she almost invisibly smiled.

"**Lucas!**" Brooke cried out. It was the third time she had called him.

"Hmmmm, what?" he absently asked.

"**For God's sake! What do I have to do to get some attention from you?**"

Lucas's head moved along with Brooke, who rose from her chair and then climbed on it to further hop on the table.

"Maybe like this?" she proposed, waving her arms in the air, yelling **'S.O.S.'** !' "Or like this?" Brooke continued her outburst, kicking a glass of wine against the wall with the tip of her Prada heels.

Everyone gazed at the Rosé dripping off the white wall before staring back at the brunette who did this.

"Brooke..." Lucas subtly whispered. "You're drunk. Get off the table and I'll make you some coffee."

"**I don't need a coffee. What I need is a boyfriend who notices me! Who loves me as much as I do him. A boyfriend who doesn't sneak out of bed at night to fuck my cousin!**"

"Wh-"

"**I SAW YOU!**"

A screaming silence followed Brooke's words in which the teenagers either locked eyes shocked or looked away. Jake slowly moved his gaze from the brunette to his girlfriend. Her head was bowed. However, instead of storming off or calling Peyton a filthy whore, he pointed his attention at Lucas, who was still looking at Brooke perplexed.

"I'm going to kill you," Jake hissed between his teeth.

"Jake!" Peyton yelled as he flew across the table to attack Lucas.

In his flight, Jake had taken the table-cloth with him, causing Brooke to fall next to it, on the cold grass. She was immediately taken care off by Bevin and Haley and with tears in her eyes, the brunette watched how they fought over Peyton yet again. How could this be? She had jumped on a freaking table, fallen of it and still everything was about _Peyton_. Determined, she stepped away from Haley and Bevin to stop in front of the two fighting boys. There, she waited until Lucas was on top of him. Finally, he got the upper hand and Brooke's hand disappeared in his blonde hair, pulling it fiercely.

"**Look at me!**" she yelled. "**Look at ME!!!**"

He and Jake freed themselves from each other's grip and both looked at her, Lucas holding his hair perplexed.

"**I'm your girlfriend, Luke; we've been together for half a year now. Doesn't that mean ANYTHING to you?**"

Everyone beheld the spectacle, withholding their breaths.

"**And I know that I might be shallow at times, but I try. I try to get through to you...**" she continued, sobbing and screaming at the same time **"Because I_ love_ you. I gave you my heart and you're giving it up for...For a pessimistic, morbid junkie with the mental stability of a four year old."**

"What?" Lucas now dared to speak. What the hell was she talking about?

"You don't know... Do you?" A cold chuckle fell off Brooke's .lips when she saw his startled eyes. "Quite the shock, right? Your perfect girl...nothing more than a low-life addict. All those needles she went through but_ hey_, luckily for you she never caught aids. You're a complete joke..." the brunette now addressed Peyton.

Lucas turned his head at Peyton too, looking straight into her glazy emeralds. She faintly shook her head; apologizing for what she once was. Eventually, Lucas ripped his non-believing eyes away from her, stood up and left the garden. Jake's eyes also spoke of disbelief and even hints of disgust as he threw a short look at her before storming off. One by one, the teenagers still remaining at the table trickled. Rachel did ask her if she should stay but Peyton refused; she wanted to be alone.

Beaten, the blonde buried her head into her hands until she sensed someone staring at her. Looking up, her eyes first fell on the white candle, which had almost completely melted away. On the wick danced a little, surviving flame. Behind it stood Lucas. She stared into his eyes, which seemed so cold right now.

"I...I-"

"Don't," he cut her off. "Don't give me stupid excuses and meaningless apologies. In fact... Don't talk to me at all."

In his whole life, Lucas had never been as disappointed in anyone as in her. She was supposed to be ideal. Sure, the fact that she used to be addicted didn't quite fit in the picture perfect of her either, but it was her lying that bothered him the most. He was madly, truly, deeply in love with her but now he felt betrayed. He had spilled his _heart _out to her, told her** all **his secrets, his fears and concerns, while she had just kept him in the dark.

"I don't even know why I came out here," he continued bitterly. "I can't even stand to _look _at you right now."

He held his eyes on her for a brief moment and then turned around to disappear in the house again.

Peyton broke into tears but before she clenched her teeth, curled her hand into a fist and hit the table furiously. What an asshole! How could he just leave her like that? After she had told him about her fear of abandonment time and time again? He had told her he loved her and then he just...threw her away like garbage. Because she was flawed. Because she had a past.

She had simply been living in a dream, hadn't she? If she had, it was sure reduced to ashes now. Four people torn down because of one fatal attraction.

x

It was around six in the morning. Dog-tired, Peyton rubbed her eyes. Not because she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened but because Jake hadn't been there. His shoes and coat were gone. The guilt was unbearable: how could she have treated him like this? The one person who had never left her; who loved her, _everything_ of her, despite and with mistakes? And _God knows_ where he was now. Suddenly, the door clicked and when it had fully opened, Peyton saw the brown-haired man she had been waiting for, looking as exhausted as her. She watched him in silence as he kneeled down to drag the suitcase from under the bed.

"Where have you been?" the blonde then spoke.

"Nowhere."

"What have you done?"

"Thinking."

"About?"

"Us."

A short silence rushed in.

"And?" Peyton then carefully asked.

"I'm many things but a hypocrite isn't one of them. I won't throw us away for a one-week adventure. That is, if you won't," he added that last one bitterly; his voice trembling to keep his anger under control.

"What?" she scowled.

"Look. When I told you about Nikki, I wasn't honest."

She bit her lip with a furrow in her brow. "How long exactly?"

"Six months."

They fell into another silence. Peyton bowed her head. It had hurt immensly when he had told her about his affaire half a year ago because Nikki...Nikki wasn't just sex. It had been love. Peyton knew it still was. The gorgeous brunette and Jake had grown up together and split up merely two months before Jake fell in love with her. It was hard to hear now he hadn't been honest in confessing in the first place and that their secret relationship had gone on two months longer than she had suspected. Then again, she realized she was in no position to be pissed off now.

"So you'd just forgive me?" the blonde spoke. "By-gones?"

"It'll take a while for me to trust you again..." he replied vexed, randomly throwing pants and shirts in his suitcase. "But _yes_, I would."

"You're not leaving me?"

"No."

"Why not?" she asked with a small voice.

"**The same reason I didn't walk away from you when you practically _ate _drugs!" **he shouted irritated beyond belief. "**Or why I didn't leave you for Nikki!**"

She paused, thinking. "Why?"

"**Because ****I love you!**"

Peyton stared at Jake's broad back while he closed his suitcase. "I love you too," she softly said. "And if I could take it back, what I did...I would." She shortly paused. "But I can't and I'm so, _so_ sorry about that."

Briefly, he stopped packing to continue a mere second later. "I've called a cab," he announced calmer. "It should come in an hour but off course, in this shit-hole you never know...Anyway, I want you to come back to New York with me right now. If you don't, we're over. If you do, I need you to immediately pack your bags, leave and never look back. We'll pick up our lives and this will be nothing more than a bad dream. We'll start over. A clean slate."

Thinking deeply, she unwarily began to bite her thumb nail, her eyes fixed on her feet. Could she just leave Lucas without saying goodbye? Without anything? Despite what had happened, she couldn't help but love him. Like she couldn't help doubting her own words when she just there said she would take 'them' back. Her feelings for him were stronger than she wanted them to be. Stronger than herself. What if he still felt the same? Maybe he'd soon realize he had been too harsh or maybe even, he had already come around by now or _maybe..._

Maybe she should just accept that he's just another disappointment in a string of many. _Another_ person who she loved who left her. _Another_ black chapter in the even blacker story of her life. Through to the obscurity of her existence, there was just one beaken of light that had come to lighten up the dark.

_Jake._

She loved him and the idea of losing him; the risk of going back into complete darkness for someone as uncertain as Lucas, was unthinkable. She simply couldn't do that. Peyton tore her emeralds away from the ground to look up into Jake's awaiting browns.

"OK."

A bit more than an hour later, Peyton quietly closed the door of the cabin behind her.

* * *

About my story and chapter titles: 

- _Masters in Every Time_: sung in a lyric of **They Stood Up for Love - Live **

- _Expresso Love_: title of a song of the **Dire Straits**

_- Hey! It's Romeo_ and _Through The Bars of A Rhyme_: sung in lyrics of **Romeo and Juliette - Dire Straits... **This is my favorite song of the moment! All go d/l it! ;)

- _Nightly Chocolate Milk_: I invented this one all by myself which probably explains why it's the lamest ;p

- _Like A Hobo in The Snow_: sung in a lyric of **How You Gonna See Me Now - Alice Cooper...** BTW, did you ever see the vid for this? It's wacky as hell, I love it! You know Alice Cooper's real name is Vincent Furnier and that the real Alice Cooper was actually a 17th century witch? Interesting, huh? No? I think I'm going to shut up now lol)

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	6. White Lies,Wounding Eyes & Swift Cruelty

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I always look forward to reading your thoughts. Lucas has S1 hair in this story BTW ;) Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

6. White Lies, Wounding Eyes and Swift Cruelty

Rachel tapped the door with her knuckles. Once. Twice. No answer. Since Peyton had left a week ago, Lucas had been living like a vampire. The curtains in his room were shut at all times, causing his eyes to slowly adapt to darkness. Haley, Nathan, Skills, Mouth…all had tried to cheer him up but without success. So when Rachel had confessed a couple of hours ago Peyton had been keeping in contact with her, all had forced the redhead to go see Lucas at once, wondering why _in God's name_ she hadn't told this before. It was time she and Lucas began to bond anyway: in a couple of days, she'd be sharing a three-bedroom flat with him, Nathan and Haley in Manhattan.

Through his amazing basketball talent, excellent accomplishments and Dan's money, Nathan had been accepted into Colombia University. He could've also gone to Duke but Haley -as well as Rachel- was going to study to become a doctor at the ' Sophie Davis School of Biomedical Education' and his brother was going to attend NYU so he just decided to follow them.

Since Brooke was also going to New York, to indulge in her passion for clothes at the Fashion Institute of Technology, Lucas had suggested a couple of days after graduation that also _she_ would move in with them. Those plans had been thrown out of the window from the moment he gave her up for Peyton off course. She had told her clique last night she hadn't want to rent **one **flat with **five** people in the first place and that her dad had bought her a condo with amazing view.

Rachel had briefly thought about backing out too but _one_, it was very convenient and_ two_, they could pretend nothing had happened. That her confession had never had place. Up until now, they had all done that, except for Lucas. She had dropped by his place earlier this week, and then he had found a hole in his busy schedule of depression and brooding to apologize to her. Upon the apology, he had turned his back at her, muttered something about 'Peyton' and 'drugs' and 'leave' and had further ordered Rachel to get out.

"Go away," an irritated voice sounded.

Rachel didn't listen and opened the door. "Hi," she greeted softly.

Damn, he looked bad. His face was deadly-pale, except for the dark circles under his dull blue eyes and the noticeable red vanes in them. Plus, to tell the truth, he didn't smell too flowery either. When was the last time he had bathed? Lucas' eyes slowly tore themselves away from the television, to the redhead, who didn't immediately know what to say so instead smiled sympathetically and glanced at the TV. Gone with the Wind. A frown crept into her brows. He was watching the trials and tribulations in the depressing life of Scarlett O'Hara? Huh? Guys don't watch tearjerker-films like this, girls do.

"Gone with the Wind?" Rachel questioned.

He groaned, which she took as an affirmation.

"Oh."

"He leaves her in the end, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

She took a seat in his computer chair.

"He thought she didn't want him."

An uncomfortable-feeling Rachel gazed at the pile of misery in front of her silently.

"I've been…ummm; I…" she then carefully began "Peyton has been keeping in touch with me."

For the first time in her visit, Lucas showed a true sign of life: he went to sit up straight.

"What?" he asked.

"She called me two days after she left. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but she didn't w-"

"What did she say?" He didn't care about keeping up appearances and act indifferent. With his cold words, he had only wanted to make Peyton see she had to be open with him. His strategy had failed horribly and now she was gone. Why did he have to insist on being so emotionally complex? Couldn't he have just said something like: 'I don't care. I love you. Now let's have sex.'?

"You hurt her," Rachel simply answered.

"I just wanted her to be **honest**," he spoke heated. "I didn't know she was going to pull a Ben Johnson on me."

Rachel cocked her head thoughtful. "Who's Ben Johnson?"

"A sprinter," Lucas answered with a pout. "He ran hundred meters in nine-point-seventy nine seconds."

"Oh." The redhead nodded impressed. "Anyway," she pointed her attention back on the subject "what I don't understand is why you were so harsh. An addiction is something you have to live with every day. It's hard, you know. You shouldn't have treated her the way you did."

"I know," he sighed. "But I'm in love with her and…And it just hurt to know she had been lying to me about something so important."

"She was afraid to lose you."

"I know that now and to tell the truth, I was a bit scared off by it but now, I don't care. About her past… I just want to be in her future." He paused. "But she was gone before I could tell her that. She left! With _Jake_..."

"He gave her an ultimatum," Rachel confessed.

"What, him or me?"

"She was angry with you at the time. Look..." She took a deep breath. "I haven't known Peyton for very long but judging from the time that I did spend with her, I know she's not the type to cheat. And I truly believe she loves Jake but I..."

"Yes?"

"I think she loves you more than him, which is -by the way- beyond me. You guys have known each other a couple of weeks. I mean, how c-"

"Rachel!"

She sighed. "But I hear it in her voice, when she talks about you or him…there's a difference. So when you said to her you couldn't even look at h-"

"She told you that?"

"Yes," Rachel confirmed. "I mean, why would you do that?"

For a moment, he didn't know what to say. Peyton Sawyer…The name sounded like the top of the Mount Everest. How on earth was he going to get there with this never-ending emotional obstacle track blocking his way? When he had first seen her, he had immediately felt the walls around her. Literally, almost. The seats left and right from her had been empty despite the ant nest the airport had been. Now she must have a _building_ around her.

"I have to win her back," he decided, bowing his blonde head thoughtful.

Seeing the expression on his face to one of determination, Rachel softly bit her lip. This was going to cause trouble."I don't know," she hesitantly objected "Maybe you should just let Peyton tr-"

"Let them try **what**?" he snapped. "Let Peyton try to rebuild her cage of a relationship? She's not happy with him. At least not as happy as I know I can make her."

The redhead sighed. "Do as you please, " Rachel quickly gave up her protest. She wasn't in the mood to get dragged along in this sticky situation. She'd be neutral. "But for God's sake, man, take a shower," she added. "You reek."

x

Eight days later… 

The last boxes had just been emptied; the objects that it used to contain put where they belonged. Rachel had run out of the door at once when her work was finished, to go shopping. Nathan, on the other hand, had been ordered to do groceries by his wife who was momentarily making a schedule with turns concerning for example cooking.

College wouldn't start until end September- beginning October, which meant all students had some worriless time before the stress that undeniably comes with school. All students, except for Lucas and the people around him. Aside from the whole Peyton-issue, there was something else bothering the blonde: his brother and Haley often fought lately and it depressed him to see two people he loved so much, putting each other down.

Currently, Lucas simply sat in their blue couch, thinking. At first, he hadn't bothered Rachel about his love problems but when, after seven days of Peyton not opening her door to eventually find out she didn't even leave there anymore, he had finally turned to the 'neutral' redhead. That one had reluctantly called Peyton to ask if maybe she had moved out of her father's house. It had turned out she simply lived together with Jake now but she had just forgot to call in the rush.

"What are you thinking about?" Haley asked.

"Peyton."

"Shocker," she said in a tedious voice. When was he _not_ thinking about Peyton?

After another ten minutes of thoughtful stares, Lucas stood up and threw his coat on, announcing he'd be back before dinner.

x

Standing in front of the mirror, Peyton took in her own image. It had been a while since she had gone to the hairdresser's and her curls had gotten quite long, covering half of her back. She had drawn a subtle grey line under her eyes, which brought out the green in them and her raspberry balm emphasized her deep-rose petal - colored lips.

Somewhere, she was aware of the fact she held some level of attractiveness but beauty alone wasn't enough. Jake had cheated on her with panda-eye Nikki for half a year and Lucas didn't want her because she had 'the mental stability of a four year old'. Slowly, she pulled the corners of her mouth up into a smile. Not because she was overwhelmed with happiness but because she had too. After all, doesn't every one say that from the moment you can smile or laugh about your misery that you'll pull through? No matter what?

Stepping out of the white-tiled bathroom, she saw Jake painting the living room walls in a deep-red color. "Jake," the blonde gasped out. "Red. I thought you said you hated that color!"

Peyton joined him by the wall surprised.

"I still do," he replied with a troubled face at the wall. "It looks like it looks like someone threw a bucket of blood on my wall. But I know you love it."

She took a few deep breaths to suppress the tears: he had never done something like this. Off course he had done much more important things but with banal stuff like choosing colors or the restaurant they were going to dine at, he usually had the last word.

Even though his gesture touched her, she couldn't help but think about Lucas, who had treated her like a princess from the moment he had laid eyes on her. With every day that passed and every call she refused, she grew to want him even more. When she made the decision of leaving, she hadn't expected this 'clean slate' would be this hard. Yet although she missed _and_ loved Lucas, the idea of an existence without Jake was scary: for the past two years, he had held her hand and guided her through life. Without him, she would surely be lost.

"I have to go work now," she broke the silence; he nodded.

Softly, Peyton placed her hand on his face and turned it her way. "I love you, Jake."

He bowed over and captured her lips. "I love you too."

That wasn't a lie but maybe, just like her beauty, their love wouldn't be enough. Atleast not this time. She could get over Nikki, but she wasn't too sure if she'd get over Lucas.

Fifteen minutes, later, Peyton was in the female staff's changing room. After she had stepped into her dress, nimbly closing her own zipper, the curly girl was now putting her hair up in a ponytail. Her uniform was a black-with-white one and resembled the work outfits maids in the beginning of the nineteenth century had to wear, except for the skirt (which was ridiculously short) and the high, black heels she had to wear.

The blonde had come in through the back door and now stepped into the coffee house with a big smile; excited to see Katherine, a colleague who had actually become somewhat of a friend over the past year. It was a very platonic friendship that didn't go much further than giggling and gossiping but Peyton liked it that way with her. This girl had the power to cheer her up, something little people were able to do.

"Hey, Kath," she greeted upon seeing her. Katherine was the result of an interracial relationship between a black woman and a white man. With her long, straightened black hair, deep-brown eyes and hour-glass shaped body, which Peyton was intensely jealous of, the twenty-year old girl had always reminded Peyton of a younger version of Thandie Newton.

"Hey!" She turned around surprised; immediately pulling her into a hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't be back until Tuesday!"

"Don't ask," the blonde sighed, rolling her eyes. When Katherine gave her nonetheless an asking stare, Peyton added: "Later."

"OK," she accepted. "Anyway," the dark-haired girl changed the subject. "There's this guy in here…" She began, her eyes scanning the tables to see where he was; she couldn't immediately find him so she continued. "I swear when he smiled at me, I had to wave some cool air into my face."

"Excuse me?" Peyton kinked he eyebrow. "Do I need to remind you of Adam, your fiancé?"

"Nothing wrong with looking," she defended herself. "He's just so ho- Oh, there he is!" She pointed to one of the tables more in the back.

"Where?" Peyton looked over her shoulder with a smile. A smile that quickly faded when she saw who her friend was talking about. "Oh, I know him," she almost mumbled. Now that she saw him and thought back about his scorning voice and eyes, she forgot about the aching feeling and almost began to tremble with anger. Fiercely, she walked the table's way to lean on it with one hand, waiting until he'd look up. The irritating thing was that she knew he had noticed her by the faint smirk around his lips; he was just bugging her.

"Hey! Out!"

He calmly put the paper he was reading down.

"Peyt…" he slowly said, looking up in her hazels. "That's no way to speak to a customer. Especially not one you've treated so _badly_."

"Leave."

"No," Lucas simply answered. "I wouldn't want to steal your act. Besides, I'm thirsty."

"Fine then," she hissed and removed her hand from his table. 'What can I get you?"

"Well," he began. "I'll have an apology and a break-up from you with Jake. Preferably in that order."

"You're delusional," the curly blonde said with a cold chuckle before she bowed over to clean the table next to his. "I'm picking up the pieces you left behind and when it's fixed again, my life," she addressed him again, briefly looking up from the by now shiny table she was still passionately rubbing "there'll be no room for you in it anymore. Because I don't _need_ you."

She was trying so hard to scare him off, he found it almost sad. But he was annoyed beyond belief. After all, she had just left without a proper conversation and put them in even deeper shit then they already were. When she walked passed him, Lucas slid his hand around her waist, pulling her on his lap and gazed intensely into her eyes. Stubbornly, Peyton tried to burrow her way out of his arms with complaining sounds leaving her throat, which resulted in him gripping her tighter and closer. When she gave up her struggle, he rested his hand on her thigh and moved his face close to hers.

"Let me go," she ordered.

"You're addicted to chaos," he spoke. "You know why you're not happy? Because you want nor allow yourself to be. I know that because I was the same. All my life, I've felt empty and misunderstood. I knew something was missing; something that would make me complete and that something turned out to be you. Don't get me wrong, you can be difficult, mean and plain _tiring_ and sometimes, I wish Brooke had been the one to fill the void -bubbly and sweet- but she's not. You are. When you're with me like you were that night in the hotel and at the cabin, you give me inner peace and happiness."

Peyton relaxed her wooden-like body a bit and gazed down at him sadly.

"You hurt me by leaving and going back to Jake, by being with him now and by _completely_ ignoring me for the past couple of weeks. It was low," Lucas continued; he saw his words were seeping through: she looked truly sorry. "Now go get me a coffee," he added and removed Peyton from his lap.

Calmly, he picked up his paper again. For a brief moment, she was perplexed but then turned around and disappeared to the bar to get him his coffee. The blonde pulled a cup out of the cupboard under the bar and put it under the coffee machine. She was confused.

"Do I need to remind you of Jake?" Katherine mirrored Peyton. "Your _boyfriend_? What's going on between you and…?" She gave the blonde an expecting stare.

"What?"

"Well, or you've become a slut who lets herself be groped by strangers over these past weeks or you know this guy, which leads me to further think you know his name too."

"His name is Lucas, there's nothing going on between us and he did **not** grope me."

"Did to! His hands were all over your ass!"

She threw Katherine a warning stare, grazed the cup from under the machine, half-filled it with hot milk and shoved it under Lucas' nose.

"That's two do-"

"Oh, nonono…" he cut her off. "I'm going to sit here sipping coffee until you decide you're mature enough to talk about your problems to me instead of running away from them."

"_You_ ran away from my problems, not me."

"Yes," he admitted. "I did run but if you had just stayed a couple of _seconds_ longer, you would've seen I came back."

"Whatever." She retorted weakly. Peyton swung her body away from him but Lucas grabbed her hand.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. "Can't we just... pick up where we left off? I never meant to hurt you."

"Oh, Lucas, that's _bullshit_," she protested. "You are perfectly aware of the way you just _look_ at people can crush them!"

"You lied! I felt betrayed and well, also, a bit shocked," he admitted.

"Look. It's easy: I love Jake and he loves me. We'll get through this," she convinced herself. "We've started over."

"Did I mean that little to you?"

"Maybe he just means more."

"That's a lie," he simply replied. She didn't answer but looked away. "You're pissed off, and acting like...like a spoiled brat with the mental stability of a four-year old."

Peyton's jaw almost invisibly dropped. How could he say this? She narrowed her eyes to splits. "Ouch."

"I have as much right to be angry as you are," Lucas defended his stab. "A fresh start..." he let out a maligning chuckle. "Are you going to tell him then? That I stopped by? Because you'd figure with a fresh start comes honesty, no?"

She stared into his provoking eyes and suddenly felt really uncomfortable. She probably _wouldn't_ tell Jake Lucas came to see her. "I don't have to listen to this crap…" she snapped and pulled her hand back. "Y-"

"You're not happy in that relationship."

"He's there for me! He has _always_ been."

"Is that why you stay with him?"

"I love him."

"Maybe. But you and I both know that is not the reason why you two are still together. You're trying to revive this relationship because it's safe, familiar, _certain_, whatever it is…" he spoke heated. "But it can't _be_ revived because it has been dead and buried a long time ago and you... you're just too pig-headed to see it. We have something special here. I want you to leave him."

Peyton bit her lip. She knew they had something special. "No," she nonetheless firmly answered and turned around to step to the table that had been waving at her for two minutes now.

Lucas sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, was it?

x

Tonight, it had been Rachel's turn to cook hence they were all sitting in the couches around a bunch of empty pizza boxes.

"I found a job," the redhead announced. "It's at Morgan."

"Why do you need a job?" Lucas asked. "You're filthy rich."

"Hey, I'm on a budget," she protested. "If I want to buy Chloe purses, I need to make money."

"I haven't even looked into the paper yet," Nathan said.

"You have Dan's money and you don't need any purses," Lucas said simply. It wasn't meant to sound envious; it was just the truth. When Dan had finally accepted his brilliant basketball player –sorry- _son_'s wife, the money tap had been open again. "So why would you?" Lucas himself would begin at a nearby supermarket tomorrow. His future _there_ would probably be filling up shelves, which isn't exactly glamorous, but it was only a couple hours a day and it'd pay the rent.

Nathan shrugged.

"I've found a job too," Haley then said. "As a waitress at Starbucks."

"That's great, Hales," Lucas smiled.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nathan asked.

"You didn't _ask_."

"Because you didn't tell me you were going!"

"You probably would have tried to stop me from going."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing," she snapped. "I wouldn't expect you to understand me anyway."

"What."

"Just drop it, OK?"

"Why do you need a job anyway?" he ignored her order. "My money is yours too."

"I don't want to be dependant of anyone but myself."

"We're married."

"I'm still an individual!"

"Obviously," Nathan mumbled.

"Speaking of waitresses," Rachel quickly changed the subject. "How did things go with Peyton?"

"Not so good," Lucas answered. "She was very angry at me and…_stubborn_."

"And you're not a pile of sobbing misery right now because...?" Nathan asked.

"Look, I know she still loves me," the blonde answered before a brief, thoughtful glance appeared in his eyes. "I feel it. But Jake, _ugh_. Why can't she just get rid of him once and for all? She's just delaying the inevitable anyway; Peyton's mine and she'll realize that soon enough."

"Excuse me, Casanova?" Haley chuckled unbelieving. "Since when are you so self-confident when it comes to girls?"

"I'm not...I just..." He bowed his head. "I just know Peyton is the One. I feel it in my heart."

Simultaneously, Rachel and Haley put their hands on their heart. "Awww..." the girls sighed out as Nathan rolled his eyes.

"You know, I'm meeting her for lunch tomorrow," the redhead began. "A-"

"She gets lunch, I get death-glares," Lucas relativized

"No, I didn't mean it like that! From now on, I'm team Lucas."

"Opposed to what? Team _Jake_?"

"Opposed to team neutrality."

"You two get along well," Nathan noticed. "You and Peyton."

"She's cool," Rachel confirmed.

"I guess," the brown-haired boy shrugged. He didn't really know her.

"Come on..." Haley rolled her eyes at him "Don't act so indifferent, we all know you've been drooling over her since day one."

"Haley!" he cried out insulted. "What's the matter with you? Why are you being such a big..._pain in the ass _lately?"

"**I'm being a pain in the ass?**"

"**Yes!**"

"**What about you?**"

"**What about me, huh?**" he dared her. **"I do nothing but crawl for you and still you nag so much. You sound like freaking Marge Simpson! "**

**"Marge Simpson?"**

**"Yes! Nag, nag, nag. Whine, whine, whine…It's all you ever DO!"**

**"Oh, kind of like you only ever talk about basketball?"**

**"No, more like you constantly make me feel I'm not good enough to be with you!" **

A screaming silence followed. Nathan gazed at his wife, waiting for her to say _something _while Lucas and Rachel shared a look of discomfort. Haley turned around, ran to her room and shut it with a bang. Nathan's baby-blues looked up into his brother's crystal ones sadly. It had been like this for ten days now, showing no signs of improvement.

x

Rachel closed her wet umbrella and put it in the iron can reserved for it. Then, her browns roamed the little restaurant until they noticed a waving hand. The redhead took a seat across the person under the hand and not long after, the waiter took her order.

"I heard Lucas came to see you at the coffee house," Rachel began the conversation. "He also said you were pretty mean."

"It's not my fault," Peyton defended herself. "He can't just pop out of nowhere; I wasn't prepared."

"But you love him."

"What?"

"You love him."

"Look, Rachel, that doesn't matter," she ignored her accusation.

"Peyton..."

"No, I thought about all of this and I'm doing what I feel is the best for me."

"You say the best, I say the easiest."

Peyton threw her an irritated stare. "Can we please talk about something else now?"

"Sure," Rachel nodded.

After this awkward impasse, they soon began their usual routine of talking about music, movies, boys (other than Lucas and Jake), the amount of food Peyton can eat without gaining weight –right now she was devouring a steak with French fries- and Rachel's jealousy of that until they stumbled upon a more serious subject.

"Really? Those two seemed so in love."

Just now, over her shrimp salad, Rachel had given a big explanation concerning the many fights between Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Scott that often crept their way into random conversations.

"Yeah, well..." Rachel raised her eyebrows "not anymore they don't."

"Weird," the blonde scowled. "Maybe something happened...Anyway," She nodded at the window: the sky had cleared up and sun had come through "what do you think about we continue this over frozen yoghurt?"

"Oh, goodie. Frozen yoghurt, I've never had it before. Very metropolisish."

"Metropolisish?" Peyton chuckled. "I love your words."

x

Disappointed, Rachel poked the pseudo-ice with her plastic spoon. "I could as well be eating ice-cubes," she whined.

"It's low-calories," Peyton reasoned. "You can't expect it to taste like a Dame Noir."

"Now what's that again?"

"It's chocolate ice-cream poured over with chocolate sauce and whipped cream."

"Now, _that_ sounds yummy," the redhead said.

"Ugh," Peyton sighed out. "Give it to me. I'll eat it."

"You're such a pig," she insulted the blonde, who was bringing Rachel's frozen strawberry yoghurt over into her cup. "If I'd eat like you do, I'd be rolling across Manhattan instead of walking."

Peyton laughed.

"So how is it? Living with Jake," Rachel carefully asked.

Peyton's laugh died out.

"It's isn't easy. But we're trying really hard to, you know, to have it back to the way it once was. I love him, Rachel. I really do."

"I know."

"But how is it with you?" the blonde sighed. "Living with two guys?"

"Well, except for the Naley War, I-"

"Naley?"

"Nathan and Haley. Combine it and it's Naley. It's something silly Brooke invented. Anyway," Rachel quickly continued, not in the mood to indulge in a conversation about the brunette "Except for _their_ fights, it's actually kind of fun."

"Really?"

"Yes. No offence, but Nathan is my favorite brother. He can be really witty if he wants too and he has a good heart. Lucas, off course, you turn to when you want to talk about something like Freud's theories of the…" she tried to recall what he had babbled to her about.

"Freud's theories of the unconscious mind," Peyton helped her.

The blonde was head over heels in love with art –from Bernini to Andy Warhol- and music while Lucas, through the train of thoughts from characters in the literature he read, had developed an interest in the complexity of the human mind. Their passions concerning culture lay quite far from each other but nonetheless, they had listened to each other, which had resulted in Peyton buying a book about dream symbolism earlier this week.

"But he's closed," Rachel continued. "And he snores."

"He does, doesn't he?" she smiled amused.

"No joke," the redhead confirmed. "A few nights ago, I was just sitting in the couch, watching my _Sopranos_ and suddenly, I hear this noise and I actually thought some crazy guy was mowing the grass at eleven-thirty. I was like, _what the hell _and went to look through the window."

"Rachel! He doesn't sound like a lawn mower!" she laughed. "More like... the last water flowing away in a bath."

"Which is much, _much_ better," she sarcastically replied.

"You know, it's actually kind of cute. When you try to stop it, by shoving him or something, he begins to complain in his sleep. Also, h-"

"For a girl who wanted to talk about something besides Lucas, you're doing an awful lot of it."

Peyton bowed her head.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you..." Rachel apologized.

"He can't do it anymore, Rach," she seriously said, tapping her spoon on the bottom of her empty cup. "He has to stay away from me; he complicates my life and -trust me- I can do without that."

"I don't see why you just don't get together with him. You guys are crazy about each other but you're letting your pride get away of your happiness. Besides, Lucas won't give up so… _Tough shit_."

She looked up again with the intention of raising her eyebrow at the redhead but froze instantly at the sight about sixty meters in front of her.

"Peyton, what is it?" Rachel asked, following her gaze.

"Nikki..." Peyton mumbled.

"Is she...Is that..."

"Yes," the blonde said and began to march Nikki's way.

"Oh, God," the redhead sighed out. "Peyton, Peyton...!" she shouted when she saw her friend marching away. "I don't think that's a very good idea!"

Peyton didn't listen but headed straight for her target, with Rachel hopping nervously behind her.

* * *

Tell me what you think! 


	7. Be Prepared

A/N: Thanks for the reviews :) I hope you enjoy this next one too (and leave a review :p)

* * *

7. Be Prepared

Peyton's kitchen sink was filled with dirty plates and coffee-stained cups, the living room -as her bedroom- breathed disarray and her bathroom was flooded as if she had never left her fatherly home in the first place. Somewhere amidst the clutter must lay her phone but she wouldn't know where: when Jake wouldn't stop bothering her, she had pulled out the line.

_Before either of them had the chance to speak, she slapped both Jake and Nikki across the face. Enough was enough. She glared at them as if they weren't fit to wipe the shit of her shoes and then further walked away to pack her bags. When Jake came home, she simply blocked out his explanation that went something like 'blablabla, Nikki, yapyapyap, not what you think' accompanied by similar empty words. Their relationship had survived many blows over the years but this one, she decided, would be the last and fatal one. _

Yesterday she had dropped her last ever message or better, _rant,_ on his voicemail which had ended with:

'Goodbye's too good a word, babe, so I'll just say fare thee well.'

The following days she'd dedicated to no one but herself. A cross of freedom and egoism had rushed over her and to be honest, it felt amazing. One of those days, during which she had done nothing but follow her own wants, she had stumbled upon a documentary -tales about strong, famous women- of Elizabeth Taylor's life and the drama evoked by men in it. Now they violet-eyed woman was apparently single and claiming things were much easier this way. Peyton recognized the feeling.

_Men_…Where they good for anything?

Her relationship with Jake hadn't been safe, as she had convinced herself of so many times, but an emotion-battering prison while the weeks she spent with Lucas had been way too passionate. They had flown to the highest tops and than crashed in a deep dale. She could still feel the lingering bruises and wasn't looking forward to potentially get a few more. Although she loved him , she wasn't quite sure she could handle their intensity. Plus, being alone didn't have to mean loneliness, it could also stand for strength and individuality, which is better than a pile of dependent, heart-broken misery.

x

Lucas sunk himself down in their green armchair with a deep sigh and glanced at his depressed brother. As Nathan rose from the couch, the blonde followed his movement, sense and direction. It was -in order- slowly, vertically and towards the kitchen. Life after high school wasn't what they had expected it to be. The only thing living up to the dreams Lucas had up until now, was college although that also didn't feel as life-changing as it should after all that had happened with Peyton, his brother and Haley.

_Nathan sighed at Haley's glance of irritation when he entered the living room. This situation was simply unlivable and had to come to an end. Step-by-step, he found himself disliking Haley, something he couldn't ever have imagined doing yet the aversion towards her was undeniably growing. Calmly, he took a seat at their round, wooden kitchen table. "Sit down. We need to talk."_

_"No," she protested._

_"Yes!" he put his foot down._

_With an eye-roll, she rose from the couch and took a seat opposite him._

_"Explain me...What has gotten into you lately?"_

_She stubbornly looked away._

_"Haley..."_

_"_OK_!" she gave in. "I…" She had hoped to just be able to ignore the gnawing feeling inside of her. Yet Ignoring didn't make it go away; it just made it express itself in irritation and anger towards her husband. "Chris c-."_

_"**Him** **again? I'm -**"_

_"Not like that," Haley quickly cut him off. "Two weeks ago, I got a call from him. He asked me if I was interested in touring with him and another up-and coming artist. We'd be in the supporting program of Enation."_

_"You said no, right?"_

_"Yes, I did," she nodded. "I said 'no' for you. But it made me think."_

_"About?"_

_"I feel trapped in this relationship," the brunette confessed carefully._

_"What do you mean?" he asked with confused anger. "You're the one who fought for us! **You wanted this! Now you feel TRAPPED?**"_

_"Don't get mad…I feel, that I, I feel that I...ummm" she took a deep breath "It's like I'm turning into the half of a marriage certificate instead of an individual person and it's just...eating me up inside."_

_"I don't understand."_

_"Look," she began. "Sometimes; I'm tired of being 'Mrs. Nathan Scott' and I just want to be Haley James again. I've changed so much since we've been together; I'm losing myself, and it scares me. I love you," she continued before pausing a second to let the sincerity of those three words seep through "but I don't love me anymore."_

_"Tell me what I have to," he demanded. "To make this better."_

_"I don't know if there's anything you can do. I think this one's up to me. You're a great husband, Nathan. I'm just a bad wife."_

_"What do you mean, Haley? Is there somebody else?"_

_"No! **Haven't you listened?**" she shouted angered but then forced herself to calm down. "There's nobody else. It's just me. I need some space t-"_

**_"You're leaving me?"_**

_"No!" Haley denied. "Yes. No. Ugh," she sighed out. "I don't know what I mean; I'm just so… confused." She buried her face in her hands._

_"There's more, isn't there?" he asked somewhat cold. This was unbelievable; they had been through so much together and now she had gone back to doubting them, because of one phone-call. Damn Chris Keller. Damn tours. Damn music over all._

_"I kept in touch with Brooke," Haley then said._

_"So? I did too. She's my friend. Despite what happened, I still care about her."_

_"She suggested I'd stay with her for a little while. To figure some things out."_

_The hurt radiated from his deep-blues. Brooke had know about her concerns and fears before he had? _

_"Nathan…" she softly spoke and laid her hand on his. "This would just be a temporary t-"_

_"I can't believe you…" he mumbled. "Fine then," Nathan continued louder. "Do that! **Leave! That's what you're good at ANYWAY!**"_

_Although he had just ordered her to leave, he stood up, walked to the front door and opened it before disappearing in the hall._

Nathan gazed around him. The constant, dazzled glance in his eyes had appeared after the first night he had slept alone, without Haley next to him, thirteen days ago now. It was as if someone had amputated one of his legs and all he could do now was limp further on one.

"Nate..." Lucas sighed. "D-"

"Don't," he cut him off.

"You're my brother…" His soft voice spoke of pity and powerlessness: how on earth could he solve this? "I want to be there for you, help you…"

"You want to help me?"

"Yes."

"Cut ties with her."

"_What?" _he asked shocked._ "_Nathan, I can't do that…She's been my best friend since we were nine, I-"

"Yeah..." he nodded bitterly. "That's what I thought." Frustrated and angered, Nathan slammed the fridge shut to storm through the front door. When his brother asked him where he was going, a snapping 'out' left his mouth.

Lucas almost invisible shook his head yet considered his demand. Haley was in the wrong - or in an identity crisis- and after all Nathan _was_ his brother. Now was a time to show his loyalty right? For a while, he reflected on all that had happened in the weeks before, during and now after Nathan and Haley's separation. Long before he came to a decision, his mind wandered off. He groaned annoyed with himself.

How could he think about _her_ when his brother was in such deep misery? Yet he couldn't help it: Peyton's image was planted in his brain. Now that she had broken up with Jake, she still didn't answer his calls, let alone come to see him. She had basically cut him out of her life and even Rachel didn't know what was going on inside her head. Desperation glared around the corner and...The magic of the Big Apple everyone always gushed about just wasn't what he had expected it to be. Then again, that probably wasn't New York's fault, right?

x

Hours became days, days became weeks and before she realized it, Peyton had been single a whole month. She waved Katherine and a few of her fellow baristas goodnight and left the coffee house. Dressed in a deep-red tank top, denim mini-skirt and black ballerinas she walked over the Manhattan street stones. When her stomach made a strange noise, the blonde glanced down at her watch. It was around half-nine PM and the only supermarket still open and harboring her favorite lasagna was Food Lion.

A bit later, she stood between beige, plastic shelves, gazing up at an appealing bag of strawberry-jam filled cookies. It was on the top shelve and although she was quite tall, she couldn't reach it. Her caramel-greens tore themselves away from the delicacy to search help.

Lucas mind went blank when he saw the blonde standing between the cup-cakes and donuts. She looked gorgeous, which made him ache for her even more. It had been weeks since he had merely _heard her voice_: when desperation had eventually crept out of its corner and jumped him, he had given up. No more calls and no more dropping by at Rauwolf. To be near her but not be with her had been too much of a torture and if she truly didn't want him, who was he to force her in a relationship? Gaining his consciousness back, Lucas turned around to disappear before she'd notice him.

"Hey!" Peyton shouted at some boy's back. "Could you please-"

She scowled displeased; how rude of that shelve boy to just ignore her. Isn't customer king? Determined, she followed him to explain him client policy. Unbelievable! He quickened his tread, as if trying to shake her off. Even though she had a strong personality, she behaved humbly towards her customers in the coffee house and tried to do everything she could to keep them happy. When _she_ was the customer, she expected the same treatment.

"Hey! I'm talking to you," she complained as she persistently followed the rude blonde into the storage space. "You can't just ignore me! I am-"

The boy turned around and Peyton's breath staggered in her throat. "Why not?" he asked. "You do it to me."

"Lucas..." she softly spoke. She saw the hurt in his eyes and suddenly realized how much of a cow she had been with her mooted behavior towards him. In these past weeks, she had missed him a lot but whenever she considered picking up the phone and contact him, she forced the vision of hurt and sorrow on herself and asked herself if she wanted to jump into something that'd eventually crash and burn anyway. "I didn't m-"

"I don't understand..." he began frustrated. How he wished he could keep his cool right now yet she always triggered this over-emotional reactions with him. "…why you are like this. I tell you you are the love of my life and what do you do? You don't answer my calls, you ignore me at the coffee house and now, to know if you haven't fled to Mexico or something, I have to ask _Rachel_. It's like you've forgotten I exist. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I'm sorry," Peyton offered.

"Yeah, well..." Lucas replied. "I am too. Could you please go now?"

She began walking towards the back like a beaten dog but changed her mind mid-way.

"I'm scared," she admitted turning around.

Frowning non-understanding, Lucas asked: "Of what? Of what can you **possibly** be scared?"

"You... I mean, I've never, from the first moment, I…" she stopped and took a deep breath before reprising. "I don't want to hurt you." She rapidly walked over to him. "Oh, Lucas, I...and then Elizabeth Taylor."

"Elizabeth Taylor?"

"I can't handle more drama and I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt _you_ but that's what I do. I'm trouble and...And I screw up myself and the people around me. Just look at you! When I saw you at the airport, you seemed, you know, _content_. And now..._not_. You deserve better an-"

Lucas bowed his head and placed his hand on his forehead. "Peyton..." he spoke vexed "you're making up excuses. If you don't want to be with me, at least have the common decency to admit it. This is just… _embarrassing_."

"Fine!" she shouted angered. "Don't believe me then!" After a small pause, she added muttering, almost inaudible: "It's not like I expected you to understand it anyway…"

Lucas immediately looked back up. How could she diminish what had drawn him to her in the first place? Their ability to get each other with merely one look was so special, untouchable yet she was blanching it. As she fiercely stepped to the door, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Don't do that," he warned. "Don't act like we were nothing in the first place. And if you do, at least don't do it behind my back."

She pulled her hand loose. Her beautiful face was deformed in disdain as she walked away from him. Reaching the door, she yanked the latch with all her strength but the thing didn't budge. Her eyes fell on a little box next to it. Off course… There was a code. When she turned around, she was greeted by Lucas overshadowing body, his hands above her head as he drove her against the metal door.

"Make me understand then," he ordered.

She again tried to escape but he lowered one of his hands on her hip tightly enough so she had now no more space to move. Peyton groaned in frustration. "I've lost people," she began. "People that I love and then the loneliness...The loneliness…" she repeated in a sigh. "I couldn't handle it, I had to make it go away and drugs did that. Only for a while, but still, they made me forget about my mom and my _screwed up self_! And my dad…" The sorrow bottled in those last two words were heart-breaking. Her father's absence could very well be the most pronounced one of her scars. **"I _needed_ him and he just left!''**

"Peyt…" he softly soothed her and wanted to cup her cheek but she turned her head stubbornly.

"When Jake came in my life, things changed. I thought he was my ticket to 'happiness' or something equally _ridiculous_. Obviously he wasn't and then suddenly you were there but…" she shook her head "And I'm tired, Lucas. I'm tired of always feeling pain. I just want to grow numb to it all.''

''I won't let you.''

She coldly chuckled. ''You have no idea what you're saying. I come with baggage, Lucas. How could you ever understand how I feel? How could a boy like _you_ handle a girl like _me_?"

The sympathy he had felt upon her words about her father vanished. "I don't know," he replied sharply. ''It wouldn't be much worse than you handle yourself, though.'' A firm slap followed his words and it stung, as did her death-glare after but he didn't care. Instead he wrapped his arm tightly around her waist. Her hand rose up to slap the other cheek but he grabbed it and lowered it again. "Stop it!" he ordered. "I love you and despite everything, I believe you love me. If you don't, just say the word and I'll walk away. You'll never see me again. "

With all she had in her, she tried to root herself out of his arms until she gave up, heavily panting. She gazed up at him with flickering eyes, which burned more with each second he persistently glared back. "You aren't going anywhere before I have an answer. I'm **sick** of this cat-and-mouse game! And I'm s-"

She crashed her mouth roughly into his and when Lucas somewhat got over his surprise, he planted his hand in her curls to deepen their kiss; their lips moving feverishly against each other. They had shared a lot of kisses in the time they had had together but none of them had been like this. It was an intense, emotional release, filled with sorrow, lust, anger and love. When she suddenly pulled back, Lucas ran his finger over his lip gazing at her like a deer in headlights.

Peyton stared back wanting. She had missed him: his kiss, his touch, his rosewood-with-amber scent…Everything. But she needed more. She moved closer again, cupped his cheek and kissed him again, slowly and with tenderness now. "I...I..." she tried to utter a love declaration upon breaking their lips apart but fear held her back. Acknowledging her feelings now would make her weak because she'd let the scant control she still had over them slip away. With a somewhat troubled glance in her hazels, she bowed her head.

Lucas looked down at her. Such a beautiful yet complex creature. Shouldn't being in love equal bliss? He placed his index finger under her chin and softly led her to face him again. Peyton gazed up at him and, preparing for his kiss, closed her hazel orbs. "Open your eyes," he ordered. She did, yet confused. "Tell me you love me," he further demanded. To be honest, this dominancy of his turned her one and when he pressed her against his body even more, Peyton sighed. She wanted him. Here. Now. When she wrapped her hands around his neck with the intention of kissing him, he held her back by her waist. "_Say_ it."

"I love you," Peyton said before finally capturing his lips and quickly lowered her hand to tug his belt. "I mean it," she added before he could protest. "I mean it..." She suddenly backed away and pulled her top off to give the final push. In the blink of an eye, he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around him. They shed their remaining clothes on their way down between the kissing and groping until at a certain point; they lay naked between the lemonade and water, moving as one. The setting wasn't exactly the epitome of romance but it was them. _Together. _How it should be.

x

With Nathan's depressed posture as her only company, Rachel grabbed the handle of her pan and shook it so that her chunks of bacon, shuddering in healthier- then- butter olive oil, wouldn't burn. About fifteen minutes later, she proudly put her dish on the table and ordered Nathan to come and eat.

"No!" he protested.

She groaned, walked over to him and pulled him out of his chair to drag him to the kitchen.

"Rachel, no…" Nathan whined.

The redhead didn't listen and gave him a scoop of her spaghetti carbonara. "Don't you Scott boys have any manners?" she began her rant. "This morning, Lucas told me he'd help me cook. Now he still isn't home while you plainly refuse to eat! I've been slaving for you over a hot stove for an hour so you'll stop your sorry-ass _whining_ for twenty minutes to enjoy the meal I just served you. Am I clear?"

He could only nod. A bit later, he looked up from his plate. "This is really good, Rachel," he humbly made a compliment.

"Thank you," she accepted his unspoken apology yet she still was a bit aggravated; not only because of Nathan's original refusal but also because Lucas hadn't come home. Over the past month, she had felt with him concerning his situation with Peyton; they had gotten quite close and it irked that he didn't even bother to pick up a phone and tell her where he was.

"I'm sorry," Nathan then said.

"Why?"

"Because you have to live with me and Luke."

She sighed sadly. "I'm sorry about that too. You two are the kind of men who are the blueprint for building a loser."

"Hey!" Nathan protested but then, for the first time in two weeks, a smile curled his lips, followed by laughter. "That's actually a very good burn," he added with an impressed nod. "Respect, Gattina."

"I do my best," she shrugged nonchalantly.

After dinner and the dishes, they sat in front of the TV, watching the Silence of the Lambs. Rachel had been mouthing along the words the characters spoke all the way through. "Lambs. The lambs were screaming." she whispered to ask herself: "They were slaughtering the spring lambs?"

"OK," Nathan loudly spoke. "Cut it out, you're scaring the living shit out of me."

She gazed deeply into his eyes. "What became of your lamb, Nathan?" the redhead whispered. It hadn't been a lie; she was freaking him out and by the glimmer in her eyes, actually took pleasure in it! He tore his browns away from hers and fixed them on the screen. Minutes passed and the suspense of the film had Nathan, who had hardly any nails left, on the edge of his seat.

"Well, Clarice...Have the lambs stopped screaming?" Hannibal asked deeper in the movie as Nathan waited tensed for Clarice's answer.

Suddenly high-pitched screams filled the room and when they died out; the brown-haired boy realized he had been the one doing the screaming. With a heavily pounding heart, he turned his head to his left, where Rachel was almost rolling from the couch, choking in her laughter. She had shouted 'BOO' to scare him but had never expected these girl-like shrieks.

"Oh, oh, make it stop…" she begged panting as she held her stomach: the muscles in her tummy began to ache from all the laughing.

"I'm going to bed," Nathan announced embarrassed and disappeared to brush his teeth. ''You're the devil,'' he accused her through the bathroom door. "The devil!"

"Love you too, Nathan!" Rachel shouted. "And remember: if you can't sleep, count your lambs!"

x

Pouting displeased, Peyton took her black bra off the cola bottles and put it on before gazing around. They lay on some dirty, rough fabric that had been used to cover a bunch of beer kegs. In the corner of the dark grey- walled storage room stood a filthy orange car and overall, this space was conquered by spider webs. He slipped his hand around her waist and pulled her down again to capture her lips. The pout hadn't disappeared when he pulled back.

"What is it now, woman?" he jokingly asked.

"I haven't been very lady-like."

"That's because you aren't a lady."

She softly tapped his chest. "It's not funny, I feel cheap."

"Well…If it makes you feel any better, you cost me a lot of coffees."

"Lucas…" she complained. "You know what you said earlier, that I forgot you existed? Well…that isn't true. I thought about you a lot and when I did, I imagined our second first time would be special."

"Second first time?" he repeated amused. _Convenience, much? _

"You know, when we'd be an official couple."

"We're official?"

"Oh…" the blonde bit her bottom lip. "I don't know. Are we?"

"I don't know, are you still scared?"

She shrugged. "I don't want t-"

"I won't hurt you, I promise," he cut her off. "And the only way you can hurt _me_ is by not being with me." He captured her lips and further lowered them to her shoulder.

He might not be safe and might mean heartbreak in the long run but on the other hand, she didn't want a life ruled by 'ifs', 'could haves' and 'should haves'. "Stop…" she sighed out as he pressed his mouth on her collarbone. "I can't concentrate like this." She recalled the honey at the cabin. In eight years, she hadn't once thought about her mother without tearing up. The honey had been the first time and it was Lucas' doing, she had later realized.

She tore her eyes away from a huge spider web and locked them with his darkened blues. Men...here she was, thinking deeply about her future and he wanted to have another round of sex. "OK. Let's give it a go," she answered and brushed her lips against his. Then she softly ran her fingers over his slightly swollen cheek. "Sorry I slapped you earlier."

"Make it up to me."

Peyton rolled her eyes when he tried to lay her down. "Luke," she groused. "I'm not going to have sex here a second time. Besides, what if someone comes in?"

"It's one AM," he pouted.

"Luke!" Peyton cried out disbelieving when his fingers began to work on the close of her bra. "Down boy."

"But I missed you..."

"I missed you too," she said softer. "So if you want, you can sleep at my place tonight. In a _bed_."

Lucas exchanged his surprised look with her waiting one and softly nodded. "I'd like that."

Hours later, they lay together naked on her soft mattress, under her cardinal sheets. As softly as she could, Peyton turned around to face him, which was quite a task: he had spooned her and completely wrapped her with his limbs. Almost whistling noises left his nostrils and she squeezed his nose to make it stop. He mumbled 'no' and Peyton smiled endeared by his boyish innocence.

She then softly pressed her lips on his cheek before snuggling up against his chest. As she laid there in his arms, her life, it seemed, would for the first time since long be free of struggles. Her emeralds closed as she concentrated on nothing but the beating of his heart. She felt as if she was floating through a different, bluer sky and didn't feel like landing just yet.

* * *

The line '_Goodbye's too good a word, babe, so I'll just say fare thee well'_ is from the song 'Don't Think Twice, It's All right by Bob Dylan. I hope you weren't too freaked out be Rachel lol ;) Silence of the Lambs is one of the best thrillers ever BTW. Anyway, tell me what you think! 


	8. Winter's Bells

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. It's really nice to see people appreciate your work :).

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, Hannibal Rising or Steel Magnolias.

* * *

8. Winter's Bells 

Since all over New York streets were forced open, it was impossible to drive through by car hence for the time being, a lot of people took the subway. Lucas' class had ended a bit before Peyton's today and so they had decided to meet each other here and then go home together using the underground vehicle. Gazing around the property of Manhattan College, the blonde scanned the gray December air for his girlfriend.

She'd wait for him by the pine tree but, Lucas noticed, there were quite a lot of pine trees here. Finally he saw her yet as he approached her, a guy did the same and faster. She smiled at the dark-haired, tall and handsome man and they engaged in a conversation. Lucas scowled displeased and quickened his tread.

Possessive jealousy was new to him and had first popped up a week ago when they were walking through Central Park.

_The coldness stung even through their clothes as they walked over the light-grey stones. Left and right from the bridge pride trees of which the branches reached for each other above their heads grew. Peyton, with her white coat, long, golden spirals waving along with the wind and the veil of happiness around her looked simply wonderful._

_From afar, they saw a little boy chasing doves away. When he noticed the beautiful blonde girl staring at him, he raised his hand and waved at her. She smiled and waved back. However, what they hadn't noticed was the jogger nearby them had run into a tree because he had kept his eyes on Peyton instead of on the road. _

_Lucas and Peyton ran to the fallen guy and Peyton bowed over to ask if he was alright, not aware she was the reason for his encounter with the tree. The guy grabbed her head, kissed her and then jumped up. "I am now," he answered winking before running away with the fear of getting handled by her boyfriend._

Needless to say, Lucas hadn't been amused and was now afraid every guy wanted to do something like this upon seeing her. The fact that she stared at this man as if he was Jesus Christ himself only added to his jealousy. "Hey," he wrapped his arm around her waist and mimicked his girlfriend's trademark by lightening the man with his eyes.

"Hey," Peyton greeted back and gave him a short but sweet kiss on the lips. "Mr. Alekseyev, this is my boyfriend Lucas," Peyton then introduced. "Lucas, this is my professor Mr. Alekseyev."

_Oh, shit._ Lucas turned red as a beet. This wasn't some random guy, this was Mr. Alekseyev as in _Jourdan M. –standing for Maksim- Alekseyev_, a thirty year old man with a Russian father, French mother and an impressive curriculum vitae. Up until four months ago, he was the curator of the Parisian museum Le Louvre but then decided to move to New York and teach this 'Mc Donalized excuse for a society' as he had so kindly called the inhabitants of America.

The tons of insults that had arrived at his address upon uttering those words he had simply ignored because although his lack of subtly was his weakness, he knew it was his strength at the same time. "It's a pleasure meeting you, Lucas," the man spoke in a slight but noticeable French accent. "Peyton has told me a lot about you."

For a moment, Lucas was absolutely speechless. With his sharp criticism and eccentricity, this man was the contemporary art equivalent to literature's Oscar Wilde. "The pleasure's entirely mine," he said sincerely and shook his hand.

"Oh," Peyton placed her hand on her head. "I left something in the auditorium. Be right back," she added.

Before she took off, she wanted to pull Lucas into a kiss but he pushed her head down quite roughly and shortly pressed his lips against her forehead. "Off you go," he then said.

With a confused stare she sprinted off.

"Peyton told me you're writing a book," Jourdan said.

"I do," he nodded. "An autobiography. I started writing in junior year but always got stuck. Lately, though, the ink has been flowing out of my pen. Since I met Peyton, actually," he confessed.

"Your muse," he established and gazed to his side, at nothing in particular. "She's a special girl indeed…" For a second, the blonde couldn't help but feel Jourdan meant that in a context different from her accomplishments in class. "I see a lot of potential in her," the dark-haired man quickly continued, looking back into Lucas' eyes "and from what I've heard, you have too. You should let me read your work sometimes."

The doubt concerning his intentions with Peyton immediately vanished. "Seriously?"

Art is everything from architecture to literature and although you mostly point your study on one of its many branches, you'll unavoidable handle other ones as well. When you decide to take up all, you are a homo universalis and Jourdan M. Alekseyev was one of those.

"Off course," Jordan confirmed as a flushed Peyton joined them again. "Anyway, I got to run now," he continued. "Class."

With an 'it was good meeting you' to Lucas and 'see you in class' to his curly student, he walked away. When he was less than a meter away, Peyton turned around and pulled her boyfriend in a deep kiss. From the corner in his eyes, Lucas saw Jourdan looking over his shoulder and softened their kiss a bit.

"Not in front of your professor," he protested.

"You didn't seem to mind earlier," she pointed out.

"I didn't know…" he offered. "That man's a _genius_."

"I know. But you're forgiven."

On their way to the subway, their conversation gradually shifted from Lucas' book to literature to –when they were in the subway train- his brother. The blondes shared different opinions on how Haley should be treated: despite Nathan's wishes, Lucas had kept in contact with her, which Peyton described as a lack of loyalty.

"Are you mad at me now?" he asked when they had bickered about the subject for the hundredth time.

"No, I'm not mad," Peyton answered. "It's not because we're together we share the same brain. But you know where I stand in this like I know where _you_ stand concerning my father."

Disapproval reflected in his blue eyes. A while ago, Peyton had admitted to him she had been deleting his mails and ignoring his calls for quite a while now. The confession had bore a lot of similarities to what she had done with _him_ before they had gotten together. If someone had hurt her, she put up her shields. Lucas had been able to break through but obviously someone who's at the other end of world can impossibly do that. At least not with Peyton Sawyer.

"Why do you always ask me if I'm mad at you when we don't agree on something?" she asked curiously.

"Because huh…Brooke, really."

"Oh," she responded. "No, I don't get it," the blonde then added.

"Well, whenever she didn't like someone or something, I automatically had to, you know, don't like that person or thing too. Or she was angry and I could spend a week making it up to her." He paused. "And I did."

"Want to go by the pet store later on?" she teased. "You're getting way too strong-minded lately. I think I need a leash."

Lucas slid his hand in her curls and brought his lips to her ear. "Whatever floats your boat," he whispered. "But I prefer hand cuffs."

"Luke…" She tapped his chest while her eyes ran over the people to make sure no one had heard that. "You're a perv."

A bit later they lay next to the golden-decorated Christmas tree, together on Lucas' couch, caught up in their routine of groping and making out. Since it was winter, Peyton could no longer walk around with bare legs hence she wore nylon panties. She stretched her body so that she could take them off and when she had –with help of his impatient hands- Lucas stroke her thighs incredibly aroused. She shot back up, straddled him and crashed her mouth into his.

"Bed," she ordered in a moan when he slipped his hands under her pullover and began to stroke her breasts. They were about to sprint into his room when the door opened.

Nathan came in, sweaty and pleased with a red-headed, equally sweating Rachel behind him. The blondes' frustration about being interrupted was overshadowed by their surprise concerning Nathan's off-key singing on the tones of 'We Are the Champions'. Rachel flung her body in the couch.

"Shut uuuuuuuuup!" the redhead shouted irritated as he disappeared to take a shower. "I liked him better depressed," she now addressed Lucas and Peyton.

"Rach…" Lucas began as him and Peyton went to sit straight in the couch. "You didn't go jogging with him, did you?"

She pulled the water bottle away from her lips to stare at Lucas' in disbelief. "How could I have known he would be such a **PAIN IN THE ASS!?!**" she screamed those last words the bathroom door's way. "It was hell," she then shook her red locks. "I begged him to slow down but he didn't listen still he wanted me to keep up and when I couldn't he began to push me and I, I-"

"God, is he that bad?" Peyton asked.

"Worse," Lucas and Rachel spoke in unison. "I'm in good shape and know I can run as hard as him," Lucas continued. "But he so competitive; he'd run himself to death just to be quicker than you. On the other hand, when you're having a bad day, he comes behind you hopping and barking at you to go faster. It has been a while since he has acted like this, though."

"Good to know I bring out the worst in him," she sarcastically replied.

"Still, you've cheered him up," Lucas pointed out. "It's good to see him going back to his old self."

A thoughtful glance appeared in her browns. "Yeah, I guess it is."

When a wet-haired Nathan came of the couch a couple of moments later, Rachel spurted in because she couldn't stand sitting in this sweat for a second longer. After she also had rubbed herself clean, she joined them again to see Peyton pulling out Monopoly.

"I'm the shoe!" the curly blonde announced.

They all went to sit around their coffee table. Lucas took the little hat, Nathan the mini-plane and Rachel decided to go for the tiny boat. The longer they played, the more fake money mounted up next to the redhead's property cards. Nathan, on the other hand, was going bankrupt.

"One, two, three, four, five," she counted and picked up a chance card. "Go to 'Start'," she read cheerfully and fattened up her notes with two of five-hundred.

"Damn it," Nathan spat out irritated. "How come you get all the luck?"

"Oh, my dear friend," she spoke to him. "Monopoly is a game of chance. You've got two dices and you just calculate the chance you could get to throw a certain number and bear different factors like the property and money of your co-players in mind. _Luck_ doesn't have anything to do with it, this is pure math. And that, _par hasard_, is my area of expertise," she explained as Nathan scowled at the little money lying under his side of the board.

"Whose turn is it now?" the redhead further asked. "Luke, your elbow, watch out!" she then shouted. A slow-motion 'no' left her mouth when all the money, pawns and cards suddenly flew up in the air. Damn those horny blondes!

Lucas bit his lip embarrassed until Peyton began dropping kisses along his jaw line. He yanked his head back and slammed his mouth over hers. With a pout, Rachel had to establish there was no rebuilding this game and when she looked up from the money-mixed-with-pawns, she saw a pair of struggling tongues who suddenly pulled apart to quickly run into Lucas' bedroom. You didn't have to be Jourdan M. Alekseyev to know what they were going to do.

"Thanks for the help!" she shouted.

"I'll help you," Nathan offered.

"Thanks," the redhead sighed and they began assembling everything.

"There's a new movie release tomorrow," the youngest Scott spoke while throwing the little hat in the box.

"Yeah? Which one?" Rachel asked mildly interested.

Since Lucas and Peyton had resided in bed these last two months, they had often sat in the couch together watching films from thrillers to romcoms and had also gone to the cinema a couple of times. It was amicable and they both enjoyed the friendship they had built up over the weeks.

"Hannibal Rising," he answered.

The redhead looked up and smirked. "Ooooh, Nate, are you sure? I wouldn't want you to wet your pants in public, that'd be kind of embarrassing," she mocked.

"Shut up," Nathan smiled. "Bitch," he muttered intentionally loud enough for her to hear.

She looked up. "Jerk."

"Slut."

"Asshole."

"Seven?"

"OK."

x

Three different hair colors had been walking from block to block, from shop to shop for over two hours up until fifty minutes ago when they had stopped at a huge record store. Currently, red and brown waited outside huffing and puffing displeased.

"Peyton, do these records still have to be made?" Katherine shouted vexed.

This morning Peyton and Rachel had decided to go on a shopping spree and when it turned out Katherine would also do her gift hunting this afternoon, Peyton had proposed they'd all go together. A sparkling-eyed Peyton left the shop with a bag in each hand. She had bought herself loads of old-school rock classics like Smoke on the Water and Sympathy for The Devil but unfortunately, none of them were Christmas presents.

"Finally," her brunette friend sighed. "We were starting to take root here."

"Oh, you're overreacting," Peyton dismissed her accusations. "I was only in there for-"

"An hour," Rachel cut her off.

The blonde pouted and carefully asked: "So what do you guys want to do now?"

"I don't know about you…" Katherine addressed the redhead before glancing at her hazel-eyed friend accusing. "…but my body can use some defrosting and maybe hot coco will do the trick."

"No one forced you to stand outside!" Peyton protested.

From the hour she had spent with Pearl Jam and Jeff Buckley, Rachel had been by her side about twenty minutes before she wanted to continue the clothes-search while Katherine had refused to step into the store. She was more into pop and said the loud guitars hurt her ears. With these kinds of statements coming out of her mouth, Peyton sometimes wondered why she was her friend again but then remembered she just adored the girl's light-hearted personality.

It was the same reason why she couldn't help but think about Brooke. Especially now, around Christmas. She had begun to miss her and wonder if the brunette could maybe find it in her heart to forgive her but she was too scared to make the first move, which _she, _seeing the circumstances, would be obliged to take.

Over their whipped-creamed hot chocolates, the three girls chattered about everything from boys over to television until they broached the subject of the upcoming New Year's Eve party at Rauwolf. Loads of people were invited and had already paid their entrance card. The profit they'd get from this would be huge.

"Don't look," Rachel suddenly whispered. "But Haley's here."

Peyton's head began to spin. "Where? Where?" she hissed.

"Way to be subtle," the redhead complained. "She's at three o'clock."

"My three o'clock of yours?"

"Mine."

Then Peyton saw her too. She was accompanied by a quite handsome man with light-gray eyes and brown hair. The petite brunette bowed her head, looking completely busted. Not long after the blonde had spotted her, Haley stood up and left with the guy following her.

"Are you going to tell Nathan?" Peyton asked.

"Uh, I don't know," she replied uncomfortably. "He'd die if I told him."

A furrow crept in Katherine's perfectly depilated brow.

"Who are Nathan and Haley?"

x

The blood splattered across the screen as Hannibal chopped some guy's head off with a samurai sword. In the meanwhile Nathan and Rachel's disappointment grew with the speed of light. This Hannibal, who only killed malicious people, stood far from Hopkins' Lecter, who kills and tortures good and evil alike.

"Bad," Rachel mumbled.

"Awful," Nathan backed her up.

"Horrible."

"Let's get away from here," he offered. "Or I'll poke out my eyes."

"I vote the first," she replied.

As the two –wrapped into thick jackets, woolen mittens and scarves- walked home and passed light-ornamented show windows, a feeling of melancholy took a hold of them. They reflected on their previous Christmases and softly bowed their heads because they knew the past was gone with the melted snow.

"You're a good friend, Rachel," Nathan suddenly said. "And I know this is long overdue but...I'm sorry about they way we all treated and saw you. We had no idea."

"I know you didn't. But it still hurt. You never gave me a chance."

"I apologize for that."

She gazed at him and smiled. "Apology accepted." Suddenly it irked her she was holding the piece of information she had gathered this afternoon from him since he was being so kind. "Nathan," she softly began and touched his arm to stop his tread. "I- I saw Haley today."

"You did?" he scowled. "Where?"

"In some tearoom," Rachel answered. "And she...She," the redhead breathed in. "She was with somebody else."

"I know," he sighed.

"Huh?" she let out confused. "You do?"

"Yes," Nathan nodded. "According to Brooke, he's supposed to be just a friend but I don't know..." He sighed. "I hope she'll come to her senses soon. I love her to death, Rach, but I can't force her to come back to me."

When he walked further as if nothing had happened, Rachel frowned. Was this all? No retro-depressed Nathan Scott behavior? Sure, it had been three months now since their break-up but seeing the relationship they had had; she couldn't imagine he took it really this lightly. Inside more than meets the eyes must be going on. Or maybe, she considered the second, unlikely option; he was dealing with it maturely, accepting it and slowly moving on.

"You coming?" he asked her looking over his shoulder. "We can still make it home for A Streetcar Named Desire."

Since they had watched Casablanca not long ago, Rachel had pulled Nathan along in her passion for old films. She nodded and hopped further to walk next to him again. After a while, she went back to her nostalgia. Christmas should be a time of joy but since Ben died, it hadn't been anymore.

Nathan looked down at her, realizing whatever he had gone through, she had experienced just as much and hundred times worse. "Come here," he spoke and threw his arm around her shoulder.

She gazed up at him and noticed the hard glance in his deep-blue eyes had softened over the last days. He brought her closer to his chest and she wrapped her arm around his waist. A strange feeling bubbled up inside of her, one that she hadn't felt for so long it had almost become unrecognizable.

x

A low groan left Lucas throat as 'not yet' again came out of Peyton's mouth. For twenty minutes now, he had walked around in breathtaking Christmas-Manhattan with her hand in front of his eyes. Now that he _was_ feeling the magic of the Big Apple, she didn't let him behold it.

"OK," Peyton then said and pulled her hand away.

Enthralled, Lucas stared at the small, slightly ragged shop in front of him. The wooden sign read 'Since 1849' and cradled along with the wind. In the showroom rested second-handed books from authors like Charles Dickens, Stephen King and John Grisham.

"An early Christmas gift," she whispered in his ear. "Come on."

She intertwined her hand in his and led him through the squeaking door. Behind the counter sat on old man with thick, black glasses who acknowledged their presence with an almost invisible nod. As Peyton saw her boyfriend running from wooden shelve to wooden shelve, almost clapping his hands in excitement, she thought about the expression with the child and the candy shop.

When she told him she'd wait in the front, she doubted he even heard her in his eagerness to pull hard covers and paperbacks off the racks. Unlike Rachel and Katherine, Peyton patiently waited until Lucas was finished exploring yet before she knew it, she had been there listening to the store owner for over an hour now.

"My wife is going to make duck with orange sauce," the man -who was called August- informed Peyton.

She smiled at him kindly. "That sounds delicious."

"And my granddaughter is flying in tonight with her little Maggie. She's one an-"

"All done," Lucas sighed content when he finally showed his face again.

August glanced at him slightly annoyed that he interrupted their conversation but then shuffled towards the pile of what must've been at least eleven books. "Eighty-six dollars and sixty-three cents," he said after he had looked at every book. Lucas paid and a bit later -after August had finished explaining the profile of his great-granddaughter, they stood back on the streets.

With his one hand clutching the paper bag and his arm wrapped around Peyton's waist, Lucas bowed his head and kissed her red, ice-cold ear. "I love you," he mumbled.

His hot breath made her ear defrost and she scrunched her nose at the sense. "You're tickling me," she said and instead turned her head to kiss his lips.

After they broke apart, both sunk deeper in their coats and pressed their bodies close against each other for warmth. Tonight they'd stay at Peyton's house and they couldn't get there any sooner.

Once arrived, Peyton threw her keys on her cupboard before taking off her coat and scarf. She sighed deeply and threw her body into the couch. When Lucas crawled on top of her she took his head between her hands before he had the chance to kiss her and stroke his skin softly with her thumbs. Simultaneously; they said:

"You make my life more beautiful."

"I love you so much, Peyt."

Seconds passed wherein they just looked into each other's eyes and knew this was it. This was the moment in which they both realized they were forever stuck onto each other; whatever would happen, wherever life would take them. Even if it'd break them apart, because although their connection and love weren't _palpable_ or _visible_, it was stronger than time, stronger than space, stronger than themselves.

x

When they had come home after walking out of the cinema, Nathan had concluded that A Streetcar Named Desire wouldn't be on until tomorrow so they were now watching Steel Magnolias instead. Rachel avoided looking at him scrupulously and eventually got sucked into the storyline, which was extremely depressing.

Bored to death, Nathan tore his eyes away from the screen to see his friend's reaction to the film. "Rach..." His tone was teasing. "Are you crying?"

She wiped a tear away. "No, I just got something in my eye."

"No, you're crying," Nathan insisted.

"I'm not!"

A whimper escaped her throat.

"Rachel Gattina is crying over some corny chick-flick! Priceless!"

"Aaargh...you're so annoying!" She took a pillow and hit him furiously with it. "Annoying, annoying boy!" Her jaw almost dropped when he hit her back with a green one. "I'm a girl!" the redhead pointed out. "You can't hit me."

Red locks flew through the air as he smashed the pillow on the other side of her head. While he laughed hearty, she crawled off the couch to take the biggest pillow they had -lying in the other seat- swung it back and than landed it on his head so hard it must've whirled off.

"You're so going to pay for that," he warned and chased her as she ran through their flat. After lots of squealing, she jumped back on the couch but just as he was about to take her down, she turned around and pushed his chest as hard as she could. He fell back in the pillows and she crawled on top of him.

"I won," she stated. "You're my bitch. Now what do you have to say for yourself?"

Dramatically, he placed his hand on his heart and looked at Rachel as if he was about to die. "I would rather," he paused "have thirty minutes of _wonderful _than a lifetime of nothing special."

To her own frustration, the tears stung in her eyes yet again. Why did she let a stupid movie get to her like this? She had experienced for more difficult things in life and to be honest, she simply wasn't the over-emotional type.

Yet deep down she knew why she was crying yet again. She was developing feelings beside friendship for Nathan and the fact that another guy besides Ben was touching her heart scared her, angered her and filled her with guilt. It felt like cheating. Mental infidelity.

Rachel rolled off his chest. "Annoying," she spat out as she marched to her bedroom.

Nathan stood up scowling confused and walked to her bedroom door. Yanking the latch, he noticed it was locked. "Rachel!" he tried. No answer came and after fifteen minutes of knocking the door and pleading for her to tell him what he had done wrong, he sunk himself in the couch again to watch a wrestling match.

However, he didn't enjoy it very much and soon realized it was because Rachel wasn't here making comments on how smacking chairs on each other's back can't be very healthy. Sadly, he gazed at her door, turned off the TV and went to bed himself.

x

A soft light fell on her eyelids to awake her from her sleep. Letting out a yawn, Peyton gazed at Lucas, who was still fast asleep. She stretched her body but as she did so, her right hand bumped into something.

_Huh? Legs?_

Moving her head up, she locked eyes with a pair of gray furious ones and further looked down at her naked body. The worst thing was that if she'd take the blanket to wrap it completely, she'd expose Lucas. Panicky, she poked her boyfriend's side. Lots of groans and complaints followed.

"Peyt, wh-"

"Is this how I have to come home?" roared a deep male voice. "To see my daughter _naked,_ on my furniture, with some _stranger_?!?"

Peyton quickly covered her body with shorts and a shirt. "Dad!!!" She then shouted embarrassed and angered.

"Leave!!"Larry barked at Lucas. "Or I'll hit you so hard your head sticks to your back!!!"

Picturing the image, Lucas' eyes widened. To walk around with your head attached to your back couldn't be very pleasant. Scared, he took the boxers Peyton had thrown on his body and dressed himself with red cheeks under the murdering stare of his father's girlfriend.

"Don't yell at him like that!!!" Peyton bellowed back. "First of all, he's not a stranger, he's my boyfriend and second of all, you'd know that if you weren't a stranger yourself!!"

"Leave!"

"Stay!"

"Leave!"

"Stay!"

"Peyt, I'd better go," a by now dressed Lucas made the decision for them.

"You sure?" she softly asked, turning around to face him.

"U-huh," he nodded and when Peyton saw his pleading, scared eyes she let go of his hand. He bowed over and softly kissed her cheek, which was a quite courageous thing to do under her wrath-filled father's eyes. "Call you later."

When he had shut the door behind him, she yanked her head back at her father. "Two years!!!" she shrieked, furiously showing him two fingers. "Two! Goddamn!! Years!!! You can't just come and b-"

**"CAN YOU STOP YELLING?!?"**

This last demand was so loud; both of them fell silent for a while.

"Like it or not," Larry then softly touched the silence. "I'm back. And I'm not leaving any time soon."

After her shock and anger had somewhat worn off, she took a long look at her father. His eyes were red-traced, his cheeks hollow and his pallid skin bore an ashes-like undertone. To be bluntly honest, he looked like shit, not at all like the handsome man from her memories. On top of that, she noticed he was slightly trembling, as if screaming alone had worn him out.

She scowled non-understanding when he actually went to sit down, breathing in and out deeply. "Why have you come back?" the blonde asked suspiciously.

"I just spent twenty hours in a plane," Larry avoided answering. "Cut me some slack."

"Why have you come back?" Peyton repeated her question.

"I told you -"

"Why have you come back?!!" she raised her voice.

"Because I'm dying!!!"he screamed."I'm DYING and _God forbid_ I want to spent my last weeks with my daughter!!!"

The world stood still. For just a second and then a waterfall of question rushed through her mind. What did he have? How long? How much time exactly did he still have? She gazed at him and felt hot tears sting in her eyes.

_The lawn lay covered with a snow blanket and was being attacked by their growling Golden Retriever, named Golden. Peyton stuck her little legs in the air forcefully to heighten in the sky while her hazels narrowed to splits as they caught the white sun rays. _

_"Peyton, baby, not so high!" Larry pleaded as he stroked his dog's fur. "You'll fall."_

_Provoking, the little blonde went even higher and then flew off her seat, straight forward through the sky. "Daddy, I'm falling!" she shrieked scared. "I'm falling!"_

_Larry sprinted forwards as fast as he could. "I got you," he sighed relieved when she landed into his arms. She looked scared like hell. Softly, he kissed his four-year old's cheek. "My poor baby girl."_

_She wrapped her little arms around her father's head frantically as he carried her back inside, where Anna was waiting for them, preparing their lunch: a meatloaf with carrots. Larry put her down and wrapped his arms around his wife. Their daughter scrunched her nose when they kissed and kissed…and kissed. _

_"Cookies!" The mini-blonde's attention shifted to a platter of Santa-shaped cookies. _

_"Peyton, baby, don't touch!" her father warned her. "You'll burn yourself."_

_Her hazels eyes never left his as she grabbed what she wanted, only to burst out in sobbing as she not only touched a warm cookie but also the broiling hot platter. Together with her hand, a piece of her under-arm colored bright-red. _

_Larry sighed and took his disobedient daughter up to the bathroom to take care of the blister that was forming. "Baby, do you see now what happens when you don't listen to me and do things without thinking?" he asked as he rubbed a cool liniment on her burns. "Huh?"_

_The little blonde nodded sadly but understanding. "Then I get hurt," she pouted._

_Smiling endeared, Larry pressed his lips on her still moist apple cheeks. She might not be very submissive but no one could accuse her of not being adorable. "I love you, baby."_

_Peyton took his head between her little palms –one of them now bandaged- and kissed his nose. "I love you too, daddy."_

She loved him for these kinds of memories, despised him for leaving her and loathed herself for ignoring him. Yet in this moment, the hate towards her father and herself tasted defeat and she walked over to him. "Oh, daddy..." she sighed as she flew into her father's arms. "I love you."

* * *


	9. Reason Can't, Time Does

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own the bible or OTH.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews :)

* * *

9. Reason Can't, Time Does

_To every thing there is a season,  
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:  
A time to be born, a time to die;  
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted…_

Gazing at the snow crystals on the window, Peyton recalled her mother's funeral. To tell the truth, she had never really been all that religious but when those biblical verses had echoed through one of Tree Hill's Gothic churches, they had touched the very depths of her soul. They were so beautiful, so bittersweet, so honest and yet she would've been fine if the rest of her life would've been deaf to them.

As she walked to the kitchen to get herself a cup of coffee, she softly pushed her father's bedroom door to check up on him. He was sleeping. He did quite a lot of that lately. She suppressed the anger she felt towards him for being left because he was living his last days with the hope of making things right with her. She could be distant and cold, but she wouldn't and didn't want to deny what must be his dying wish.

What did he have?

Simply said: lung cancer which had begun with a small cancer in his liver. When she had asked about his disease, he had overwhelmed her with numbers and abbreviations but what she had _remembered_ was that they had discovered it –as with most lung cancers- in stage four. The last one.

How long?

Probably for years now. There had been nothing the doctors could've still done when they had discovered it two weeks ago. Chemotherapy was pretty much useless now and Peyton had cried for an hour when he had told her he was glad he could keep his hair.

How much time exactly did he still have?

Three months. Possibly more. Possibly less.

She closed the door, made her coffee and joined Lucas in the sofa again. Although she didn't want to lay obstacles in her father's way now, she had made it quite clear he was an important part of her life that had to be accepted.

_"Dad…" _

_"Yes?" _

_"Can Lucas sleep here?" _

_"That depends," he replied as he turned the page of his paper. "Are you and Lucas going to have sex when he sleeps here?" _

_"Dad!" she shouted blushing. _

_"Yes or no?" _

_"Yes," the blonde then nodded, still red as a beet. "That could happen." _

_"Then no." _

_"Please." _

_"Peyton!" he began in disbelief. "You're asking me to let you and your boyfriend have sex in your room while I'm downstairs sleeping? I might look foolish but trust me, I'm not. Besides, I don't lik-" _

_"Dad…" she spoke threatening. _

_"Peyton…" _

_"Look at me," she then ordered and he did. "It isn't just about sex, dad. I love him and he loves me. He just…makes me happy. Really happy and I nee-," she rethought her choice of words. "… want him by my side." _

_For seconds, he just looked into her eyes and sighed deeply when he saw she meant it. He felt bad for returning to her with this kind of news and realized maybe he shouldn't change anymore aspects of her life. How irritating it was, he knew he should welcome her boyfriend into his house." Oh, Fine," he reluctantly gave in. _

_She smiled. "Thank you..." _

_"But I swear, if I hear one faint sex-nois-" _

_"Dad!" she shouted covering her ears. "Could you please stop talking about sex now?" _

_"One little sex-noise and out with the boy!" _

_"**Alright!**" _

Lucas pressed a kiss on her head and she held him a bit tighter. Last Sunday, Peyton had been pleased to found out her boyfriend and her dad had talked about books together. _Progression_. The curly blonde knew he'd give up Christmas with his uncle Keith for her and he almost had, if it hadn't been for her father. Not in the way that he didn't allow Lucas in his house, but that he wanted his sister-in-law and her aunt, Barbara, with him. Preferably without high-school drama.

"_Barbara is flying in tomorrow," Larry announced. "The first plane they could get." _

"_Wh-What?" _

"_Yes. Richard will come too. And Brooke." _

_Larry Sawyer and Barbara Summers had grown up together swinging in trees and rolling in the mud. However, despite their busy play-schedule, they teased Barbara's little sister Anna every chance they could get. When years later, Larry fell in love with that little sister and eventually married her, his bond with his love's older sister would only grow stronger. _

_Anna had often watched her husband and sister interact with a jealous eye but knew friendship was as far as they had ever come and would ever get. Well, maybe that hadn't been completely true: they hadn't been just friends anymore; they had become brother and sister. _

"_B-But dad..." _

"_Is that a problem?" _

_She bowed her head ashamed. "Off course not." _

"_Barbara has told me about what happened between you, Brooke and Lucas," he confessed. "I'm disappointed." _

"_You have no right to be," she let slip out. Followed by an 'I'm sorry'. _

_He ignored it because he knew he had been a bad father these last years. Although she was a confused girl, he had never thought she'd seek her solace in drugs and to tell the truth, he hadn't had the strength to deal with it back then. In his defense, she had been a true horror around age sixteen._

_Anyway, she had kept that dark half year from him and when he had called her one night, to ask her how she was; she had spat everything out with hate and ordered him to never come back. She was more moderate now. Mature. However, sometimes she still failed in pushing away her frustration and anger towards him. _

"_But I hope you can bury your differences," Larry continued. "Because I'd like to have my family by my side now." _

_She nodded. _

Later, when Lucas had left for class, the blonde decided to clean up a bit. As she ran her cloth over the mantel shelf, the sight of a new picture on there caught her eye. Or better: an old one. She took the wooden frame in her hands and scrutinized it. It was one of her and her father made when he had gone fishing with her. She looked bored like hell while he stood there proudly with a fish dangling next to her curls.

She smiled at his lack of subtleness. There was sweetness to his desperation to make everything right and she hoped they'd manage to leave the awkwardness that still hung between them behind in the coming days. When he came into the room and saw her looking at their picture, he smiled too.

"Hi."

She put the picture back. "Hi."

They locked eyes. Their gazes left each other when another snow shower, waving through the sky, drew their attention. "You want to go out for a walk?" Peyton asked. "When it has stopped snowing?"

"No. I want to go out while it's snowing."

x

_…A time to kill, and a time to heal;  
a time to break down, and a time to build up…_

Nathan glanced at the redhead in the couch next to him. After her outburst they had quickly gone back to being friends which meant a lot of teasing, bantering and hanging out together. However, as close as they had been, an event last week had lifted their relationship to an even higher level.

_Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Rachel stumbled out of her bedroom. Not long after, some strange guy did the same. Nathan beheld it from the couch disapproving. This was the second one in two weeks. When the guy asked for her phone number, she said 'no'; that it had been just sex, that she didn't even know his name anymore and that she -to tell the truth- also didn't feel any desire to know. She finished with 'Please leave now'. _

"_What?" she asked Nathan, who stood up to go to the kitchen whilst shaking his head. _

"_You're ruining your life," he answered clearly irritated. "You just have no self-respect whatsoever!"_

_She glared at him long and deadly. "You said it right, Nathan. **My** life. That means you shouldn't interfere with it!" _

"**_Your life's a part of mine now!_**_" Nathan suddenly shouted. He looked really upset and the redhead was mesmerized. "You're a good person, Rachel," he spoke calmer. "I hate to see you degrade yourself to this kind of behavior."_

_Her eyes went glazy at his words; he touched her heart. But she didn't mind this time. He was uttering the words she had awaited for so long. _

"_You're my best friend right now," he continued "and I care about you like I know you've cared about me these last months an-" A bit surprised, Nathan looked down at the head pressed against his chest and then slowly wrapped his arms around Rachel's body. "Don't do it again," he ordered after a while. "Don't let yourself be used. You deserve better." _

_She shook her head. Ever since Ben, she had been hopping from bed to bed and although she had promised herself to stop every time she crept out of some guy's room, she had never actually done it. Now she would. Something in her told her she would. Because someone cared. Because Nathan cared. _

However, he wasn't thinking about that right now. No, for the first time in months, he was running his eyes over a girl in a non-platonic way. She was reading a book and had reading glasses on. As she turned a page, one of her fiery locks slipped from behind her ear and she tucked it back.

"I know I look stupid…" she said whilst looking up with a smile. "But it's just glasses, Nathan."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Just glasses."

The redhead reprised reading. Except for Nathan, she had taken an interest into another guy too. Ethan. He was tall, blonde, had deep-brown eyes and constantly hung around Morgan, where she worked and where they only sold women's wear. He seemed to have fallen for her like a brick. _Why_, she didn't know, but she enjoyed his attention.

"Hey," she spoke after a while. "You want to go ice-skating tomorrow morning?"

Nathan bit his bottom lip. He _hated_ ice-skating and this question had been asked to him many times, by a certain petite brunette. He missed Haley. However, as unbelievable as it was, the pain of losing her wasn't present at _all_ times anymore. Yesterday, when he had crawled into bed, he had had to establish he hadn't thought about Haley all day. Times were changing. And maybe he should too.

"Sure."

x

_…A time to weep, and a time to laugh;  
a time to mourn, and a time to dance… _

The snow cracked under their feet as they strolled over the Central Park Bridge; their arms intertwined. Larry laughed hearty when she told him the story about the guy kissing her here and Lucas' displeased face and hour-long whining upon that. She just babbled and babbled to him about her life in New York until she noticed he bowed his head.

"What is it? Are you tired? Should we go home?" she asked concerned.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," he answered. "For all of it. The good and the bad."

"I am too," Peyton nodded. "And honestly… I don't know if I'll ever forget how you...How you weren't there. " She shook her curls. "But I forgive you. There's just too little time left. Oh," she sighed out when she realized what she had just said. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not. It's the truth. But let's try to forget that for a while and just walk... I've never seen New York this beautiful, Peyton."

She nodded with tears in her eyes.

"I need you to remember we had wonderful times too and I don't want you to give up on those," he spoke.

"We had," she squeezed out of her throat. "And I won't."

The continued walking and she told him about how she was sorry for hurting her cousin, her family, but that she truly felt Lucas was the One. He didn't approve the way they had gotten together, but she was his daughter and saw he made her happy so he lived with it.

"So what are you going to do? Party?" Larry asked when they stumbled upon the subject of New Year's Eve.

"Are you crazy?" she asked in disbelief. "I'm staying with you."

"Peyton, sweetheart, New Year's Eve is to be spent with your friends."

"Dad, I c-"

"I'm spending it with my friends," he shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Larry nodded. "Don and Patrick are coming over. Their wives dumped them because they were never home," he explained. "And they were both cheating on them. Alicia with the gardener and Sarah with the milkman."

Peyton's jaw dropped at the laughter that left her father's mouth. "Dad, that isn't funny."

He looked up in his daughter's non-believing eyes. "Oh, come on, where's your sense of humor? I can see you smile!!"

"OK," she admitted. "Maybe it's a little bit funny. But still you shouldn't laugh at it!"

He cracked another smile before continuing. "So anyway…Unless you want to spend your New Year's Eve with two blubbering, grown men, I suggest you go celebrate with your friends."

"But I thought you wanted to spend time with me…"

"I do, more than anything but there's a difference between that and keeping you from living your life."

"You wouldn't," she insisted.

"Look," he sighed. "I can manage a couple of hours without you and the day after, we'll go eat at the Bay Leaf. And the boy can come too."

"We'll go the restaurant," Peyton said. "But I'm staying with you on New Year's Eve."

"B-"

"I don't mind. I'll even hand out tissues."

x

_…A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together… _

For one of the little times in their relationship, Lucas woke up earlier than Peyton. He slept at her house a lot lately, to keep her company, to support her and just to be with her. Softly he pushed a curl behind her ear. The stabs she sent out with words and the wounds she gave with glares were the first thing he had seen from her. Nonetheless he had fallen in love and now that he saw her caring side, towards her father, he fell in love all over again.

He bowed over and kissed her cheek softly before lowering his lips to her mouth. Not that he wanted her to wake up but feeling her lips open under his made him smile. When they pulled back, she smiled back at him softly. Ironically enough, seeing her so in this bliss left him with a bittersweet feeling because he knew her happiness would soon be taken away.

"Good morning."

"Good morning," she mumbled back.

"I'm going downstairs. Table. Breakfast."

While he was changing coffee filters, Larry came in and sat down on the chair. "Morning, boy," he greeted. He never called him 'Lucas'. Always 'boy'. "Where is my daughter?"

Lucas head turned red as a beet.

"I don't like you having sex with my baby girl," Larry further complained.

"Dad!" Peyton cried out as she entered the room. "Don't discuss my sex-life with my boyfriend!"

"With whom else then?"

"You've taken your painki-," the blonde changed the subject but stopped and reprised. "I mean your pills?"

"The blue or the red ones?"

"Don't mock this!" she shouted appalled. "Did you or did you not take your pills?"

"Which one brought you to the Matrix again?" he asked in deep thought.

"Dad!"

Lucas looked over his shoulder. "The red one."

"Seen the Matrix?"

"Who hasn't?" he asked as if someone who hadn't seen the film would be a freak of nature. "My favourite part is in the second one where Neo knocks all those Mr. Smiths down with the iron bar an-"

"Luke!" Peyton hissed before pointing his attention on her father again. "So d-"

"Peyton,-"

"Have you taken your pills?"

"I did but I wonder why the boy hasn't dumped you yet, you're nagging my ears off."

As they began bickering, Lucas broke eggs in a bowl to make pancakes. His culinary art was one of the reasons why Peyton had been allowed to have Lucas over at her house. Whenever Lucas took a pan, his head shot up from the sofa to ask him what he was going to prepare. He got the talent from his mother Karen.

"Blackberry, boy," he suddenly addressed the cooking blonde.

"Dad, you can at least ask him politely!"

"I let him sleep in my house!"

"Not as a slave!"

Lucas only chuckled. The times that those two sat quietly together were countable on one hand yet he loved their interaction. A bit later, he presented his creation to her father.

"Good boy," that one said.

Peyton rolled her eyes as her father laughed and Lucas tried to suppress a smile. Not that he liked to be spoken to like a dog but his girlfriend's reaction to the teasing amused him.

"You're welcome Mr. Sawyer."

x

_…A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing… _

Next to the skating ring stood a huge Christmas tree that people had to walk around when they wanted to enter the Laura Ashley store. Nathan pushed himself up from the ice for the thousandth time to have his eyes fall on a twirling, jumping Rachel.

"_Don't you know?" she asked helping Nathan getting up. "I used to practice figure skating." _

No, he hadn't known but he knew this was payback for the time he took her jogging. His eyes widened as the red-haired menace came skating towards him maniacally. Backing away, he fell on his ass yet again. She laughed and began pulling his arm.

"Come on, Nate," she urged. "The goal is to slide over the ice, not sit on it."

"You're hilarious, Gattina!"

When she was about to skate away, he wrapped his arms around her bomber jack and they both fell down.

"No fair, you can't do that!" she complained.

Eventually she ceased to struggle and gazed up into his deep-blues with an amused smile. "Your nose is very red," she noticed. "You look like Rudolph." She loved to tease people but with him, she adored to. It was easy to get him worked up and the pout that usually followed was very cute.

He stared back. To tell the truth, he had barely heard her insult, let alone would he react to it. She could be bitchy as hell but she was the one who had pulled him through these last months with her intelligence, fire and surprising care. She made him feel alive. Unwarily, his hands shifted from her wrist to intertwine with hers.

Rachel gazed at his hands and then into his dark-blue eyes. Where had the light-heartedness gone to? This wasn't good. Mocking was her defense. Why wasn't he reacting? And why for God's sake did her heart ache so much? Deep down, she knew the answer. Not even 'deep down', really, she simply knew why. She was in love. It was not a feeling she had chosen; it had just attacked her out of nowhere.

Her breath staggered when his head suddenly lowered. What was he doing? Falling asleep? Why were his eyes scanning her face then? Wait. Was he going to…kiss her? He was! _Code blue, code blue._ Love plus kiss equals eventual pain. She turned her head away swiftly.

"The owner doesn't like it when people stay on the ice for too long," she pointed out.

"Ummm…" Nathan crawled off her body with burning cheeks. Where had that come from? Holiday loneliness, maybe? But it hadn't felt like that. Was he falling for her? Was that possible? "I know," he answered more confused than ever.

In a swift motion, she stood back up. They locked eyes for a second. Both had felt there was a spark between them yet were also aware they weren't over their previous loves. Suddenly, Rachel shot in action and mischievously pushed him over yet again. Nathan gathered all his courage, stood up and began skating after her.

What neither of them knew was that a figure from afar was watching them.

The brunette glanced at her love-interest and then at Nathan. She felt a sharp sting in her heart because he looked so happy and careless. She hated herself for being so jealous. It was _her_ who had left _him_ to figure things out, began dating other people whilst enjoying her freedom and had really no reason to be pissed off at the sight in front of her.

Yet although she was pissed of, she was also relieved that opposed to last time, he wasn't almost drinking himself to death. She frowned. How could this be? She had left Nathan to figure things out but was now even more confused.

"Do you know them? David asked.

"We used to be…friends," Haley answered.

"Well, those two are more than friends," he noticed. His eyes were still on Nathan and Rachel, who were pushing, tugging and holding on to each other while laughing and screaming. He nodded. "Definitely more than friends."

x

_…A time to get, and a time to lose …_

Peyton tore the calendar paper off to reveal a block-lettered 'December 24th'. In the morning, she went to the baker to get a brioche- a French bread- to eat with her father and Lucas, who had further run off to watch the last part of The Matrix trilogy. Near three PM, Lucas had left to help his uncle Keith set everything up.

His mother would be coming and also Rachel would attend dinner. Since her parents were walking around somewhere in the Caribbean, she had no one to spent Christmas with and so the Scott brothers had first asked Keith and then suggested Rachel she'd come over.

It was now six PM and Peyton couldn't stop biting her nails. For the first time since months, she'd see Brooke again. She was nervous and almost _scared_ to face her. "Peyton, sweetie," Larry spoke upon seeing her anxiety. "It's OK. You don't have to act like your best friends but you are adults now and I trust you'll both act like it."

The bell rang. Trembling all over her body, Peyton walked to the door and when she opened it, she was welcomed by a firm hug of her aunt. The woman could care less about what had happened between her daughter and her niece. Eight years ago, she had lost her sister, and now she'd lose her brother too. Overwhelmed with sorrow, the brunette flew past Peyton to throw her arms around Larry.

"It's OK," she heard her father say.

"It's not, it's not!" her aunt Barbara shouted crying. "You should've told us earlier."

"I didn't know until a month ago," Larry defended himself.

"But you just told us the day before yesterday!"

Peyton and Larry locked eyes and the blonde suddenly knew who she had this tendency to shut people out from.

"This shouldn't be happening to someone this young," Richard Davis greeted his niece with an agonized expression in his face. Brooke's father walked further into the room and went to sit down opposite her father, on their coffee table.

Now she stood eye in eye with her dimpled cousin. They gazed at each other long before Peyton bowed her head. She had been the one screwing up what they had, she should look away. "I'm sorry," Brooke then calmly spoke. "No matter what you have done, no one deserves what you went through in the past and will have to go through again."

x

_…A time to keep, and a time to cast away… _

After dinner, everyone now sat in the couch, their watery eyes fixed on a white screen. Barbara had brought family videos along and although he loved her for caring; it felt kind of like he was already dead with all those people around him sobbing. Richard was wiping his eyes with a handkerchief as the women shed so many tears they could fill a bathtub with them.

The images displayed on the screen now were of Larry and Anna's wedding and Larry couldn't help but sob along. "Damn it, woman," Larry growled at his friend. "What are you doing to us?"

She pressed on the forward button and the kissing couple faded into little Peyton and little Brooke running through the park. They must've been about four. Reaching the pond, they stopped to feed the ducks. Everything was peaceful until Peyton's ducks swam away.

"_P!" Brooke squealed upset. "Get away from my duckies!" _

_The little blonde gave her a death-glare and bumped her butt into Brooke's. "They're my duckies now," she announced and began throwing crumbs at the ducks formerly owned by Brooke Davis, who walked away disgruntled. _

"_Mommy, she stole my duckies!" the mini-brunette shouted. _

"_Did not!" _

"_Did to!" _

"_Did not" _

"_Did to and you also broke Auntie Anna's flower pot yesterday!" _

"_You promised you wouldn't tell!" the blonde yelled panicky. _

"_Well, I lied." _

Larry laughed. "I see not a lot has changed since then."

Simultaneously the cousins cried out:

"Uncle Larry!'

"Dad!"

The green-eyed girls stared appalled at their parents, who were laughing themselves silly at their problems. Richard was slowly turning purple, Barbara let out horse-like shrieks and Larry didn't even make a sound, he just jolted. How could this amuse them? "It isn't funny!" Brooke's loud, raspy voice sounded non-believing. "She slept with my boyfriend!"

"She told him about my past before I had the chance to!" Peyton retorted. _And he was really mean_, she mentally added.

Larry's laughter slowly died out. "Oh, kids…" he sighed out. "It isn't worth it." He shook his head. "It just isn't worth it."

_x _

_…A time to rend, and a time to sew;  
a time to speak, and a time to keep silence. _

Hours later, the adults called it a night, leaving their daughters alone. There was a Christmas marathon on and currently, avaricious Ebenezer Scrooge graced the television. Peyton tore her eyes away from the old, greedy man to gaze at her cousin, thinking about her father's words. She sighed and went back to watching a 'Christmas Carol'. Not long after, Brooke turned her head at her cousin too.

Three weeks after she had broken up with Lucas, she had found a new love. No one knew it. Why not? Well, because he was fifteen years older than her. She had met him at Ralph Lauren. When Brooke had noticed a tiny rip in her black dress and the sales girl had been giving her a hard time concerning a refund, she had simply marched to the CEO's office.

Security and walkie-talkies had been sent to floor four but fortunately too late. In two minutes, she had been granted a full refund and made the top dog of the NY Ralph Lauren fortress fall head over heels in love with her. And the feeling had been mutual. It had been then she had noticed how pale her feelings for Lucas had actually been.

Lucas Scott had just been... the first 'good guy' she had been with. Her first love. However, now she knew a first love didn't necessarily have to mean your truest or your strongest. Owen Hirson was the name of the man who had made her realize that; he was Scottish, tall and black-haired with brown eyes and she was completely devoted to him.

When he had asked her out on a date, she had said 'yes' with the prospect of sex, nothing more yet they hadn't slept together that night or any of the nights that followed. Even when she had lured him into a hot tub, she hadn't succeeded into having sex with him. He respected her and didn't want to take advantage, he had explained. It was new and last month, when he had taken her to Scotland, she had finally given into it.

For a moment, she had doubted his love since he had made her walk through nature and goat crap in the designer boots she had insisted to wear but a sudden moment; he had stopped walking and waited for her to join him. When she had, he had told her everything there is to know about himself while looking over the twilight-bathed valley where his roots lay.

After he had finished, she had followed his example and told her everything about her life. Hardly two months, and they had let each other all the way in. They slept together that night, in his childhood home and it had touched every level of perfection.

"Peyton," she broke the quietness. "What do you think your father meant earlier?"

The blonde turned her head to lock eyes with Brooke, who waited for her answer.

"Uh, I think that he meant that life's too short to hold a grudge."

"Yeah," she nodded.

They fell into a silence wherein Peyton just beheld her cousin. Don't be mistaken, Brooke Penelope Davis had sharp, wounding claws when attacked or hurt but they came out just because of those reasons. She had a golden goodness in her and Peyton knew she had scratched it by betraying her.

"Brooke," Peyton touched the silence carefully. "I'd like to ask you for forgiveness."

A glazy coat covered the brunette's eyes when she looked into her cousin's emeralds. She didn't know what it was: the fact that this whole situation was emotionally heavy for her too or the sincerity shining through in Peyton's words. Either way, she was deeply touched.

"And I'd like to give you that," Brooke replied as tears spilled out of her eyes. Without thinking, she flew out of the sofa she had been sitting in and crawled next to her cousin to wrap her arms around her. "And I'm so, so sorry about your dad," she sighed out. "So sorry."

Peyton threw her arms around her cousin's neck and broke out into sobs. She had needed this: to be forgiven by her. They shared the same blood. Summers' blood and soon, together with Barbara, she'd be her only family left. So she held the brunette in her arms, Brooke Peyton in hers and together, they cried silently.

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To be honest, I've never even touched a bible. I've been in a catholic school for eleven years now so yeah...I should've paid more attention the four times a year we went to church 'cause I didn't know the poem I wanted to use was from the bible at first; I just thought it was pretty…Shame on me, I guess :P. 

About the story: LP drama will inevitably come but just not yet. But soon. Then the NR... I can imagine it must be hard to picture NH with anyone else than each other for you guys. My sister hates the NR –pouts-.

Anyway, let me now what you think!


	10. Land of Confusion

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. So anyway, this was kind of a hard chapter for me. I know where I want to go with this story but the problem now is getting there. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

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10. Land of Confusion 

_ I'm here, with you, beside you,  
to guard you and to guide you... _

Together they sat in the darkness, admiring the heart wrenching music and breathtaking costumes of _Phantom of the Opera_. Peyton found it important to somehow make up for time lost by creating beautiful memories like this one with her father. The voices of the actors were so pure, the emotions of agonize and love so perfectly transferred that both father and daughter had lost their fight against the tears.

"Dad, you can't cry!" Peyton laughed through her tears. "You're a guy!"

"It's just so beautiful," he sighed out while dipping his eyes with his handkerchief. "So beautiful. I'm rooting for the phantom."

"What?" Peyton scrunched her nose. "How can you root for the phantom? He's so mean."

"He's tortured," Larry protested. "Don't you always s-"

"Dad, please don't compare me to the Phantom of the Opera!"

When they were back home, the two of them talked about the musical for about another hour or so until Larry decided to call it a night, noticeably tired. While Peyton was watching Friends, the front door opened and revealed Lucas in his Food Lion uniform.

"Hello, boy," she smiled.

He went to sit beside her and kissed her lips. Despite her initial protests, she had taken over her father's nickname for him and often called him 'boy'.

"I'm glad you're spending so much time with your dad, girl."

Peyton laughed and cupped his face. "I love you." She bowed over to his cheek. "You're so sweet." She lowered her lips closer to his mouth. "And good," she now breathed against his lips. "And I don't know what I'd do without you."

Later in the evening, Peyton calmly sat against the headboard of her bed, reading one of Lucas' books. _The Unbearable Lightness of Being_. The most interesting words to her, though, were the little notes by Lucas in the margin; she loved reading his thoughts and found they also helped her reading this quite complicated book.

When her boyfriend returned from the bathroom, she looked up. "So has Georgia tried to seduce you today?" she asked while turning a page. Georgia was a raven-haired girl who worked with Lucas at the supermarket and had taken notice of her colleague's good looks.

"She doesn't tr-"

"Oh, she does," the blonde immediately objected. "She's trying to lure you into her bed, that seductress."

"Come on, Peyt..." he answered as he crawled under the sheets too. "She's just being nice. You know, nice, as in sweet, sociable-"

"Lucas Scott," Peyton gasped out appalled and lowered the book. "Are you suggesting I'm not a nice girl?"

"You're very nice," Lucas said while wrapping her arms around her upper body and pulling her close. "When your asleep," he added.

When she tapped his chest, he just smiled. "You know, if you come to pick me up at the store tomorrow, I can introduce you to her. Oh wait..."

"What?" Peyton asked.

"I forgot you're going on a date with your professor tomorrow." A couple of days ago, Mr. Alekseyev had invited her to a photo exhibition by Salma Morison. Only her. No other students and although the man was a genius, the tons of attention he gave _his_ girlfriend began to bug him now.

"It's not a date!" Peyton immediately protested.

"Sure not."

"You know what Alekseyev says about jealousy?" Peyton asked smiling.

"I don't want to know what Alekseyev says about jealousy," he childishly replied.

"He says…" the curly blonde began nonetheless and put her nose in the air. "My dear students," she spoke in a French accent. "As my fellow Frenchman François de la Rochefoucauld once wrote, 'Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty'."

Lucas laughed. "Say the guy's name again."

She kissed him playfully before resting her hands on his cheeks. "François de la Rochefoucauld," she repeated effortlessly.

"You're so cute speaking French."

"I was always at the top of my class for French," Peyton proudly announced. "But aren't you certain about me?"

"No, I trust you," he reassured her. "Just not _him_. He asked you to go to an art exhibition. " Lucas eyes almost narrowed to splits. "That's not appropriate for a professor."

"Luke, you're overreacting," she brushed his comment off.

He shrugged vexed and looked away. "Are you going?"

"To the exhibition? I don't know," she hesitated. "Off course I'd like to, it's Salma Morison but I'd feel bad about leaving my dad alone."

"You have to go," he answered slightly reluctant and looked back at her. "I know you love her work and I or Brooke's parents can stay with your father for a couple of hours. It's just...I don't have a good feeling with that guy."

She placed her hand on his cheek. "You don't have any reason to be jealous," Peyton reassured him. "I'm hopelessly devoted to you, Danny," she jokingly added.

Lucas sighed. "Alright then, Sandy..." he smiled. "Hey, I still didn't ask you…" he changed the subject. "How the musical was. Did you have fun? I heard it's really good."

"It was," Peyton confirmed. "He cried," she then smiled. "My dad, he cried."

"Larry Sawyer cried?" Lucas asked amused.

"Yes," she smiled. "The last time I…" Her smile disappeared as she thought back about her mother's funeral yet again and automatically about her father's future one. "God… Why can't I just keep myself together? It must be a hundred times worse for him and yet I'm the one breaking down every five seconds!"

"Oh, Peyt," he sighed out and tucked a curl behind her ear. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's just…It isn't fair, you know," she sighed. "I'm so happy because I finally have my dad back but... But he'll be taken away from me **again** and I _hate_ it! I hate that he's dying and I hate myself for being so selfish! I…I want him to be alive just for me. How screwed up is that?"

"It's isn't. You have the right to be hurting," he protested. "And you're not being selfish at all. I have never seen you so _selfless _actually."

"But I treated him so badly, I-"

"You're making up for it," he cut her off. "He knows you love him."

"You think so?"

"I _know_ so."

x

Surrounded by a pack of business men, artists and other intellectuals, Peyton stared at the black-and white pictures hanging on the wall in front of her. Especially the picture of the girl with the teary eyes mesmerized her; it was as if she had first cried only to burst into laughter and the blonde knew she'd soon experience those feelings reversed.

From a distance, Jourdan was observing her. When suddenly an auburn-haired beauty stepped next to him, he briefly looked up but quickly fixed his eyes on Peyton again. "Leave the girl alone, Jourdan," the blue-eyed woman ordered tediously.

"I will." He paused and nipped his champagne. "After I've slept with her."

"You're a bastard."

"I have the right to be," he answered simply. "I'm more intelligent than ninety- nine percent of the people in here and definitely richer."

"God, I can't believe your ego…"

"Why are you getting so worked up about it, Juju? You of all people should know this isn't uncommon behavior for me."

"Judith. My name is _Judith,_" she emphasized vexed. "And to answer your question, because I've seen you two talking. You're obviously like a mentor to her. She's still a young, mouldable girl and it's wrong for you to take advantage of that."

"My status alone won't get her in bed," he spoke troubled. "I'm afraid it's going to be harder than that; she's quite attached to her boyfriend."

"Ha!" Judith let out pleased. "Good for her."

"No, exasperating for me. She's insanely beautiful but I swear if she says the name 'Lucas' once more, I'll go absolutely mad. I know more about him than about her," he complained scowling. "So… you know Dardenne is going on a holiday before the summer, right?"

"If 'holiday' means 'flying to El Hierro and bang your mistress', _yes_."

"Either way," he brushed her comment off with obvious indifference. "They've asked me to take his place since I -"

"Are we getting to the point any time soon? You're losing my interest."

"I'll just ask her to accompany me to Paris. Intern, assistant, I don't know how I'll call it yet but that doesn't really matter. Which American art student would give up the chance to spent the summer in Le Louvre? Whenever I hear Americans talks about Paris, they look like they're on the verge of an orgasm. I'll take her walking along la Seine, dîner à la Citrus Étoile…she won't be able to resist me."

"By the time it's summer, you'll have moved on to the next one," she waved his words away.

"I have enough women to entertain me while I wait for her. Toi par exemple," he changed languages. "J'ai reservé une chambre ici… Que penses-tu d-"

"In your dreams," she cut him off. "I think you are _disgusting_ and I'm not sleeping with you _now_ or any other time, _again_. Is that clear?"

"That's not exactly what you said two months ago, Juju. If I remember correctly,-"

"Don't."

With a sigh, he obeyed her and for a while, they remained standing on their spot just silently staring at Peyton, who was truly enthralled by the photographs surrounding her. "Ses jambes…" he then mumbled.

"Stop drooling over her legs!" Judith ordered disgusted.

Shaking her head, the auburn-haired woman watched how her once bed partner walked over to the young girl. To tell the truth, she was surprised the blonde hadn't caved yet. How arrogant as he was, Jourdan had a lot of charisma and if he was after you, you'd inescapably get captured.

x

Complaining grumbles left Nathan's throat as he wiggled inside the living room with a bucket in his left hand hand. Rachel had decided it was time they'd clean the house and had ordered Nathan to help along. In the background, Kiss sounded since Rachel had figured fluffy music of the eighties would cheer her roommate up.

However, after an hour of mopping the floor and dusting the various shelves in their flat, Nathan still wasn't very cheerful. A first smiled appeared on his face when Rachel began to move to the melody of _I Just Can't Get Enough_. She came closer to him, loudly singing 'It's getting hotter, it's a burning love and I just can't seem to get enough of...Come on Nate! Dance," she added between her off-key tones.

Somewhat reluctant, he let himself get dragged along to the middle of their just-cleaned floor. After a few seconds, he gave in and slipped his arm around her waist. "Where did you learn to dance like this?" she asked impressed when he rolled her out of his arm only to pull her back in an elegant twirl.

"Actually, my mom," he answered. "We used to dance together when I was littler, and she was still addiction-free."

Rachel laughed when the sight of Deb and Nathan dancing together flashed in front of her eyes. "I-"

"No, talking...Singing Gattina!" he ordered.

In unison, they sang at the top of their lungs: "You're like an angel and you give me your love  
And I just can't seem to get enough...I just can't get enough..."

When the music stopped, they just remained smiling at each other.

"That was fun..." she softly said. He nodded.

A sexually loaded tension rushed in wherein they simply stared into each other's eyes. Slowly, Nathan bowed over and this time, Rachel didn't turn her head away. Their lips were less than an inch apart until suddenly, the distance between their heads widened again.

With disappointment, they both looked at Rachel's cellphone. The redhead then quickly walked to the couch and flipped her cell open.

"Rachel Gattina."

"Hey, Rach," sounded from the other end of the line.

"Peyton..." She smiled. "How are you doing?"

In the meanwhile, Nathan picked up the duster and began to run it over the mantel shelf of their fireplace. So apparently he had feelings for Rachel. Real feelings because... She and what he felt for her wasn't rebound-material. How could it be? This girl didn't have anything in common with Haley, except maybe her sharpness of mind. For the rest, she was quite blunt, somewhat of a bully and not nice at all, really. On the other hand, she was funny as hell, independent and had a sparkling fire in her. A fire that came out right now.

"Brooke?" sounded displeased. "Th-"

Peyton had just told Rachel how she'd go shopping with Brooke for a birthday present for her father this afternoon.

"Let me finish," Peyton cut her off. "I was calling to ask if you'd like to come with us."

"Uh..." She hesitated for a moment. "Isn't it some kind of family thing?"

"Look...Brooke is my cousin, yes, but you are just as important for me now. You have never judged me and these last months...Rach, you've been amazing, you're the best friend support a girl can wish for." The blonde paused a second. "You're _my_ best friend."

"I am?" Rachel asked touched.

"You are," she confirmed. "So come with me, you silly."

"OK," the redhead accepted.

x

Sighing deeply at the bickering girls in her hall, Peyton went through the content of her purse to check if her keys were in there. She had already begun to regret her idea of asking them both to join her; they were like Satan and...Satan. A feeling of desperation crept upon her when she actually found her keys; it meant she had to spent the afternoon with these two devils, or at least they were devils in each other's presence.

After two hours of hearing the two of them argue and insulting each other's figure in every store, Peyton suggested they'd go drink a coffee. However, caffeine seemed to make them even more snappy.

"So, _Rachel_..." Brooke began sharply. "How is it?"

"How is what?"

"Hitting on married men."

"Oh," Rachel gasped out disgruntled. "You know, anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice."

"Well, at least I'm not a husband-stealing whorebag."

"Brooke, be fair here," Peyton interrupted. "Haley did leave Nathan. Rachel just helped him through."

"Hmmmm...I didn't know 'helping through' meant 'making out on the ice'."

"We didn't make out!" she protested. "And how do you know we went ice-skating?"

"Haley saw you two, poor girl."

"Look, Brooke," Rachel began. "First of all, Haley left him and secondly...I didn't make out with him. We were having fun!"

"It's true," Peyton again cut in. "She's just supporting him."

"Make that _seducing_," Brooke insisted before taking a sip of her cappucino. Peyton almost invisibly smiled thinking about how she herself stubbornly repeats how Georgia wants to get it on with Lucas.

Rachel threw her a long and deadly look upon which Brooke after a while groaned annoyed. "What?"

"I was just thinking..." the redhead began. "...how you're about as good-looking as a cross between the Elephant Man and a Rottweiler."

"You whore!" was the raspy response.

"Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black," Rachel fired back.

Amused, Peyton watched as the two began to throw put-downs back and forward. However, after a while of watching Brooke and Rachel calling each other the most horrible of names, the blonde stood up and left the tearoom they were sitting in. Brooke and Rachel followed her.

While her cousin and her friend were practically pulling each other's hair in the middle of the street, Peyton calmly walked along the many display windows, some of which had already begin to show Valentine suggestions and gifts. When she walked past the entrance of a dark alley, something more obscure caught her eye. Hesitantly Peyton stepped inside the alley and approached the shape sitting on the cold stones.

"Ada?" she asked almost inaudible.

The girl in front of her looked up with trembling body. Peyton almost backed away upon seeing her face, which was ashen with dark circles under her eyes. However, what shocked the blonde the most were her teeth. From the beginning, Peyton had always injected her drugs, never smoked them and although her heroin addiction wasn't something she was proud off, she -in this somewhat shallow moment- praised herself lucky for never having done 'tooting'. In this way of taking heroine, the drug is melted before smoked, which often causes rotten teeth in the long run.

It almost made Peyton cry remembering what a pretty girl Ada had once been. She had flaming, red locks and the deepest blue eyes one had ever seen but the beauty her appearance had once radiated had vanished completely. The blonde had first met her around the time she had also met Jake.

"Who are you?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Peyton..."

"Who are you?" she asked louder, which caused Peyton to become a bit nervous.

"P-Peyton, I used too-"

"He, he has kicked me out," Ada said panicky. "He has kicked me out; he has kicked me out..." the red-haired girl continued to repeat.

"Calm down, Ada..." Peyton then ordered. "Who has kicked you out?"

"He has kicked me out...Brian..."

Immediately Peyton realized what had happened and to tell the truth, she was surprised he hadn't got tired of her earlier. From the time she had spent with fellow addicts –person she would've mistakenly called 'friends' back then, she had spent the most time at Brian's flat.

Brian was basically the alpha male of the gang she had once been a part of and hence had the most power. If he decided you didn't fit in the gang anymore, he got rid of you and made sure everybody else would follow his lead in ignoring you. Peyton personally had never experienced that, mostly because Jake had gotten her out before things could've escalated further, but had seen it happen plenty of times.

Suddenly Ada rose from her spot on the cold stones and came face to face with Peyton. The blonde glanced at her upper arm slightly panicky when the redhead in front of her grabbed it.

"Please, Ada..." she tried while attempting to remove her hand.

"You have to help me..." the girl begged.

Peyton shook her head. "How can I?"

"Please, I n-"

"Peyton?" a voice suddenly sounded.

"P. Sawyer!" further echoed through the alley. "Come!"

"Oh God goodness gracious," Brooke sighed out when she looked over her shoulder to see Rachel approach the girl too. The brunette fiercely walked over to the two girls and grabbed their upper arms. "Come with me. With your history –_both you history_- you have to stay away from these kinds of people!" she reasoned. After taking another look at Ada, Brooke stepped further even quicker. "Sad..." she mumbled.

Oblivious to what to do, Peyton let herself get dragged along by her cousin. When the blonde looked over her shoulder shortly, she saw Ada's desperate face. She knew in that moment that face that'd be stuck in her mind until the day she'd die.

Hours later, when Peyton was simply sitting in the couch, the shock of seeing Ada again in the state she was in, after more than two years still hadn't worn off. With the tip of her thumb in her mouth and a blank stare in her eyes, she recalled the blue-eyed girl asking for help and thought about how she could've ended up that way too.

"Peyt?" a familiar male voice pulled her back to reality. Peyton looked up at Lucas who had a couple of books clutched under his arms."What's wrong?" he asked while taking a seat next to her.

For a moment she hesitated if she'd tell them but then began her story. "I saw someone today."

"Wh-"

"Ada." Peyton shortly paused. "She...She's a girl I used to know...Back when I...Back when I was addicted."

Lucas listened as she told him everything about Ada, about Brian and about her own time with Brian. However, neither of them knew her dad was listening and watching them from the hall. His daughter opened up to this boy in a way he could only dream off but he wasn't jealous. On the contrary, the scene displayed in front of his eyes relieved and reassured him.

Death scared him off course but what frightened him even more was the thought of leaving her alone. Peyton didn't handle losses very well, he had experienced after his wife had died. She had begun a road of self-destruction hence seeing her interact with Lucas so naturally somehow soothed him. She was in good hands this time. Better ones than his own.

x

Larry gazed down at his watch. Twenty February. Exactly hundred-and-nine days ago the diagnosis had been announced to him. If theory was always right, he should've been dead about three weeks ago. While he walked towards the couch, a dark haze suddenly covered his view. That hadn't been an oddity for a while yet now, the darkness and especially the feeling it gave him shook the man to his very core.

The spots slowly disappeared, revealing the sight of his daughter's boyfriend walking up to him. "Mr. Sawyer, are you alright?" Lucas asked worried as he led him to the couch.

Larry took a hold of his arm. "You'll take good care for her, right?" he asked with tears in his eyes. "When I'm gone?"

"Wh-Why…" Paleness washed over of Lucas' face. "Why are you saying this?"

"I remember one day," Larry ignored him "when I went to pick Peyton up at school and I found her facing a wall, crying." He looked at Lucas. "You know what she had done?"

"No…"

"She had freed the class frogs," he answered his own question. "It was like Egypt's second plague," he laughed. "I put her in the corner, yelled at her until after a while, she apologized. Then she just …went to play outside." He paused. "She was a careless child. Worries just passed her by… but I took such bad care for her. The conflict in her eyes after her mother died, I couldn't make it go away. I just couldn't make it go away."

"She loves you, sir," he offered. "I think she loves you even more than me."

"I know she loves me," Larry replied. "But the truth is that you succeeded where I failed. You made her worries disappear. Promise me you'll be there for her. When I'm dead."

"Don't speak like that!" Lucas ordered panicky.

"Why not?" he yelled back. "It's the truth! I'm dying!!!"

"Not today!"

Larry looked deeply into Lucas blue eyes and that's all he needed to do to make him jump up from the couch and run to the bathroom. What was he saying? It wouldn't be long anymore? The blonde was sure he was going to throw up but nothing came. It had been pure shock. He rubbed his eyes and slowly, walked back into the living room. Larry once again stared at him intensely but this time, Lucas answered his stare with the same intensity.

"I promise."

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So...I have to say I have some major, Brooke-like insecurities concerning this chapter. This is mostly a filler before the real deal begins (again). Anyway, tell me what you think!


	11. Broken Endings & Uncertain Futures

A/N: So I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews like always :) Also, I have to say that the previous chapter, well, I wasn't completely happy with it. It was a filler and I had trouble writing it so if it wasn't any good, I apologize. It was also a lot shorter than my usual update of 5000 words too. Anyway, I'm happy again with this (+5000 words-) chapter and I hope you guys enjoy it.

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11. Broken Endings and Uncertain Futures

_"Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But life looks different through everyone's eyes." - Mahatma Gandhi_

A tormented expression deformed Peyton's face as she reached in her purse to look for her keys. The beautiful blonde who was dressed in a short, black-velvet skirt, dark-green turtleneck and black boots with rounded toe and two inch heels , had been walking around with tortured feet ever since she had left her house this morning. She was sure if she'd take one of her expensive leather boots off and turn it, a pool of blood would come pouring out. Then why, do you wonder, was she wearing this outfit?

Well, when Brooke had asked her a week ago if she'd like to meet her boyfriend and Peyton had confirmed, the brunette had immediately advised her cousin to wear something more 'dressed-up'. Today Peyton had found out why there had been a dress code: Brooke P. Davis' boyfriend was Clive J. Hirson, CEO of NY Ralph Lauren and a man who apparently wasn't used to dining at 'Mc Donalds', the blonde had noticed when Brooke had escorted her into the Bay Leaf, one of New York fanciest restaurants.

Although Peyton had to admit she had been a bit shocked concerning the age gap between the two brunettes, she was happy for her cousin: Clive seemed like a good man and despite his wealth and high status in society, didn't look down on other people at all. On top of that, he let Brooke treat him the way she treats everyone, like lackeys that is, and instead of being aggravated by her dominant behavior, it looked like he found it cute.

Throwing her keys on their dark-wooden cupboard, the blonde quickly scanned the room for her father. When she couldn't see him at his usual spot in front of the TV, she walked further through the hall until she reached his room. Softly, she pushed the door of his bedroom open to see him laying with a bear-and-bows decorated album in his hands.

"Hi," she greeted.

Larry put the album on his lap and looked up. "That skirt is too short." He can still remember the first time his daughter had started wearing short skirts. It had been the first day at seventh grade and not much later boys began following her like puppy dogs. They all said they wanted help with their homework but Larry soon figured out why during their tutoring sessions, they asked his little girl to go get them a drink every ten minutes; those punks just wanted to see her walk to the kitchen.

"Da-ad," she complained while rolling her eyes. "This is a really expensive skirt! Don't insult it."

"It's because of clothes like that young girls get missing!"

"No," Peyton protested. "Young girls get missing because of sick people."

He sighed. "For once, can't you please **not** contradict me?"

"Sorry." She shrugged and took a seat next to him. "Besides, it's what we do." She moved her index finger between the two of them. "Yes, no; black, white; Paris, Nicole, t-"

"Who are Paris and Nicole?"

"Eh…" Peyton shortly stared at him as if he came from Mars. "Never mind," she then continued. "You don't want to know, really."

They began flipping through their family album which contained pictures of Peyton with teeth like a fair shooting booth, of Larry's Corvette, of Anna's flower arranging activities, of all possible holidays and off course of their Golden Retriever they had, in a less than creative manner, named 'Goldie'. After a while, they stumbled upon a picture of Peyton around nine years old, sitting on the floor surrounded by piles of obscure-looking records.

"Remember your mother tried to make you listen to those Mega Mindy songs?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "But when she turned her back, I listened to Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath."

"My CD's," Larry sharply pointed out.

She gave him a puppy dog look before they both went back to watching their pictures.

"You know what my favorite song is?" Peyton suddenly broke the silence.

"No..."

"What a Wonderful World. Like mom."

She now fully got his attention. "Really?" Lesser would his surprise have been if she had said 'Smells like Teen Spirit' or something. On the other hand, he could see a definite change in the attitude of his daughter now and two years ago. Except from the fact that she had matured, she had also gained hope in life and he felt she believed in the goodness of people again. It had been different once and he was happy to see how much she was grown.

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's full of hope, you know. I mean, that song just... makes sure you don't forget there _is_ good in the world. It reminds you that you have to look for greatness and purpose in everything. Even when times are rough. "

"Lucas?" he asked.

"Dad..." she began slightly insulted. "Yes, I love Lucas and he changed me for the better but I like to think I have contributed something to my own happiness. I mean, I like to see myself as an individual person rather than a clingy, dependent girlfriend."

"My daughter, the feminist…" he smiled.

"No…" Peyton protested. "I just want to live my life with Lucas beside me and not…" she paused and briefly thought about her words "above me."

"I don't want Lucas above you either," he replied. "Or under for that matter."

"Ewww, dad, please. I told you not to talk about sex!"

Upon turning the page, Larry pointed to a picture in the left-bottom corner. "Look here," he laughed.

Peyton covered her eyes with her hands. There her five year old self stood, with molested, self-cut curls. "Oh, no, that's awful," she cried out. "I can't believe you took a picture of that."

"_You_ thought it was awful? You mother was inconsolable, she cried for hours."

The blonde began to laugh. For all the bad memories she had, she realized she had an equal amount of good ones to even them out. However, suddenly it hit her how soon, she wouldn't be able to make new ones because, how hard it was to accept, he was going to die one of these days and even though both her father and Lucas had told her many times that the past was in the past, she couldn't help but still feel guilty about the hard time she had once put him through.

Her laughter slowly died out to fade into tears. "I'm sorry,' she now whimpered.

"Peyton..."

"I just," the blonde explained. "I don't want to lose you. There's so much I still want to do. Say. But I can't..." Quite roughly, she ran her hands over her moist cheeks. "Or I don't know how..."

"Peyton, look at me," Larry ordered and she immediately did what he asked. It's OK," he reassured her. "You don't need to say or do anything. Because I know..."

Peyton nodded and let out a small laugh to handle the whirlwind of emotions raging inside of her right. After once again wiping her tears, she snuggled up to him. It had been a while since she had laid in her father's arms but she felt good there now. Safe. Harbored.

"You know which song I like?" Larry asked softly. "Bridge over Troubled Water," he further answered his own question.

Peyton bit her lip in order to suppress more tears. Though she might not remember every word her father had said over the years, she did recall how he had once pointed out how he wanted either 'I Did It My Way' or 'Bridge over Troubled Water' to play at his funeral.

"I really like that song..." Larry almost inaudibly added.

"I like that song too..."

Hours later, Peyton's eyes opened and roamed the room until her gaze fell on the wall clock. Eight thirty-two PM. They must've fallen asleep. She frowned. There was something odd here. Something had altered. The blonde tore her eyes away from the clock and gazed at her father's chest.

It wasn't moving. Was he...? Softly, she straightened her body. Her trembling hand rose up to his face yet right before her fingers would reach his skin, she pulled her hand back. Instead, her eyes widened and she softly went to lay down again.

And then there was nothing: no tears, no screaming, no breakdowns.

Nothing.

x

With his nail-bitten thumb between his teeth, Lucas gazed at Peyton from his seat in the kitchen. Ever since he had laid eyes on this girl, he had been able to read her effortlessly but now it was like if she had closed her story to him, locked off her heart. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and give her comfort but she simply wouldn't let him.

_'Bridge over Troubled Water' echoed through the cold yet sun-filled air as the black varnished coffin slowly descended into the ground. Barbara had given the most beautiful speech earlier and everyone sitting in church had been sobbing, crying, weeping. Everyone, except for Peyton Sawyer, whose empty glance in her otherwise so fiery –if it was out of happiness or anger- eyes had been present ever since she woke up next to her father's cold, motionless body. _

_"Peyt?" Lucas tried. Softly, he placed his hand on her arm and felt her tense completely up. _

_Peyton turned her head to him. "I'm OK," she said and almost invisibly shuffled away from him. _

_Also as they left the graveyard and Lucas tried to hold her hand, she pulled away. Her action was like a cold stab. He had not expected this. Not at all. They were the perfect couple, on every single level. Now she almost couldn't stand his touch. But it would get better, right? She'd go through the mourning process at her own rate and then everything would go back to normal. _

For about a month now, Peyton lived together with him, Nathan and Rachel in their flat because Lucas hadn't felt comfortable leaving her alone in that big, empty house and after about a week of pleading, he had finally convinced her of moving in with them. However, she hardly talked to him. She hardly talked to _anyone_. Brooke, Rachel and even his brother had tried to make her open up, to show some emotions, _any_ emotions, but they had all miserably failed.

_After calling her name for a couple of times without success, Lucas walked further to the living room and eventually found her in the garage, burning her father's clothes. It shocked him to say the least. The funeral had taken place hardly three days ago and she was already emptying her father's room. Didn't she have to cry or something? Scream? Why wasn't she giving a sign of human emotion? _

_"What are you doing?" he asked. "Don't you want to keep some of his clothes?" _

_"Why?" she asked snappy. "He's gone, Lucas, I don't think he'll be needing them." _

_"For memories, to remem-" _

_"Look, I'm not like you, okay?" Peyton tore her eyes away from the fire. "I don't stand still too long, I move on." _

_"It hasn't even been a week ago!" _

_"Lucas, please!" she cried. "Let me deal with this in my own way!!!" _

On top of her impenetrability concerning her feelings, he was also clueless as to what her whereabouts were lately. Often –almost every day lately- she'd disappear a whole afternoon and whenever he'd ask where she had been, she simply answered: 'Out'.

Suddenly Peyton rose from the couch, put her coat on and walked to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Rachel this time asked.

"Out."

Immediately after the door closed, the redhead turned to Lucas. "You have to do something. Things can't go on like this." Hot tears shot in her eyes. This situation reminded her an awful lot of Ben, who had sought consolation in drugs after his father's death. Considering her past, the risk was even higher with Peyton and Rachel was immensely scared of her going down the same road as Ben had. She couldn't lose Peyton too. Because she _cared_, because was her best friend, and she had never had one of those…

"What?" he asked frustrated. "What can I do?! She doesn't talk to me!"

"Make her. That's what you're good at. Break down her walls."

"_God_, it isn't that easy, Rachel," Lucas said slightly rolling his eyes. "She doesn't want to! She keeps telling me I need to let her grieve. I'm doing what she asks!"

"You could at least stop her from going 'out' every five seconds. She has a-"

"History?!?" the blonde completed her sentence shouting. "Don't you think I know that?!?"

"No, I don't think you fully realize that!" she yelled back. "You're being so goddamn lax! Who knows what she's doing on the streets every day?!? You want her to end up like Ben did?!?"

A bit startled, Lucas stared at Rachel before he walked up to her and took the by now crying girl in his arms. "You're right," he said. "But I don't know what to do. I can't forbid her from going out for a walk…"

Rachel broke the embrace and looked up at him. "I'd follow her."

x

It was a cloudy day when Lucas decided to take the redhead's advice and follow his girlfriend. Peyton's footsteps eventually brought him to a rather marginal side of the city, which fueled his concern she might come here for drugs as Rachel suspected. In the background of these gray yet graffiti-covered walls, ambulance sirens and car alarms screamed shrilly and it was quite obvious mendacious affairs took place here.

However, Lucas' discomfort derived mostly from seeing all the dumps, which were probably squats, and the occasional dried vomit on the stones. Nonetheless, he bravely followed Peyton who was at this moment climbing the stairs of one of the buildings. It was hard for Lucas not to grab his girlfriend and drag her along with him but he suppressed the urge to take her away from here and instead, as silent as possible, eavesdropped at the door of the room she had just entered.

"Here," he heard her say. "Milk, bread, meat."

"Milk?" sounded the angered response.

"Yeah."

"I d-"

"Look, last time I checked, I'm not stupid enough to give an addict money."

"You know you speak like you're better than me but you aren't!" the girl shouted back. "You were worse, actually."

"I've changed!"

"People don't change," Ada answered. "You're still the same insecure, fucked up girl you were when I first met you. Damn," she continued louder. "Your father just _died_ but you don't show _any_ emotion. You're like a freaking robot and look where you are now."

"What do you mean? I'm doing well for myself!"

"Come on," she coldly laughed. "Look around you. _Look where you are_. It's happening again."

"No! You're wrong!"

"Keep telling y-"

Both girls turned their head when the door suddenly swung open. Upon seeing who stood in the opening, Peyton's eyes widened. What the hell was he doing here? Had he followed her? Why? Didn't he trust her? She didn't know what his explanation would be but what she did know was that she was pissed off like hell. Could he not leave her alone for a freaking _second_?

"What are you doing?" she asked scowling.

"Getting you out of here," he answered trying to grab her arm.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Peyton…" he spoke in a threatening manner.

"Don't take that tone with me," she ordered. "I'm not a child."

"You're coming with me."

"No, I'm staying."

Before she realized it, Lucas grabbed her by her waist and further threw her slender body over his shoulder. While cursing, Peyton lifted the curls dangling in front of her eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening; it was like Jake all over again. "Put me down!" she cried but it was hopeless; he was naturally much stronger and had a lot more muscles.

Lucas realized the way he brought her to the car –Rachel's one he had been allowed to borrow- was utterly ridiculous but the choice between her getting sucked in this environment again and a laughable display was quickly made. Quite roughly he put her in the passenger's seat and drove her home. The whole ride they didn't speak a word; the only contact was a to-ashes-reducing stare coming from both blondes' eyes. Only when they walked through the front door of their flat did their screaming match begin.

"This is getting ridiculous, Peyton!" he shouted. "We all care about you, we all love you but you just keep…pushing us away and I'm trying to get through to you b-"

"Oh, stop that psychological crap!" Peyton cut him off. "Whatever I did or did not to, you had no right to treat me the way you just did! You know if I don't help her, no one will. You want her to die, Lucas?!" she shouted. "Do you want that to happen!??"

"No," Lucas protested. "But quite frankly I'm more concerned about _you_ right now then some stranger," he reasoned.

"You're not Jake!" she screamed, aiming at the time he had dragged her out of a nightclub.

"Yeah, and thank_ God_ for that!!!" Lucas roared back. When he saw her baffled face, he softened his voice. "Look…All I want from you is to stop going there."

She opened her mouth to protest.

"And you will," he cut her off before she could say anything. "You'll do it for me because I love you and if anything would ever happen to you, I'd never forgive myself." Looking for a reaction, he scanned her expressions but they remained the same. "Please, Peyt…"

When she heard how his voice was breaking and saw the concern in his eyes, she was touched. However, not as it should and only vaguely. It wasn't like she didn't love Lucas, because she did more than anything, but ever since her father died, she felt light years away from him. Plus, his heartfelt attempts to console had only annoyed her: he had never lost a loved one so how on earth could he understand this kind of sorrow?

"Alright," she nonetheless gave in.

"Give me your word," Lucas immediately asked.

His voice contrary to his words weren't dominant, but more desperate.

"You have my word."

x

When Nathan's voice suddenly sounded through the flat with the question if she wanted Chinese or Tai food, Rachel quickly wiped her tears away. Unfortunately, the brown-haired boy had noticed it: his words immediately died out and he took place next to her in the couch. "What's wrong?" he asked with genuine concern.

"Nothing…" she answered as tears again escaped her eyes.

"I know you…" Nathan protested. "You wouldn't cry over nothing."

"I just…You know where Peyton has been spending her afternoons?"

"No…" He shook his head.

"In a squat."

They fell in a brief silence.

"Shit," Nathan then let out. "Do you think she's doing drugs again?"

"No, but she shouldn't be there! Goddamn," she shouted. "She should be here talking to us… What if she does begin to take again? I can't handle this a second time."

"She has Lucas."

"Ben had me! But that obviously wasn't enough!"

"Rach…That wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it?" she questioned. "I could've done more; I could've tried harder, I-I could've b-"

Nathan grabbed her by her shoulders. "No, you couldn't have," he cut her off. "Look…You might not like to hear this but I'm going to say it anyway: in the end, the only person who was to blame for Ben's death is Ben himself. No one forced him to leave home or do drugs; he decided that himself an-"

Angered, she slapped one of his arms of her shoulder and pushed the other one away. "You're starting to sound like your wife more and more every day," the redhead spat out. "Maybe you could go spread your opinions with her."

She stood up, walked to her bedroom and closed the door with a bang. Nathan sighed. He knew he wasn't as good with words as his brother but this had been one catastrophic speech. Now he realized how stupid it had been to be so blunt about such a delicate topic. Yes, it was the truth but to her it must've sounded like he was insulting who she saw as the love of her life. Not the smartest move.

x

The rain, tapping fiercely against the window, awoke Peyton from her sleep. She climbed out of her bed, walked out of her room and took a seat at the tensed breakfast table. For once, she wasn't the cause as she witnessed Rachel shooting death glares at a pile of melted Nathan. When it came to Nathan and Rachel, the blonde knew something was blossoming between them. However, to be quite frankly, she really didn't have the strength to care right now; everything seemed so banal compared to what she was going through.

Lucas looked up at her. "Good morning."

"Good morning," she replied.

A month ago, she would've bowed over and kissed him until everyone would beg them to go get a room but now she just went to sit down. It wasn't only him she had problems dealing with though. The person she had the hardest time to handle, really, was herself. She felt misunderstood, even by her own person; it was like something inside of her prohibited her emotions to show while all she wanted to do was cry in Lucas' arms until her eyes would dry up.

She took the jar of strawberry jam and tried to screw the lid off but the thing wouldn't budge. It frustrated her enormously, up until the point she felt the urge to cry. Increasingly angered, she turned harder and harder until she simply slammed the jar on the table in defeat. The blonde let out a crossed whimper but then again grabbed the jam. Concerned, Lucas reached out to her with the intention of taking the jar, but she pulled away while shooting him a look that could kill.

"I can do it myself," she growled.

When it appeared, she couldn't, she placed it in front of Lucas who submissively took it. Everyone's eyes were fixed on him as Lucas unscrewed the lid in less than a second. "Here," he softly said.

Peyton's hazel eyes instantly grew a glazy coat seeing him so clueless. Lucas was more important to her than anything else in the world and so she despised the way she acted to him. However, it was stronger than herself which made her wonder if there was something wrong with her. Why wasn't she right? Why couldn't she grieve like other people?

"It's OK to accept help, Peyton," Rachel carefully pointed out. "We're all here for you."

The blonde bowed her head agonized. Ada was right: she had just lost her father but hadn't even cried yet and then Lucas… He was one in a million yet she was treating him like shit. The worst thing, though, was that he stayed: every other boy would've probably turned around and given Schumacher a run for his money. She just wondered how long he'd still hang in there.

Wiping the tears falling from her eyes, Peyton rose from her chair and fled to her room. Lucas stared at the door she had just slammed shut looking beaten like a dog. When he felt a hand covering his, he turned his head to look into a pair of compassionate deep-browns. In a swift motion, he wrapped his arms around the redhead. They were the only ones understanding each other right now and this gesture of affection was something he really needed at this moment.

"Things will get better, right?" he asked.

"They have to."

Later that noon, Lucas decided to check up on Peyton to see how she was doing. When he opened the door, the sight of her nearly filled suitcases welcomed him.

"What are you doing?" he asked surprised.

"Packing," Peyton answered. "This is not about us, but about me," she immediately explained. "I really need my space right now and besides, I'm tired of being this burden to everyone." What she said wasn't a lie. Handling –or not handling- her father's death was hard enough without seeing everyone constantly holding back in order to not hurt you and your emotions.

"You're not a burden."

"Luke…" Peyton sighed looking up. "This doesn't change anything between us, OK?" He seemed hesitant so she walked over to him and cupped his cheek. The slight surprise in his eyes broke her heart. Was she really this cold to him? She shifted her hand to the back of his head and then softly captured his lips. "OK?" she asked once again.

He softly nodded. When she wanted to break the hug, he pulled her closer again in an almost desperate manner. However, being so near yet so far away to her pained his heart even more. Since they had gotten together, he had had her heart, soul and body but now he felt as it he had only the latter one. "I love you, Peyt…Please don't shut me out."

"I'll be alright," she convinced them both. "I'll be alright…"

x

With his Nike shirt and shorts on, Nathan left his bedroom. Even if Rachel wouldn't have sworn to never jog with him again, he would still be going without her, namely because the redhead hadn't spoken a word to him in days. Sometimes she even avoided eye contact. Opening the door, Nathan suddenly stood face to face with the object of his thoughts. When Rachel tried to walk past him, he put his arm as a barricade between the hall and their flat.

"I'm sorry, Rach…" he then apologized. "I was out of line."

"Yeah, you were," she confirmed.

"But you have to understand…" Nathan did defend himself "…that I care about you and so I can't stand you beating yourself up over this."

She sighed before shrugging her shoulders. "Can I please come in?" the redhead then asked.

"Oh, yeah sorry…" he answered and removed his arm, which he had completely forgotten was even there. Instead of going for a run, he followed her as she seated herself in the couch.

"Listen," Rachel began. "I know it isn't my fault but it still _feels_ that way. And somewhere, you need that feeling, you know?"

Nathan shot her a puzzled stare. "No…"

"For so long, I believed that it was indeed my fault and now it seemed like you were taking a security away from me. It is something I believed in; even though the feeling wasn't…positive or it shouldn't have been there." She paused. "You get it?"

"Sort of…" he confirmed.

"Good," she smiled with a small sigh. They fell in a short silence. "Come here," Rachel then said and pulled him in a hug. "You're such a doofus," she added when they pulled back. "I don't know what to do with you."

As Nathan looked at her, he felt the urge to kiss her yet again, which he off course couldn't in these circumstances; it wouldn't be very tactful. "Rach?"

"Yes?"

"You want to go out with me?"

"Off c-"

"No," he cut her off. "Not like friends. I want to go out with you…Because I think I like you, like...More than a friend."

Upon beholding her perplexed face, he got a little uncomfortable. Maybe he shouldn't have asked it; they were after all talking about her feelings concerning Ben hardly seconds ago. If kissing wasn't appropriate, then this probably wasn't either right?

"Look," Nathan spoke. "I know this isn't the right time with all that's going on but will the time ever be right? With our luck concerning love-"

"Love?"

They shared looks before Nathan softly shrugged, confirming he was indeed in love with her.

"I'm in love with you too," she confessed with a soft smile. "And I'd like to go out on a date with you."

Nathan's eyes widened and also Rachel herself was a bit surprised by her eager affirmation. The redhead was sure that if any other guy would've ask her this question, she would've flat out refused –she had actually done so a couple of days ago with Ethan- but Nathan was a different case. It just felt right to say 'yes'. Why it felt like that, she didn't know, but it had conquered the guilt still lingering inside of her about Ben.

"Great," he, after the first surprise, replied with a toothpaste grin.

"Great."

x

Rushed, Peyton walked through her house. She couldn't find her father's CD's she had secretly taken from him when she was little; the things seemed to have vanished into thin air. With turbulent movements, the blonde went through every drawer in her house only to wind up in her own room again. She furiously opened her nightstand but instead of the CD's, she found an old picture of her, her mother and her father.

Before the image had the chance to touch her, she threw the picture back and slammed the little wooden door shut. Suddenly she heard something that got her full attention and Peyton remembered she had left the television on. Slowly she walked into her living room and beheld Louis Armstrong playing his shiny, golden-colored trumpet.

_I see trees of green, red roses too  
I see them bloom for me and you  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world. _

What a wonderful world? She remembered her last conversation with her father and almost chuckled coldly at herself. How could she ever have been so naïve?

_I see skies of blue and clouds of white  
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world._

When she saw skies of blue or clouds of white now, she didn't exactly muse about the beauty of the world. Because skies turn to gray, clouds grow black and eventually there is only darkness. However, no 'sacred' darkness but the one that makes you feel small, hopeless and closes you in until you can hardly breathe.

_The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky  
Are also on the faces of people going by  
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do  
They're really saying I love you._

Didn't Louis Armstrong know a rainbow is simply the sunlight reflecting on raindrops? It's not some pretty miracle; it's scientific. There's no mystery because life is not a mystery. It's a _misery_. Eventually, all it brings is pain and sorrow through a chain reaction. Life hurts you and you hurt the people who haven't been taken away from you yet, like Lucas and Rachel. You hurt the people who still _love_ you. The first time she did that, they all left. It wouldn't surprise her it they'd leave now too. And what do 'Love yous' help? They're just so hollow sometimes and definitely don't solve anything. They don't solve anything now.

_I hear babies crying, I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more than I'll never know  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world  
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world. _

They'll definitely learn. They'll grow up and lose their hope along the way as they take the battering of life. Listening to the song she had called her favorite once at _this_ moment, she found it an ordinary lie. She took the remote and turned the television off. The world wasn't wonderful. It wore you out. After sunshine comes rain, rainbows disappear and from the moment you're born, you're awaiting your own or someone else's death.

When she heard the ringing of her doorbell, Peyton hurried to the door. Who could it be? Rachel had college, as had Lucas and Brooke was currently in London with her boyfriend. Swiftly she opened the door and for the first time in over month felt something other than the meekness she forced upon herself: surprise.

"Haley?"

* * *

So...? I think **refused **said something about me being really old-school and well, she's right :D. My music taste goes way back into the 50's. I can't help it, I'm just weird. What I found funny about your reactions was you guys saying the professor was a _slimeball_. Here in Belgium we have a very similar world but it means 'ass-kisser', really lol, like someone who'd do extra homework to be the teacher's favorite.

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	12. Romantic Tragedies and Tragic Romances

**A/N**:

First of all, sorry for the delay, I know I normally update once a week but I had lost my inspiration for this one a bit.

Also, thanks lonely girl 23, leytonetreehill, othstewy, LeytonLover3, AdzLovesLeyton, Jessica, RathanIsLove, WhatchaSaying, anniecakes13, jamyj30, AngelOfDeath07, Leytonunit, LukePeyt, LVRofTristan, refused, saf, RJMoonspell4 and Joise for the reviews! They're what keep someone (or at least _me_, writing).

-

I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter!

_

* * *

_

12. Romantic Tragedies and Tragic Romances 

Two cups of coffee resting on the salon table –one decaf, one with sugar and milk- seemed to be the centre of attention as both Peyton and Haley gazed at them silently from their spot in opposite dark-blue couches. Moments passed wherein the girls didn't speak a word until at a certain point they both looked up, locking eyes in the process. They both felt they could've been friends in a different time or an alternate universe but unfortunately, this reality holding Haley leaving Nathan and the bond _he_ had built up with Rachel –Peyton's best friend- hadn't allowed it.

"So..." Peyton began obviously uncomfortable. What are you supposed to say to someone you haven's seen in months and who you, on top of that, don't know all that well _but_, has decided to pop in for a visit? However, she knew she needed to break the ice as soon as possible since the tension whirling around in the room could be cut only with a razor-sharp knife. "How are you doing?" she then asked slightly hesitant.

The brunette briefly thought about her life at the moment. It wasn't all fun and giggles to say the least. "OK," she replied after a couple seconds of silence. "I'm OK."

"Liar," Peyton blurted out and immediately cursed herself for her bluntness.

Haley was slightly startled by her reply but almost instantly recovered. "Fine," she gave in. "Not so good, alright? _Bad_, actually." She really was a mess currently: even though she did well in college, the question if she'd send Nathan the divorce papers she had received yesterday had kept her awake for three days in a row now. She felt stressed and exhausted at the same time. "But," she decided to quickly change the subject to the one she had come for, which was Lucas. "I'm not here to talk about me, but about you."

"What do you mean?"

"Look," she started. "Before I get into this, I just want to say that I know you're going through a hard time." The brunette saw Peyton was confused and so decided to cut to the case. "But...Don't shut Lucas out. H-"

Peyton's eyes widened as her jaw dropped in disbelief. "WHAT?" she let out quite loudly; cutting Haley off. "That's none of your business!" She couldn't grasp this absurdity. Would Haley have liked if she –a stranger, really- would've come to have a chat about Nathan after their break-up? She guessed the answer would be 'no'.

"You listen to me," Haley spoke in a threatening manner. "I making it my business and you know why? Because Lucas is my best friend since sixth grade and I have **never** seen him so miserable in my life," she spoke. "He's a great guy and he deserves better than the way you treat him."

'Some guts this girl had!' Peyton thought indignant. "How would you know how I treat him?"

The brunette shortly bowed her head: what was she to respond? She just hoped her coming here wouldn't cause any trouble for Lucas. She looked up straight into the angered hazel eyes in front of her. "He's my best friend…I just want the best for him." Haley knew Lucas had never loved anyone liked he did Peyton and she simply didn't think it was healthy, the way he'd give up his happiness for hers. Especially not when this girl couldn't seem to be happy anymore. All his efforts towards her were in vain, which she had seen made him hopeless and saddened.

Blankness washed over Peyton's face as she stood up and pointed at her door. _Great_, apparently Lucas had been talking about her behind her back to Haley. "Out," she ordered with a frightful yet calm anger.

"B-"

Peyton rolled her eyes. Who the hell did this girl think she was? Mother –freaking- Theresa? She wasn't a saint; she was just a selfish nosey-parker. "**Get out of my house!**" the blonde then cut her off in a scream.

With a defeated sigh, Haley rose from her seat in the couch and walked towards the door in the line of the blonde's index finger. Touching the knob, the brunette looked over her shoulder, straight into Peyton's eyes. "Don't hurt him more than you already have."

x

"Hello?" Rachel called when she heard her front door open. "Nate? Luke?" Stepping in the living room, she saw Peyton standing there. "Oh, hi," the redhead greeted. "I didn't know you were coming…" Her smile faded away when she saw the anger splattered across her friend's face. "What's wrong?" she asked worried.

Peyton, who had basically come here to chop Lucas' head off for what had happened with Haley this afternoon, suddenly remembered he had class and somehow, this fact calmed her down a little: he wasn't here so there was no point in being angry right now. The wrath soon slid completely off her and with a somewhat beaten posture, she plumped herself down in the couch.

"Haley came over," she explained while locking eyes with Rachel's brown. "She knew about..." the blonde briefly paused. Would she confess to Rachel, to herself, that she was handling her father's death horribly? "She knew stuff. Stuff she shouldn't know," Peyton then continued.

"What?" Rachel let out baffled and then got a bit angry herself. "Haley came to see you? Like in Haley 'remove-the-stick-out-of-my-deserting-ass' James? What the hell is she interfering with?" the redhead asked, raising her voice with each word.

"Yeah," the blonde confirmed. "And she basically told me I was the Wicked Bitch of the West and that Lucas deserves better than me."

"Uh…That whore!"

Ummm...alright," Peyton slowly said and scowled at her friend. Was Rachel so passionate about the subject of Haley because she had come over and lectured her? She assumed it was more because she was jealous of the way the brunette was connected to Nathan. "Anyway," the blonde continued. "How could Lucas do this to me? How could he tell the most private things about my-_ our_ lives to her?"

Rachel kinked her eyebrow at her friend and forgot about Nathan's ex at once. Why was Peyton actually here? She remembered her enraged face earlier…Had she come over with the intention of spiking poor Lucas' head? Why? All he wanted was for her to be happy…

"Peyton..." the redhead began as she walked over to her friend and seated herself next to her in the couch. "Lucas is just worried about you; I'm sure he never meant to hurt you," she defended her blonde roommate. "And whether you like it or not, Haley is a big part of his life; she his best friend. It's normal he shares things with her."

"She isn't _my_ friend," Peyton stubbornly pointed out.

"Look," Rachel sighed. "Remember when you told me all this stuff about Jake? About him getting Nikki pregnant in tenth grade and the miscarriage and everything?"

"Yeah..." she confirmed while slightly shaking her head. "What does this have to d-"

"Isn't this the same? You tell your best friend everything."

"Not this."

"Maybe he shouldn't have done it," she gave in. "But he probably needed a listening ear; he suffers from this too, you know. Because he loves you."

The curly blonde let out a sigh and realized she had overreacted. She was just so emotionally confused right now that she didn't even know how to handle herself. If Lucas had been her, she would've yelled until her voice would've disappeared. What was wrong with her? Lucas was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she was treating him horribly. Maybe the time had come to be selfless now…

x

Mr. Alekseyev's voice echoed through the aula as Peyton attentively took notes. After class Lucas would pick her up but for now, she could float around in her dream world a little more. These lessons were like an escape: sometimes she'd go to tenth century China through the paintings of Hsu Hsi, to the Antwerp of the sixteenth century with Peter Paul Rubens or to the heart of Paris with Vincent Van Gogh, who had had a studio there.

However, how concentrated as she was, she couldn't help but notice her attention was shifting from Da Vinci's earliest work to the two girls chattering in front of her. "Yeah, they found her in a dumpster…" Peyton heard the thinner girl of the two speak. "Probably _beaten_ to death..."

"Oh, God," the other girl replied shocked. "What does your brother say?"

"What? Why?"

"Well, he used to date her..." the girl reasoned.

"He broke things off with Ada when she refused to, you know...do something about it."

At the mention of the name ' Ada', Peyton's breath briefly staggered in her throat. Where they talking about _her_ Ada? The one who she had tried to help shortly after her father's dead? It could be…The blonde then ordered herself to calm down. Surely the Ada she knew wasn't the only one walking around in New York with that name.

"Excuse me..." Peyton tried to get the thinner girl's attention. When she didn't immediately respond, she softly tapped her back. "Excuse me..." she repeated.

"Yeah?" the girl questioned as she turned around.

"Ummm..." the blonde started hesitating. "I couldn't help but overhear you talk. This girl... How did she look like?"

"What's it to you?"

"I...I think I might know her."

The girl stared at her with suspicion. "Blue eyes," she then answered. "Red hair. Average height, size an-"

"What is…_was_ her last name?"

"Sumner."

Upon hearing this surname, Peyton felt like someone swung a sledgehammer in her face, and almost burst into tears. Ada was dead? The news slowly sunk in and as it did, guilt also overwhelmed her. How could she have let this happen? Because of her stupid obedience to Lucas, she had a death on her conscience. She had let Ada die…

"Should I continue or do you know enough?" the girl asked; apparently she had continued talking after giving Peyton the last name.

The blonde shook her curls almost invisibly and leaned back in her seat, upon which the girl turned around. Peyton felt so guilty it was almost too much to handle and the rest of the lesson; she didn't pay any attention but instead thought about what she could've done differently. She was only awoken from her trance when everyone stood up and began to leave the auditorium.

With a few deep breaths, Peyton also rose from her seat and descended from the dull wooden steps. She looked flabbergasted, depressed and hopeless all at once and Mr. Alekseyev noticed, just like everyone with a pair of good eyes would notice upon beholding the dark expression on her face.

"Peyton?" the blonde heard Mr. Alekseyev call her.

What did he want? Did she really have to turn around? "Yes, sir?" she nonetheless politely replied.

"Is something wrong?" he asked as he softly put down the documents he had been holding in his hands. "You seem upset."

"I'm...I'm…" Peyton didn't know what happened when her hands rose up to her face and covered her eyes before she broke out in a loud sobbing. Every little element of sadness and anger of the past months just flowed out of her. In front of her professor. How embarrassing! Couldn't this have happened another time? No, she had to have her emotional breakdown in front of one of the art world's geniuses.

Jourdan hesitated but then walked up to her before softly leading her into an embrace. And she let him, although not completely conscious. How could she, when this was the first time in her life she had ever cried so hard? She could hardly think since salty _waterfalls _poured out of her eyes.

"I can't, I can't-" she tried to talk between whimpers. "I can't take it anymore…"

"It's alright…" he soothed her while softly rubbing her back.

She nodded and slowly began to calm down.

What neither of them noticed, is that near the entrance of the auditorium, a pair of sky-blue eyes was watching them. Eyes drowning in hurt and anger. This was unacceptable. For months, _months_, he had wished she'd open up to him. He had hoped she'd cry, kick or scream but she hadn't done a thing. Now she was sobbing in her professor's arms. The professor he was so suspicious of. The one who invited her to art exhibitions students are usually not even allowed in.

Without making his presence known, Lucas backed away from the door, turned around and left.

x

Nearly hyperventilating –because of the nerves, but also the haze of deodorant mixed with perfume- Rachel ran through the bathroom; getting ready for her date with Nathan. After another ten minutes of fretting, pulling her navy-blue, silk dress into place, putting an extra layer of Dior mascara on her lashes and running out the bathroom to pick the perfect pair of shoes - black high heels-, she was finally ready. While taking a deep breath, she walked to Nathan's bedroom.

Since she hadn't wanted him to see her preparing herself for their date, she had order him to stay in his room until she'd say it would be fine to exit it. "Nate?" she called. "I'm ready."

Hearing his footsteps, her heart beat a little faster. Nathan scared her. Simple as that. It had been so long ago since she had been in love and she didn't know if she really wanted to put herself in such a vulnerable position again. However, when the door swung open and she locked eyes with his deep-blues, she calmed down a bit: he seemed just as nervous, if not more.

After the realization that their date had just begun, Nathan scanned the breathtaking girl in front of him. Her hair wasn't straight as usual, but her locks were curled into red spirals which flowed beautifully onto her shoulders. This led him to her dress… It wasn't the piece of clothing he had imagined her to wear; he had expected something more..._naked_. This shiny blue dress showed just a bit of cleavage and stopped under her knees but he certainly didn't mind; she looked absolutely stunning.

While her beauty enthralled him, her personality and the effect it had on him surprised Nathan. He had always thought opposites attract. Like him and Haley; and then you also make each other a better person. Rachel, on the other hand, was quite similar to him. Both had switched partners more than square-dancers in their lives and weren't all that angelical. Simply said, they were diabolic sluts yet still, she made him want to be nicer, more honest and less of a male whore.

"You look wonderful," he said more instinctively than anything.

"Thank you," she replied slightly blushing under his stare. "You too; I like your tie."

Nathan looked down at his dark-blue tie, which was one of Lucas' actually. For some dark, unknown reason, his big brother had always been good at picking out clothes while he himself reached for the bright-orange dicky-bows. "Thanks," Nathan accepted her compliment with a small nod upon which they, together, left the apartment.

About twenty minutes later, they stopped in a beautiful street, lighted by skilfully sculpted lanterns. Rachel felt the urge to hug him when she realized where they were going. _The Little Mill_. This was a small but cute –and expensive- restaurant a couple of miles outside Manhattan.

However, as they turned the corner, they didn't see a candle-lit restaurant, but a raging fire-lit one. With their mouths almost hanging open in disbelief and surprise, they watched how the owner cried in front of his business as the first fire trucks rolled in. They briefly locked eyes before glancing back at the burning restaurant with troubled expressions. Was this a prelude?

Rachel's hand flew into her purse.

"What are you going to do?" Nathan asked sheepishly.

"Fix this."

About forty-five minutes later, Rachel walked purposeful over the Lincoln Centre Plaza with Nathan following her sheepishly. During her call, she had distanced herself a bit from him so he hadn't heard what she had said. After, when he kept asking her what her secret calling had been all about, she had just ordered him not to be so curious and further asked him if he could please help her hail a cab.

So now here they were, in front of the Metropolitan Opera House. It took a few seconds for Nathan to realize they were actually going in the building and when he did, he yanked his head at Rachel in utter surprise. "We're going to see an opera?" He immediately understood why she had wanted to keep it a secret until arrival.

"Macbeth, to be precisely," she replied as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "It's amazing, I've heard."

"But-But Rach…" he faintly protested. Opera wasn't something that screamed 'Nathan Scott'. It actually scared him a bit, those high, complaining, spine-chilling voices. At least, those were the things he remembered of his first and what he had though _last_ opera ten years ago, when his father had forced him to come along and his mother had trapped him into a little tuxedo.

"Don't be narrow-minded, Nate," Rachel said, seeing his reluctance. "Let's just go. There's a reception after, which means free champagne!" she tried to convince him with alcohol.

"I don't know…" Nathan hesitated. "How are we going to get in anyways? I mean, either we'll sneak past one of the billion guards I'm sure there are…_Or_" he emphasized the word. "You already got us tickets, which means _you_ set fire to _the Little Mill _so you could go to the opera. And I don't like any of those options…"

"You got me," she replied with a pseudo-disappointed look. "I confess: I, Rachel Gattina, am a pyromaniac."

Nathan kinked his eyebrow.

"Because of my dad, off course!" the redhead then said. "Don't you remember I told you he used to own an opera house in Boston?" she continued somewhat complaining. She had explained to him in details what her father does, _where_ and how little time his job allowed him to spend with his family. Then again, Nathan was watching basketball and when he did that, he disappeared in his own world and blocked out every sound without relations to the television. "So… you know… he has _connections_."

"You make it sound like he's the Godfather…" he noticed and smiled at his own joke. "Can I kiss your hand, Don Gattina?"

"Nate!" she complained while tapping his arm softly. "My dad is not a Don, OK?" Nathan cracked another smile and then shrugged. "Now that that's clear," the redhead continued. "Could we please go inside now? I'm freezing!"

"Fine…"

She started walking away but was stopped when Nathan took a hold of her hand. As she turned her head, he looked deeply in her eyes. "Listen," he began a tad shy. "I know I'm not exactly the perfect example of a romantic guy but you have to know that…" he shortly paused. "…you could have taken me to visit Alcatraz for all I care; it wouldn't have mattered, because I just want to spend this evening with _you_. Even if it means sitting through an opera for…"

Rachel smiled and felt her heart take a little jump. "You know," she began and softly touched his tie. "That was really romantic…"

"Yeah?"

"U-huh."

Nathan held out his arm for her. "Shall we then, milady?" he again slightly mocked where they were actually going.

She played along and locked her arm in his. "Why, _yes_, milord."

Not much later, the two sat on the balcony in their burgundy-velvet seats. To his own surprise, Nathan did actually not hate the opera; it certainly wasn't as sissy as he had thought it would be. The play was filled with deaths, blood –albeit fake- and fights. He wouldn't do it every week, though…You had to sit still so long.

"I can see you like it…" he suddenly heard Rachel whisper in his ear.

He looked at her from the corner of his eye. "Ssssst…" he teased her with a smile. "Macbeth's wife is about to commit suicide."

"You know this play?"

"In high school…I played Lennox."

"Who's Lennox?"

"I…huh…It's a very small role," he confessed. "I'm not very good at acting."

"Ah…Who would've thought?"

Nathan turned his head forward again and at that point, Rachel decided to be bold. Teasing and bantering was fun, but she felt she needed and _wanted_ more now. She let her fingers rise up to his face before softly cupping his cheek. Nathan turned his head at her a tad surprised. Without further ado, she slightly tilted her head and captured his lips softly. Soon he did the same and cupped her cheek, tenderly stroking her skin as he kissed her back. It felt right. The relationship they had built up, the kiss…Just everything about them.

The kiss lasted up until they had to come up for air. They shared a brief smile and then went in for another kiss which was sadly enough interrupted by a grumpy old bear with goggles behind them. The man cleared his throat and when Nathan and Rachel looked over their shoulders, they noticed he was shaking his head disapproving and motioned by separating his hands they had to move their faces away from each other.

"Sorry," Rachel whispered as she faintly pulled the corners of her mouth down.

They listened to the man and pulled their heads back. However, the whole opera, their hands were intertwined. Every time they locked eyes, it was accompanied by a small smile and for the first time in quite a while, they both looked forward to the future again.

x

The sound of the wall-clock was the only thing disturbing the silence of the room as Peyton sat silently in her boyfriend's kitchen, like a worried mother waiting for her son who had broken curfew. After class, she had waited for Lucas for an hour -running in –and outside the building in the process-, but her boyfriend had been nowhere to be seen. Two explanations for this ran through her mind: one, he had simply forgotten about her or two, something had happened. Like an accident.

Since she knew Rachel and Nathan had their first date tonight, she had told them Lucas had gone to get some milk in the nearby shop so that they wouldn't get worried and possibly have their night ruined. However, as the minutes passed, so did her worry and regret for not informing the two about him staying away for so long.

Peyton's head immediately shot up when she heard the front door click. Seeing Lucas appearing through the door, the curly blonde breathed a sigh of relief. However, her appeasement quickly made room for anger. "Where have you been?" she demanded to know. "I've been worried sick about you!"

Lucas walked past her, to the fridge. "Out," he replied coldly as his eyes scanned the content of the refrigerator.

For a moment, she was speechless. What the hell had gotten into him? She had waited for him in the cold a long time so the least he could do was make up a good excuse as to why he had just let her take root. "Where?" she asked. "And why didn't you call to say you couldn't pick me up? I waited for you for over an hour!"

"None of your business," Lucas snapped before shutting the fridge. "Never a goddamn thing to eat in this house," he further mumbled under his breath.

"Hey!" Peyton firmly spoke to him. "I asked you a question! Why didn't you show up? You know how cold it was today?!? And you just let me wait!" She paused as she looked directly into his eyes, which showed no signs of regret whatsoever. "What's wrong with you?!?"

"What's wrong with me?" he immediately shouted. "What's wrong with _you_?!?"

"What do you mean?" she asked with puzzled anger.

"Well, why don't you ask your 'professor' what I mean? He must know what's wrong with you…"

Peyton frowned slightly. "Wh-"

"I saw you!!!" he roared and saw she was completely taken aback; this she had obviously not expected "Two months, Peyton!!! Two months that I've been trying like an idiot to get through to you and then you just…_pour_," he spat out that latter word "your heart out with some guy you hardly know!!!"

"I didn't mean to!" she defended herself. "It just happened!"

"Well, why couldn't it happen with me?!" Lucas demanded to know.

"Because…Because…"

"Because what?!?"

"Because I had just heard Ada is dead!" she cried out. "She has been beaten to death!"

Now it was Lucas' turn to be overwhelmed with surprise. "What?" As his shock faded away, he softly approached her but when he wanted to touch her, comfort her, she backed away. "Djeez," Lucas sighed out in disbelief and shook his head.

Peyton looked at him and felt rotten as ever inside for putting him through this misery, yet she couldn't help her own behaviour. It was like she had put all her emotions in a coffin and buried it far beneath the earth. They had escaped for a moment earlier this day with Mr. Alekseyev but after, they had been pushed right back in the ground. To tell the truth, her breakdown had made everything worse than it already was: she had opened up like Pandora's Box and in a similar way, left the hope laying at the bottom, paling.

Lucas couldn't possibly be happy with her anymore. Haley was right: Lucas deserved the best, which was a nice, sweet, good, caring girl. Someone who could give him the love she wasn't able to give him at this point in her life. Haley was like a sister to Lucas and she knew him better than anyone. If she thought Peyton wasn't good enough for him and judged she made him unhappy, it was true. And she didn't want to make him unhappy; she loved him too much for that, even though she couldn't show it right now.

"I think we need to spend some time apart," she softly said.

All colour left Lucas' face as his anger made room for complete shock. "Y- You want to break up?" he stammered after a few seconds.

Peyton shrugged her shoulders and nodded, carefully avoiding eye contact. She didn't have the courage to look at him right now. In a desperate manner, he then walked up to her and grabbed her by her upper-arms. She saw his bottom lip tremble and turned her face away. He was the perfect example of how much of a cold and closed monster she was. She couldn't stand to see what a mess she had made of his life, which had been fairly easy before her. At least she still had a chance to make it up to him and if that was accomplished only by letting him go, that's how it shall be. But it was hard, and it hurt like hell.

"Peyt…" he softly spoke and let his hand stroke her cheek.

"Don't do this, Luke," she begged and removed his hand from her skin. She knew that if he'd hold her any longer, with his blue eyes so full of hurt, it wouldn't be long before she'd break down and cry. Couldn't he see this was for his own good? "I meant what I said…"

Lucas looked down at her and had to suppress his tears. Ever since they had met, he had known he would never be able to be in love with anyone else but her anymore. Even through her moments of stubbornness, her complexity and now her distance, he still wanted and needed her so badly. She was his whole world. "I-Is this about Alekseyev because it's I'm…" he breathed in deeply to handle his emotions "I'm sorry…Let's just forget about it…"

"Let me go…" she pleaded. "Luke, I love you and it's not y-"

"Please don't do that," he spat out and immediately let her go. "Don't go using stereotypes on me. At least have _that_ much decency!"

"Don't be mean!" she cried out while the first tears rolled down her cheek. "This is hard for me too!"

Lucas again neared her and cupped her tear-stained cheek. "Then don't do it…" he almost _whispered_ as a glassy coat covered his blue eyes. Also his left hand rose up to rest on her face. "_God, Peyt_, Don't do it…" Softly, he connected their foreheads and gently brushed his nose against hers. She sighed tormented. He didn't understand why she was doing this, if it was hurting her so. "We can get through this," he further convinced her. "You don't have any idea how much I love you…Look at me," he then ordered. "Don't you…" he paused, swallowing possible tears away "Don't you love me?"

She looked up at him with eyes full of sadness but didn't answer his question. Why was he making this so hard? It was pure torture. Without waiting for her answer, Lucas bowed over and softly captured her lips. Peyton returned his kiss with the same tenderness –her hand covered his cheek as she did so- but it was egoistic for her to do that, she knew. Now, as she was, there was no doubt she'd go down and take him along with her. She had to stop kissing him. She had to let him go. It was for the best.

So she pulled away, just as he wanted to press her closer to him. "I'm sorry," she apologized through her tears. "I can't," she further choked out. Without giving him another look, she walked past him, to the door. "We're over."

x

It was past midnight when Rachel and Nathan arrived home. As they stepped through their front door and switched the light on, the happiness they had been experiencing ever since their kiss was pushed aside when they saw Lucas sitting in the couch; his elbows resting on his upper legs, his hands supporting his head as he stared in front of him with wide, empty eyes. Yet he must've cried since a light-red shade surrounded his iris.

This fact immediately alarmed Rachel. She had never, _ever_, seen Lucas cry. When he was hurt, he whined, complained and occasionally stabbed with words but _never_ did he shed a tear. "Luke?" The redhead immediately seated herself next to him and placed her arm on his back. Also Nathan walked to the couch but remained standing behind it. "What happened?" she then asked concerned.

Softly he removed his hands from his face and looked up at Rachel. "Peyton broke up with me," he answered her question. Upon speaking these words, it was clear he had to suppress his tears: he took a deep breath and bowed his head yet again so that no one would be able to read his emotional struggle off from his face.

Rachel didn't know what to say. They had broken up? But they were _Lucas and Peyton_. Meant to be and that kind of stuff... Sure, she had noticed they had been going through a rough patch lately but actually splitting up? What had happened that it had come this far? "H-"

"I don't want to talk about it," he cut her off.

With that, he rose from the couch, walked to his room and closed the door. There he saw a picture of the two of them together. Of him and Peyton. In bed, actually; after a night revolving around making love and afterward-cuddling. He was blissfully happy and she looked ridiculously sexy covered by nothing more than a sheet and a part of his body. By turning his head away, Lucas teased her as Peyton gazed down at him determined to take a decent picture.

While the image usually warmed his heart, it now deformed his face in anger and hurt. In a swift motion, he grabbed the frame and threw it hard against his wall. It wasn't quite like his brother had done when he found out Haley had left him, practically tearing down the whole house, but it was done with the same powerlessness. The glass splattered all across the room and nestled in his carpet but he didn't care. He had just lost the girl he would've given his life for. His world had crumbled, and he didn't care about _anything_ right now.

Eight miles away further, Peyton lay in her bed; her body softly jolting as tears disappeared in her pillow. Some of her curls stuck to her moist cheeks but she didn't even bother to get her hair out of her face. If only she would've been normal; if she could've just mourned like any other person, she wouldn't have had to let Lucas go. But she wasn't normal… She was a freak of nature, unable to express emotions. Why did everything always have to be so hard with her? She could think about it, if she wasn't completely overwhelmed by intense sadness. Life's obstacles, as they say, are supposed to help you discover who you are and make you stronger, but she felt as though they only paralyzed her and robbed her from everything that was dear to her…

…Charles Dickens once wrote:

_'They were the best of times__. They were the worst of times' … _

The most famous lines in English literature…And who had ever thought they could actually be connected to a foursome living in New York more than hundred-forty years later?

This was more than likely the reason of Dickens's fame, even in this time and age. His words were applicable to a million situations in various different times; from the years leading up to the French Revolution centuries ago, over to life, over to present love. How come? Well, some thoughts, books or feelings are timeless. _Indestructible;_ and it would now be up to two young people to discover if their love was too.

_

* * *

_

Before you think I'm a complete weirdo, I just want to say that I've never gone to see an opera lol. BTW, **RJMoonspell4** – Iron Maiden isn't _100 percent_ my style but I do really enjoy some of their songs like 'Run to the Hills' and 'Brave New World'.

So, I always let my sister pre-read my updates. After this one, she first pouted and said it was a depressing chapter and then she complained about the NR (she's a big NH shipper)… Not really motivating I have to say. ;) I hope you guys still enjoyed it. :)

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	13. Leaving New York

**A/N**: Thanks to everyone who reviewed BTW! You guys totally made my week!

Also: If you get a chance, please go check out my other story "Subsiding Echoes of Innocence'. The second chapter of that one should be up soon. :)

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13. Leaving New York

_'Loneliness…  
It wears me out,  
it lies in way…' _

A morning June sun shun fiercely over this little island called Manhattan and the faces of the New Yorkian pedestrians were equally bright but the true wonder of this day was that for the first time in months, Peyton noticed the beauty surrounding her. However, she couldn't enjoy it to the fullest because fresh strawberries in a fruit shop, boxes resting outside filled with books, weird-looking plants, a park-goer holding a basketball…Everywhere she looked she was confronted with Lucas, which was agonizing. Even thought exactly one month and two days had passed when she had stepped out of his life; the pain hadn't even begun to drain away.

As the curly blonde stepped into a florist shop she was yet again reminded of her ex. Almost their whole relationship up until the point things took a wrong turn with her father's death, he had regularly bought her flowers. Peyton liked delicate, elegant flowers like forget-me-nots, orchids or roses, but Lucas had always gotten her much plumper flowers, like tulips or hyacinths. She didn't mind: lots of guys would have given up going to a flower shop each week after hardly a month or so of dating…But not him. Lucas had adored her and she had, around him, always felt like a precious princess; he gave her all his love and attention without giving her the feeling of suffocation.

Perfection, that's what he was, and although she had fought what they had with all the force she had in her at first, she had always considered him as her true love; the one she'd spend the rest of her live with, and have little blue-eyed, blond-haired children with. She had ruined her own dream, she realized all too well, and the punishment was that she'd have to go through life knowing that her 'area of expertise' was basically sabotaging her own and other people's hopes or...she could clean up her act, and that was exactly what she was determined to do. While she didn't see a fix for the mess she had caused in her relationship with Lucas, she was resolute to pick up the thread in other aspects of her life, starting with mourning about her father.

After scanning each flower in the florist shop, Peyton picked out a combination of forget-me-nots and hyacinths. With the bouquet resting in a little plastic bag she was carrying, Peyton walked quite a few blocks until she finally remained standing at a high, wide-opened iron gate. For the first time since her father's funeral, she'd go visit his grave. It had all taken a while: her somewhat clear view on her relationship with Lucas and now her father's death, but she had gotten there at last. It was a personal victory which had come quite out of the blue a week ago in Central Park.

_Peyton sat quietly on one of the many benches gracing the surrounding reading a poetry bundle when suddenly a little boy –about eight years olds- joined her. Upon eyeing him, her breath staggered. The child was smiling, but the smile was plastered on a face that must've been through a lot, she assumed beholding the boy's bald head. Well, it wasn't completely bald; Peyton clearly saw new hairs, but still it was indisputable what had happened with this boy. Cancer. 'How can it hit even innocent creatures like this' She wondered. _

_"Hi," the boy greeted when he noticed the lady had spotted him. He had a cute children's voice. _

_"Hello," Peyton responded. _

_"What's your name?" _

_"Peyton," she kindly answered. "What's yours?" _

_"Evan." _

_"Evan…Are you here alone? Where's your mommy?" _

_"Feeding the doves." _

_"Does she know you're here?" _

_The boy nodded._

_"Oh," Peyton let out. "Alright." Then she dropped her stare at book again. _

_"What are you reading?" _

_"Uh…Shakespeare," she answered slightly taken aback. He was apparently one of those people who were determined to get something out of her. Strange how such a young child can guess your nature and feel if you're an open or a closed person. Looking at his effortless dimples, his slightly turned up nose and sparkly dark-green eyes somehow, his hairless head that had –to tell the truth- made her feel a bit uncomfortable, became less prominent in her eyes._

_"Can you read it to me?" _

_Briefly the blonde was perplexed. This was a bold little guy. She would never have dared to ask strangers something like that when she had his age. Peyton gazed down at the poem she was reading. It was depressing to say the least; about the years devouring and diminishing everything; about how nothing or no one escapes the cruelty of time. "Eh…" she let out. "I don't know, these poems are really hard to understand an-" _

_"I'll understand it. My mom always says I'm a little Einstein." _

_"OK," Peyton gave in with an amused smile. However, she'd look for a more light-hearted poem than the one laying on her lap. Flipping through pages, she only stopped coming across one of the easiest poems in the bundle and also one of her favourite ones: The Daffodils by Williams Woodsworth. Before Lucas she had never willingly read a poem in her life. It was crazy to think how much he had enriched her life, in ways she couldn't even begin to count. From the subject of love over to intellect over to solidarity. Also, his golden heart had made hers shine more brightly. _

_"Alright," she then gave in to the boy's request and decided to start somewhere in the middle; it was quite a long poem. Before she began, she eyed the boy curiously again. How could he seem so careless and alive when he had such an awful sickness? _

_"The waves beside them danced, but they  
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:-" _

_"What means glee?" Evan interrupted her. _

_"It's the same as 'joy'," she explained before continuing. "A poet could not but be gay-" _

_"Gay?" he cut her off. "Was the poet in love with a man?" _

_"No," she laughed. "It means 'happy'." _

_"That's weird," Evan responded scrunching his nose. _

_Peyton nodded smiling. "Where was I…? Oh, in such a jocund –that means cheerful" she was one step ahead of the boy "company: I gazed-and gazed-but little thought  
what wealth the show to me had brought: _

_For oft when on my couch I lie  
In vacant – that means 'empty'," she immediately informed " or in pensive mood,  
they flash upon that inward eye which is the bliss of solitude,  
and then my heart with pleasure fills,  
and dances with the Daffodils." _

_A soft smile curled Peyton's lips as she had spoken those last words. The feeling of melancholy this poem radiated made it seem as if this little piece of art was written especially for her. This poem was her. _

_"I didn't like it," Evan immediately judged. "It's stupid and it has difficult words." _

_"What?" Peyton asked appalled. "B-" _

_"I know a better poem. I just learned it in school and I know it by heart. We have to say it in front of the whole class on Monday. You want to hear it?" _

_The blonde smiled and nodded. "Alright. Let me hear it." _

_The boy cleared his throat and then began with the most concentrated look on his face. _

_"I dreamed I was riding a zebra with curly pink hair on his head _

_and when I woke up in the morning that zebra was there in my bed. _

_I rode into school on my zebra. It caused all the teachers to scream. _

_But then I was slightly embarrassed to find it was still just a dream. _

_I woke up again in my bedroom, and saw with relief and a laugh _

_I don't have a pink-headed zebra. I guess I'll just ride the giraffe," he finished with a shrug. _

_For the first time in literally months, Peyton let out a sincere laugh. 'What a cute, heart-warming boy' she thought. She had to restrain herself from pinching his cheeks. "That was really good, buddy," she said. "I bet you'll get an A on Monday." _

_"I got an A+ last time," he announced not without pride. _

_"Really?" _

_"U-hum, an-" _

_"Evan!" suddenly sounded a relieved, slightly angry voice. _

_Peyton, judging from the woman's tone and dark-green eyes-the same ones as Evan-, immediately understood she was his mother. _

_"Thank God…" the slender-built woman sighed out when she arrived at the bench. She briefly pulled her son in an embrace. "What did I tell you about running off like this?" she began her preach after pulling back. _

_"Don't do it," the boy responded guiltily. "I'm sorry, mom." _

_The woman shook her head but couldn't help but faintly smile too. "I hope he didn't bother you," she then turned to Peyton. Evan's mother rested her stare on the blonde. Her son didn't only have the tendency to run off, but usually also was drawn to those people who radiated sadness. Lonely souls he then was determined to cheer up. _

_"No," Peyton denied. "Not at all. He made me laugh..." _

_Evan looked up at his mother smugly. "You see, mom? I don't bother people; they like me!" The woman stared at him doubtful until the boy decided he wanted to do something else now. "Can I go play on the swings there?" He pointed at a perfectly visible playground. _

_She sighed. "Evan…" _

_"Please?" _

_"Ten minutes," she gave in yet sternly. "And stay where I can see you!" _

_"Yeah, yeah!" sounded his answer already in the distance. _

_His mother watched Evan with a worried frown as he bounced away. "That boy will be the end of me," she then said to no one in particular. _

_"He seems like a great kid," Peyton responded. "Miss…" she then carefully began. "If you don't mind m-" _

_"It's OK," the woman cut her off. "It's leukemia," she further answered the question she knew Peyton meant to ask. "He's in remission now. Two months already." _

_"Oh…" Moments passed wherein none of the two women said a word. _

_"My name is Peyton, by the way," Peyton touched the silence. _

_"I'm Lisa," the curly brunette responded and then joined the young girl on the bench. _

_Peyton didn't know what came over her when she suddenly felt the tears sting in her eyes. Lisa first scowled non-understanding at the girl's struggling expression but then it dawned on her: she had probably been under similar circumstances. "Are you alright?" she kindly asked. _

_"Yeah," the blonde swallowed her tears away. "It's just that, my dad…He died three months ago." 'I need to stop having emotional breakdowns in front of complete strangers', she thought inside. _

_"Was it also…?" _

_"Lung cancer," she confirmed. _

_"That's uh…a bad one." It was the only thing she could come up with but that didn't mean it wasn't the truth. Everyone knew that once you've been diagnosed with lung cancer, it doesn't bring in to hope for recovery because the vast majority of people dealing with this disease die. The brunette saw Peyton was struggling and so put a comforting hand on her upper leg. "It's awful to lose one of your parents at such a young age. Trust me, I know how it feels." _

_"H-" _

_Lisa bowed her head briefly. "My mother died in a plain crash," she then openly explained. "Right before they diagnosed cancer with Evan." _

_"Oh, God," Peyton sighed out. "I'm so sorry." She cursed herself for using these words since she hated hearing them so much after both her mother and her father's death but she truly didn't know what else to say. "Uhmmm…How…How did you cope?" _

_"I didn't," she confessed and turned her head at Peyton. "I practically locked myself in my room; the only time I came out was to go to the hospital." _

_"Then how come you are where you are now?" the blonde asked confused. "You seem so…happy." _

_"I am…But I don't really know how come…" She thought. "I just woke up one day and I realized that I couldn't go on like that. After those things happened to me, I…I convinced myself that my life was doomed. But then Evan got better, and so did I, and seriously… You have no idea how much that boy looks like his grandmother so… I believe mom is still with us. I have to be honest, I don't believe in things like Heaven- but I do believe she lives on if we don't forget her; through Evan and through cherishing the moments we spent with her." _

_Peyton gazed in front of her with a frown. "It's hard," she then sighed out. "And tiring." _

_"Only if you want it to be like that." _

_Perplex the curly blonde looked up at Lisa. She remembered how Lucas had said at Rauwolf… 'You're addicted to chaos. You know why you're not happy? Because you want nor allow yourself to be._'_ This woman, this stranger had just hit the nail on the head. They were right: she could be the happiest girl alive; up until a month ago, she had the most perfect boyfriend, great friends and simply a wonderful future lying ahead. Now she only had her academic performances going for her. _

_"Why are you telling me all of this?" Peyton then asked. _

_"You seem like you could use it," Lisa simply replied. _

_Not long after Lisa had told her the pure truth, Evan came running towards them again with a pants full of mud. Under a lot of complaining, the two soon decided to go home, put him in bath and so left. With a little goodbye wave, they left Peyton alone with a million thoughts running through her head. _

Gazing her father's picture, Peyton recalled a good memory and smiled. She was doing it, right? If she'd continue like this, things would be alright. The only problem was that she felt she had nothing left for her here in New York. Sure, there was Rachel but that one was always making out with Nathan and Brooke had Clive. What did she have? Nothing. _College_. It was her own fault, yes, but that didn't make it any less difficult. It made it even worse actually to realize you let your happiness slip away. When she had finished saying out loud or inside what she had come here for, she rose from the earth and stepped back. She still had class today so she had to head back to the centre.

About thirty minutes later, she was walking past the same florist shop she had bought her flowers earlier. However, the shop next to it –a Lee Cooper one- seemed a lot more appealing right now. She walked in and immediately headed for a brown leather jacket that caught her eye. Above the racks lay a Beatles tank top. 'Excellent', the blonde thought. It was freeing to be able to put her worries aside once in a while, even if it was through simple shopping. She walked into changing rooms and waited until one of the cabins was vacant. After she had put the shirt one, the thing –to her own surprise- was too small. She had to take an 'S' instead of an 'XS' 'cause it all crawled together, exposed her tummy and showed too much cleavage.

At that moment, a pretty, petite platinum-blonde with big grey-blue eyes marched into the dressing rooms with a bunch of short denim skirts swung over her arm. Just as Peyton was pulling the fabric of her shirt down a little, not wanting to accept she had an 'S', the blonde girl bumped into her, entering a cabin. "Sorry," the girl apologized.

"It's O-" Peyton's words staggered in her throat when she saw who was accompanying the girl. The world stood completely still as she locked eyes with his reflection in complete shock. She grew cold and hot at once and felt a shiver run over her spine. It had been weeks since she had seen him. A long time, you say? Well, that's all relative…Four weeks was ridiculously short if you consider that's all it had taken him to get over her and move on to another girl.

"Lucas?" sounded from the blonde in the cabin. "Can you come here? I need your opinion."

Peyton turned her head at the curtain separating Lucas'…whatever-she-was from the outside. He had already moved on? Had she meant _that_ much that he could replace her so soon, with a random? She wasn't disappointed as much as she was saddened. She couldn't help but wonder if this girl made him smile like _she_ used too when she woke up in the morning; if he also kept his eyes shut for a mere second after sharing a kiss with her. Did she make him feel the same way she had? Was he in love with her like he had been with her? She didn't greet him; she didn't do _anything_ but look into his blue eyes.

Lucas gazed back at her deeply touched; he couldn't hide how heavily this encounter moved him, yet he wanted to so he turned his head away from her. She hadn't just broken his heart; she had ripped it out and then trampled on it brutally. He hated her. He hated her but he loved her at the same time. She haunted him not only in his dreams, but every singly day and so he searched for ways to push her out of his mind. Mostly the girls he picked up were meant only as one-night stands but some, like this clingy one, stuck around for about three days. However, even after all the girls he had gone through, Peyton's scent still didn't seem to disappear from his pillow as didn't the memory of her laughter, her witty sarcasm and their love. It was pure torture to see her yet he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from her.

He wanted to bore her into the ground yet grab her and kiss her. Yell but hold her close to his body. But he wouldn't do anything. No initiative would ever come from his part again; she had hurt him too much and all he was trying to do now was move on. He hadn't expected it to be this hard, though… Every time he thought things were getting better; a song she loved on the radio, a drawing pad in a show-room, a curly girl or like now, for the first time, Peyton _herself_ would bring him back to their good times and further to the night of her break-up. He already knew now his evening would consist of dark thoughts and a couch.

"Lucas!" the blonde now seemed agitated. "I asked if you could please come here."

When Lucas took his first steps forward, Peyton disappeared in her cabin and breathed deeply in and out. Not even a minute later she stormed out the jean shop carefully avoiding any more eye contact with Lucas.

On the streets, she let her eyes scan the surroundings until they found a shelter. When she found that, she quickly disappeared into a dark alley where she leaned her body against one of its walls, threw her hand in front of her eyes and burst into tears. For a second, she thought she might throw up but that seemed to be false alarm; it was the shock messing with her. Tears streamed down her face as her brain processed what had just taken place. She had lost him forever...

After a while, she forced herself to calm down, dried her eyes and stepped out of the alley. She had done this to herself. She should deal with it.

x

After class, Peyton gathered the books laying on the little desk in front of her and walked towards the exit of the auditorium. During his explanation, Jourdan had eyed her the whole time; not because he thought she looked ridiculously sexy today with her jean skirt, high heels and rock shirt -although he wouldn't now what rock band displayed on it; he just knew a piece of clothing like that was supposed to be a rock tee- but because today he was going to ask her if she'd come with him to Paris. Off course he wouldn't say it like that; he'd pour it into the concept of an internship.

"Peyton, can I talk to you for a minute?" he called the blonde.

Peyton scowled but nonetheless walked up to him. Then he began to talk. With each word, her mouth fell open a little bit more. Paris? Le Louvre? This was nuts. And amazing! And crazy…What had she done to deserve this? She was just a freshman. Shouldn't an opportunity like this go to someone with more experience? After he had rounded off, Jourdan basically demanded an immediate answer. Peyton thought. Could she do this?

_What about_…There's were she got stuck. Like she had said before, Rachel and Brooke were still around to offer her friendship but they had their lives; their boyfriends. And Lucas? Lucas had a new_ girlfriend_ too; not that that mattered. She and Lucas were in the past now; he could do what he wanted, even if that involved dating a new _slut_, uhmmm…_Girl_. To escape him now seemed heavenly right now and… If he moved on, couldn't she try to do so too? A bit later, Peyton left the auditorium with an internship at Le Louvre in her hands.

x

" Paris?"

Rachel's mouth fell open.

"Watch out," Peyton warned. "You don't want to catch flies."

"You can't go to Paris!" the redhead protested. "And especially not with that creeper!"

"It pains me to say this…" Brooke jumped in. "But I'm with Rachel on this."

"You guys, this is a great opportunity!" the blonde protested.

"To get _raped_?"

"Please, B," Peyton sighed with an eye-roll. "He's not like that. He's my professor and probably on of the smartest men in the world. He's not some sex-crazed beast…You guys have a wrong idea of men, by the way. I think it's because you both used to…uh…You know…Weren't exactly our Holy Virgin Mary."

Brooke and Rachel locked eyes with a pout. "But aren't you going to miss New York?" the redhead further tried to convince her to stay. "This is your home."

"It would only be for a couple of months."

"Three!" Brooke held up three fingers appalled.

"You can't leave…" Rachel sadly said. "You were just becoming the…_Old_ Peyton again. I need you here. Whom else will I bitch about Haley to?"

"Look, P," her cousin began. "I know why you're doing this; I really do. It's easier to leave than to be left behind b-"

"You so totally stole that from REM," Peyton accused. "Plagiarism…" She shook her head pseudo-disapproving.

"Sarcasm won't get you out of this," Rachel cut her off indignant. "I'm sick of you hurting us. We care about you."

"_Ho_, there," the blonde protested at once. "What should I do instead then? Cry some more? I'm so sick of that, you know. I mean…" She thought. "If Lucas is moving on, so should I."

"What are you talking about?" Rachel asked confused. "Lucas is a wreck!"

"No," she protested. "Lucas is dating someone else. I saw him together with some blonde in Lee Cooper."

"Peyton…" her brown-eyed friend sighed. "Look… I can't say I'm surprised, but this is just his way of trying to get over you… You know as well as me that those girls don't mean anything to him."

"They mean something to me!" Peyton replied with slightly louder voice. "You know I almost threw up? I was so shocked I almost threw up, I mean, isn't that crazy?!?"

"P…" Brooke tried to soothe her but she was powerless against Peyton's rant.

"So I'm sorry that I feel I just need to get away for a while and that the perfect chance for that was offered me today. And I'm sorry that I'm _taking_ that chance but really, it has nothing to do with you guys. This is for me. I certainly don't want to hurt you; I just want this for myself a-"

"So you're running from Lucas? Why don't you try to get him back? I can't see why you're giving up on him so soon."

"You weren't there! I…" she bowed her head. "You weren't there…"

"Look, P-"

"Please, it's not about Lucas, I told you this if for me…"

"Bu-"

"Stop!" Peyton then ordered firmly and reduced both girls to ashes with a lightening stare. "Enough. If you aren't going to be happy for me, I'd rather have it if you say nothing at all," she spoke indignant before briefly pausing. I'm going to Paris either way," she then continued. "And that's that."

x

After she had returned from her afternoon spent in the city and walked into her apartment, Rachel saw Lucas attached to a Playstation controller. This was the other remedy except girls he used against the pain. Dumb video games. Rachel frowned sadly; she hated seeing him like this just like she hated seeing Peyton so blue. Couldn't they just try again? She began to wonder if they even _wanted_ to be happy; it was like they always needed a little drama in their lives.

"How are you?" the redhead asked.

"Fine," Lucas replied shortly. "And I'd be a lot better if you wouldn't ask me how I am every goddamn time you see my face."

"I'm just worried about you!"

"You shouldn't be." He looked over his shoulder. "I'm fine; great even… OK?"

Obviously, Rachel, saw that was a big fat lie. She knew how much Peyton had been shaken by their encounter this midday and only the assumption that Lucas would be Little Mister Sunshine after this was completely absurd. "You don't seem great," she lamely responded.

"I'm a _great_ actor."

'Sarcasm', Rachel thought and rolled her eyes inside. 'Where did I see that before'? "There's…uhmm…" she hesitantly began. "There's something I think you should know." She had doubted telling him about Peyton's little trip to Paris but had decided he deserved to know.

"What?" he asked; his attention in the meanwhile again pointed to the game console. "My behaviour is upsetting? I shouldn't act like a…What did you call me again? A man-whore?"

Rachel's cheeks flushed a little. She had indeed had a bit of a go at him last week the morning after she had bumped into a half-naked brunette. How silly and mother-like it may sound, his behaviour did upset her. She could understand this break-up weighed heavy on him but it was like Peyton had taken the nice, sympathetic Lucas away when she left him and to tell the truth, this Lucas made her want to pull her pretty red hair out. He was obnoxious, snappy and on top of that, never cleaned up anything anymore. She always had to make the pig-stable he left behind disappear… If it weren't for Nathan and the pity he had for his brother, she would've already slapped some sense into him.

"No," she kept her calmness. "It's about Peyton."

It was as if Rachel squeezed his heart by just uttering this name. "No," he protested. "I don't want to hear it."

"She's leaving for Paris," the redhead ignored his request. "On an internship with that Alekseyev guy."

Rachel backed away a bit when he rose from the couch and gazed at her with the most despising look she had ever seen in his eyes. It was scary. "I thought I told you I didn't want to hear anything about P- about _her_!!!" he shouted. He hadn't been enough, but this guy however, could offer her the world and he hated it. He was so jealous and angry he was about to burst. Even now that he hardly ever saw her; she managed to hurt him so deeply. And didn't Rachel know how much this must pain him? Couldn't she just let him be?

"I-I just th-" she stammered but was cut off.

"You thought wrong!!!" he continued with a loud, enraged voice. "I don't want to hear that name ever again in my life, is that clear?!?! Let her go to Paris, I don't care! She can spread her legs for anyone she wants; and I wish that asshole a lot of luck, 'cause he's going to need it."

Rachel's jaw briefly dropped. "You don't mean that," she let out shocked.

Lucas just shook his head in disbelief. Did this girl know no shame? The worst thing is that he hated himself for talking about Peyton in this manner. Literally it was as if someone was holding a knife near his throat and softly pushing it. He wished he indeed didn't care because he hated the power she had over him. His happiness depended only on her and it was unbearable.

"I don't care what you say;" Rachel then said. "I know you love her and I know how much it hurts you that she's going to Paris with him. But she loves you too, Lucas. She l-"

"Stop!" he choked out. The threats he had wanted to throw her way, staggered in his throat. Warning, he lifted his finger and even opened his mouth but then abruptly turned around and disappeared through his room door. He didn't understand why Rachel had told him this. What did she want him to do? Tell her not to go and make a complete fool out of himself? Plus, it seemed like she was doing well for herself; she was discovering new places so why would he stop her? How much he might detest her for doing this, he still wanted the best for her.

x

With a deep sigh, Peyton plumped down on the breathtaking heavenly bed and scanned the luxury surrounding her. The light-turquoise painted suite itself was huge and contained various seats, cupboards, a royal bathroom and beautiful, posh lamps. The whole thing was practically the size of her house, and the floor was covered with a dark-beige carpet whereon a black-and white striped couch stood between two black cupboards with golden handles. On both cupboards rested odd-looking plants, which made Peyton think about Lucas. It drove her crazy: here she was, in a gorgeous Parisian suite and all she could think about was Lucas and how it would've been if she could've shared this with him. Her last three weeks in New York had gone by quite fast since a lot had to be taken care off…and also, everyday -against better knowledge- she had hoped for Lucas to knock on her door and ask her to stay. How lesser time there was for that wish to come true, how faster the days had passed.

However, now as she sat here in one of Hôtel Castille's stunning suites, time seemed to crawl by, and she had only been here for an hour. Mr. Alekseyev had a meeting somewhere so she was stuck here alone in a foreign country and on top of that, her internship didn't start until Monday. It was Friday now… But that latter one wasn't the worst thing, really. She could go shopping tomorrow; she needed new clothes. Lady-like clothes. The blonde entered her bathroom and changed into her pyjamas, careful not to touch anything and spoil the beauty of all this marble luxury. After, she crawled under the salmon-coloured sheets and pulled them up until you could only see her head. She looked like a little lost fish in the big ocean that was her bed. Forcefully, she ordered herself to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow with the cheerfulness of Brooke and the carelessness of Bevin.

Peyton's stare shortly fell on the odd-looking plants on the cupboards that reminded her of Lucas. She'd get rid of them tomorrow. Getting over Lucas would be easier if she'd just banish everything that could be related to him, she figured. Just before she closed her eyes, she caught the sight of a painting. It was a Monet replica. 'Le Bassin Aux Nympheas': a picture of beautiful water lilies drifting on a pond; surrounded by green trees and topped off by a wooden, white bridge. Peyton squinted her eyes and noticed some of the painted flowers resembled Lucas' eye colour an awful lot.

She'd ask to remove the Monet too.

* * *

The chapter title is obviously a song by R.E.M. and anyone who hasn't heard of the song yet (is that possible?) go d/l it right away! ;) 

BTW, some people send me a PM with things they'd like to see happen. I certainly don't mind that and wish I could take everything into consideration but the thing is that I sort of already got everything mapped out for this story. I do like to read your opinions so tell me what you think!


	14. Regrets, I Had a Few

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. :) By the way, if you have the time, please go check out my other story.

* * *

14. Regrets, I Had a Few 

Nearly hyperventilating, Peyton stumbled into the Starbucks laying on the ground floor of Le Louvre. She just hoped she had remembered everything right: a Caramel Macchiato with an equal amount of vanilla and caramel topped of by just a _tad_ of cacao powder sprinkled on top of a thick layer of milk foam, three cappuccinos and one White Chocolate Mocha. Huffing and puffing in stress, she reached the counter and was immediately greeted by the ever cheerful 'Bonjour' of Bruno the barista. Since getting Mr. Alekseyev his coffee on daily basis had been Peyton's main task for the past couple of weeks, she had befriended the gay coffee bartender.

Bruno had big brown curls, blue eyes and a quite pronounced nose. Overall he was very handsome and during her stay, Peyton had seen many women's face drip with disappointment when he finely pointed out he was gay. He was a genuinely nice guy and Peyton loved his sharp, yet in broken English comments he gave about her boss-slash-professor. During her breaks and after work, she'd always join him at the bar with a cappuccino and gossip about her co-workers until her tongue fell off.

Anyway, from the moment Peyton and Mr. Alekseyev had arrived here –which would by now be almost a month and a half ago-, until about two weeks ago, Mr. Alekseyev had treated her like a queen. Her daily routine had been –in order- following the museum guides, take some copies, eat lunch, follow some more guides, get back to the hotel, dress up and go to a beautiful Parisian restaurant –usually with some other colleagues-, as they had done every night. However, the night when it had been just the two of them had ended up turning her into Cinderella.

_"Voudriez-vous encore un peu du Macchiole, mademoiselle?_

_Peyton looked up at the waiter troubled. Even more wine? She had been pouring alcohol down her throat all night. She wanted to say 'no' but she knew the wine was expensive so she just nodded and mumbled a 'Merci' when he had filled her glass._

_"So…Where's the rest?" she then asked her professor._

_"Does it matter?"_

_She scowled. "No…I guess." When she saw him keeping his stare on her intensely, she furrowed her brows even deeper and then reached for her glass. She didn't feel comfortable here alone with Mr. Alekseyev. This felt an awful lot like a date. While he was a very handsome man whom she had a lot of admiration for, she wasn't planning on anything more than a normal student-teacher relationship._

_"You look beautiful," he then suddenly said._

_"Thank you."_

_Normally she wouldn't think of this compliment as odd. French men, she had learned, were quite the charmers and everywhere she went there was at least one musing about her beautiful green eyes or unique curls. However, his tone suggested this wasn't just something platonic he had thrown at her.__The rest of the meal, she ate her lamb-with-thyme quietly and avoided his eyes. This was not pleasant to say the least. Without fully realizing, she almost downed a whole bottle in less than two hours in the vain hope her discomfort would flow away._

_The result?_

_ A wasted Peyton hopping cheerfully on the Parisian cobble stones not long after dinner. _

_"I know a French song, Mr. Alekseye- Jourdan!" she announced. She called him 'Jourdan' because he had insisted many times. Just as he had many times hinted he wanted something more than just an internship from her. Impressed sheep as she had been, she hadn't noticed up until this tête-à-tête. "You want to hear it?"_

_"Sure," he responded. This could work out. She was very drunk and it seemed like she wouldn't need to be persuaded very much into coming to his room later on._

_Peyton closed her eyes and began to press the tones of 'Comme d'Habitude' by Claude François' out of her throat. Being the music expert she was, she had known since she was about six years old that Frank Sinatra had just taken over the music of this song and written his own lyrics to it. The song that eventually came out was 'My Way'. She continued singing for quite a while before she smacked herself against a wall. Seconds later he was with her._

_"You know what that song is about?" he asked her as he began to tower above her. She hardly reacted when he came closer and closer with his head. Just as he was about to kiss her, she let out a whimper. _

_"I'm sad," she let out. "And tired. Like the man in the song!" _

_"Why?" he asked her and cupped her cheek. "Look around you; you've got Montmarte on your left and Le Sacré Coeur on you right…You're in Paris; you should be happy! This is the city of light." _

_He gazed into her big green eyes a couple of seconds before deciding to give it another go. On some level Peyton was aware about what he was going to do but she didn't do anything to stop it. Maybe it could help and if Lucas did it, why shouldn't she? So she let Alekseyev bow over and kiss her. In that one's mind went 'finally'. After he pulled back, Peyton looked at him with an even more saddened frown before shaking her head. _

_"No…" she whined. "It's not the same."_

_"What?"_

_"All my fault!" She closed her eyes and sighed. "I…extinguished the flame of our love!" she then continued poetically. "I'm a happiness- extinguisher!"_

_"Huh?"_

_"He's such a sleepyhead," she began to tell about her ex-boyfriend to someone who didn't want to her a word about him. "With the thickest blonde hair." She caught little bits of air as if she was running her fingers through his blonde locks. "And he wasn't only hot, but so smart and sweet…although he could act like a baby whenever someone pointed out his brother could play better basketball..." Peyton sighed. "We were great together. Perfect. Par-fait! No doubts, no…coldness, no pretending…" She closed her eyes and mumbled something incoherent before continuing. "Oh, Jourdan, I love him so much." Her face completely deformed. "But now he's sleeping with…everyone and it's all my fault! I-"_

_"Enough!" he snapped when the speech about her ex kept continuing._

_"…Death Tra-Where are you going?"_

_She began to run after Jourdan who was by now metres in front of her by the side of the street hailing a cab._

_"Back to the hotel."_

_She nodded with a sudden smile again. When she was drunk her mood truly changed like the wind which had left her friends confused more than once in the past. _

_So this night is where it all turned sour. ..For months Alekseyev-or Jourdan as Peyton had been allowed to call him- had waited until he could get her in bed at last only to come to the realization that he wouldn't succeed in doing that. This hadn't been the first time she had whined about her ex, you mind. She'd constantly make small comments with a sad face and frankly, he had gotten sick and tired of it.__Plus, if she wasn't pouting about that Lucas kid, she found something else to look like a beaten puppy about like 'homesickness', 'Rachel' or 'Brooke'. This was Paris, for God's sakes, a city superior to New York in all ways. How could she want to go back to Manhattan? Such an ungrateful little brat. But he decided not to care anymore. His mission was over. Failed. Finito. And now she would have to sweat it out…_

"Tu ne lui laisserais pas te traiter comme ça," Bruno told her. It meant 'You shouldn't let him treat you like this.' Sometimes he spoke French to her, sometimes English. It really depended one which he was in the mood for although he used English more since he spoke it better than Peyton French.

"Wait…" she shook her head as her hands raged in her purse, on a quest to the letters Mr. Alekseyev wanted to send later on. "Did I say equal cacao powder and vanilla?"

"Ouais."

"That should be equal vanilla and caramel…" she said panicky "And where are those damn letters!?!"

"Du calme. Je te ferai un autre," he reassured her and began to make her another Macchiato.

"Okay..." she sighed out relieved with the letters in her hand. She took a few deep breaths.

"Ce que j'en pense, c'est que -" Bruno began as he put the second, _right_ drink in front of her nose but was cut off by Peyton.

"Yes… you're thinking that if we were to kill everybody who hates Alekseyev, it wouldn't be murder but genocide," she dryly responded. As she had discovered, she wasn't the only one having problems with her professor. Every female, beautiful worker in the museum hated his guts, although for different reasons then Peyton. A lot of women had indeed slept with him and then grown increasingly furious when he'd simply ignore them after.

"Ça aussi," he nodded. "Mais ce que je voulais dir-"

"Could you please switch to English, I'm still too stressed too concentrate. I can't handle this…" she sighed as she alphabetized the many letters in her hands. "I'm all over the place…."

"What I wanted to say is that I think you should go back home and win _ton petit ami _back."

Yes, Bruno knew everything about her situation back at home; she had talked about it with him many times and he had always listened patiently. To tell the truth, while Rachel and Brooke where her best friends, she found this guy's personality leaned much more towards her. He was slightly bitter concerning the past, wonderfully sarcastic and a though cookie when it comes down to it. He had also accelerated her mourning process and even let her laugh about her own misery. It had been refreshing and Bruno was basically what had made Paris a success for her.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because one, he isn't my 'petit ami' anymore and two, I'm sure he hates me…He'll hate me forever. As will Alekseyev, and if I don't give him these letters and this freaking puzzle of a Macchiato right now, I'm screwed," she announced before turning around and tapping away nervously.

x

"What are you doing?!?"

Nathan looked up from his games' book, into Rachel's angered brown eyes. "I'm making a Sudoku," he responded sheepishly.

"No, I want to know why you're hiding things from me," Rachel said angered. Her eyes narrowed to splits when she saw her boyfriend's expression change to a busted one.

"Look, Rach…" he began. "That has nothing to do with you."

"No?!?" she yelled. "You get your divorce papers, hide them as far away in your closet as you can and this has nothing to do with me? I'm your girlfriend!"

"God, Rach," he sighed out frustrated and buried his head in his hands. "I know, alright? I'm a horrible person but you don't know how it feels…"

She calmed down and furrowed her brows sadly. Soon she completely cracked and joined him in the couch. Softly she put her hand on his and looked in his eyes as he intertwined his hand with hers. "Help me understand…"

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this," he apologized. "It's not that I want to go back or even try and save us, but I feel amputated. She was my…"

"First love," she finished his sentence.

Nathan looked up and nodded.

"You see? I do understand, but you can't keep things from me."

"I'm sorry."

"But you are…"

"Rachel, off course," he immediately picked up what she wanted to ask. "I want to be with you, alright? I and Haley tried twice but we didn't work out. I loved her Rachel, I really did, but I felt like I could never completely be myself around her; I constantly felt like I wasn't good enough. But you…" He smiled and tucked one of her red locks behind her ear. "You're as bad as I am."

"Hey!" she protested. "That's not romantic!"

He gave her and incredible look. "You know what's not romantic? A girlfriend who sneaks around in your closets. Where you looking for your birthday present?"

"N-No….I…I…I was looking for some camomile soap."

"Sure," he smiled. "Because I take long baths with camomile soap every day."

"N-"

"It's OK… You're too curious for your own good and you make lame-ass excuses but I love those things about you. I love you just the way you are."

"Really?"

"Yes. And you?"

"Yeah…Although you really should start cleaning your bathroom after you showered. Poor Luke…"

"At least he can't go bed-hopping in this state."

"So what? You're saying you're tendency to flood the bathroom is a good thing?"

"Exactly," he nodded.

"You're unbelievable." She smiled and threw an arm around his neck.

"That's why you l-"

His words were cut off by her lips brushing over his. As usual, it didn't take long before they were laying down half-naked. Both groaned in irritation when the phone resting all the way in the kitchen rang. Rachel was about to answer it when Nathan pulled her down again and began to leave a trail of kisses in her neck.

"Let it go."

She hesitated but then bowed over and leaded his lips towards hers again. Both their eyes widened when Peyton's voice suddenly filled the room. Rachel jumped off Nathan and ran towards the phone at once.

"Hi," she puffed.

"Hey. Nathan's with you?"

"How do you know?"

"Because you usually stay in around this hour so I can immediately reach you but now it took you ages to pick up the phone."

"Hmm," Rachel let out. "You're a smartass."

"And you're probably in your bra."

Before the redhead could protest, her jaw dropped in panic when suddenly Brooke walked through her door. She gasped an 'Oh, my God', and made some nervous hand gestures at Nathan who threw her her shirt.

"Why are you here?" Nathan asked Brooke. The brunette bit her bottom lip and gazed up at her friend's ex somewhat guiltily.

"Oh…" he let out. So she was here to find out how things were standing with the divorce papers.

"What's going on?" Peyton who heard the business asked.

"The Brookie monster is here."

"Can-"

"Yeah, wait, I'm gonna put it on speaker," she cut her off and pressed a little button.

"Brooke?"

"Hey, P. Sawyer!" Brooke smiled. "How's Paris?"

"It's OK."

"OK?"

"Yeah, well…It's kind of hard work," she sighed. "I pissed Alekseyev off and …" She paused and became a bit emotional. "Brooke…I'm a _toilet lady _now!"

Brooke, Rachel and Nathan simultaneously cried out:

"What?"

"Well, I started out doing, you know, little jobs like copying and following guides but then one night, he took me to this restaurant, alone and I got very drunk and then he kissed me-"

"He kissed you?!?"

"How many people are listening?" Peyton asked puzzled when the questions sounded like they were asked by a choir.

"Just me, Brooke and Nate. Go on, what happened after the perv kissed you?"

"I began to talk about, about…"

"About?"

"_Lucas_…And I don't think Alekseyev liked it. He started to give me all these lame-ass jobs like getting coffee and getting the mail and now today he was angry because I accidentally spilled coffee on his letter because it was a letter to someone very important… And then he said I was a stupid American cow." Her voice began to break a little. "He said the only thing I can handle is cleaning toilets so that's where I am now."

"You're in the bathroom?"

"Yes," she confirmed in a desperate voice. "It isn't pleasant."

Although Nathan, Brooke and Rachel couldn't see it, they knew she had begun to cry. "Peyton…Why don't you come home?" Rachel asked with pity.

"I can't let him beat me. Besides, I still have Bruno."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Who's Bruno? Damn, P., you attract guys like syrup flies."

"Brooke, he's _gay_…and the only one I have here in Paris." She briefly paused. "Look, I know it isn't fair to say this, but…When Alekseyev kissed me, it didn't feel the same as when Luke did, not even close. I miss him. I spent half my days wondering how things would be if he were with me in Paris right now. It took me a while to realize it, but I had a lot of time to think about it here and…I was wrong. I was wrong about everything and now I just want him back. I want Lucas back."

"Oh, djeez," Nathan sighed out quite loudly. He was immediately answered with a tap from Brooke.

"Why are you going 'Oh, djeez'?" Peyton asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Nathan responded despite Rachel and Brooke's warning looks. "Peyton…You know I like you; I have no problems with you but please… leave him alone. You've hurt him more than any other person I've ever known. More than me and my dad; and that's saying something," he admitted. "You've hurt him up until the point that I don't recognize my own brother anymore."

"That's because he loves her so much!" Rachel protested.

"Yes, but love shouldn't be about pain." Brooke gave a small understanding nod. Nathan was right on some level.

"Oh come on, you guys both know how they were before her da- Before _stuff_ happened," Rachel played Peyton's defender. "Nate, you and me, we spent many nights joking and complaining about how they were always whispering nauseating lovey-dovey stuff in each others ears…And then all those nights when we heard them doing it; it's like there was no end!"

"Rach!" suddenly sounded loudly.

"Sorry," she apologized. "But the point is that she's made him unhappy now, yes, but remember how he was with her?"

They all went completely silent. If you look back, it was all the more depressing seeing how things were now. They were the couple literally everyone had been rooting for, even Brooke in the end. She had been so furious about their affair steam had almost left her ears and nose. However, when she had found her own love; her own peace and she had reunited with Peyton, she had seen how good her ex was with her cousin. They connected on every level and at some times, you wondered if they had lied all their lives; if they had known each other since they were little kids 'cause they knew the other through and through. Plus, what Rachel said was true; they could never keep their hands off each other.

"You guys, I got to go…" Peyton broke the silence. "Clean some more toilets."

x

"And look here…" Haley smiled. "I don't know why everyone always says you're such a nice guy; you were so horrible pouring that bucket over me."

"Hmmm…" Lucas groaned.

Haley looked up and rolled her eyes. This album-watching was supposed to be a shared, reminiscing activity but he seemed to be just waiting until it was over. "Luke, please, I'm trying my very best here."

"I'm sorry, Hales," he sighed. "You're right, I'm being an ass. So what were you talking about?"

"Garden. Bucket. You. Terror."

"Oh…"

"Never mind." She stood up and took the album with her, putting it back in her closet. "I'd say I give you a penny for your thoughts but it'd be wasting my money."

He threw a cursory look on his hand. "Let's not go there."

Peyton was always on his mind, everyone knew that and so it was even more frustrating to him that he couldn't seem to forget about her. Worse was the he also held a grudge towards Peyton. He couldn't only not _forget_ her, but he also couldn't _forgive_ her. It still pissed him off, how she had broken off with him and then jumped on a plane to Paris with the man who he had always suspected to have a thing for her. It was like she had intentionally wanted to hurt him; twist the knife even deeper into the wound.

To make matters even worse, his idiot of a brother had created a swimming pool in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago which had caused the plaster now attached to his leg, something that made temporarily disabled . It was like lately nothing was working out for him anymore, but he'd make damn sure Nathan would pay his rent for the two months he couldn't work.

"Fine, alright, whatever you want," Haley immediately responded. However, inside she wasn't of that subject yet and she thought that it had to be addressed sooner or later. This blues of him had been going on for so long that she had begun to wonder if 'Time heals all wounds' didn't apply on her friend.

While she had been relieved he had gotten out of that relationship at first, she had slowly begun to change her mind now. It seemed like he needed her to merely _function_ properly. Personally she had taken the step of sending Nathan the divorce papers and it felt like a relief. She loved him and probably always would but he wasn't her _true_ love. Just her _first_, she now realized. Haley James was ready to explore life and was filled with anticipation that sadly enough wasn't present in her best friend.

x

"What do you mean, people have complained?" Peyton asked irritated beyond belief. "I clean toilets. How can you go wrong _cleaning toilets_?"

"I don't know, but you've managed to do so. Now leave my office and see you do a better job tomorrow!"

"No," she sharply responded. She had enough.

"No?"

"_Non_, do you understand that better?" She had promised herself not to get worked up concerning his behaviour but there was a line, and he had crossed it. She was sure that if he could, he'd degrade her even more. "You know, everyone was right about you; _you_…are an _asshole_ a-"

"Leave my office, I said! I've got a lot of work to do."

"Just out of curiosity," she ignored his request. "How many women in here 'haven't' you banged yet?"

Alekseyev turned all shades of red before regaining his normal colour.

"Be careful. You're walking on thin ice here…"

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm still your professor so there's a lot that I can do…"

"Is that a threat?" she rhetorically asked. "Because if it is, I must warn you… I don't react too well on those. I might up telling things you don't want me to tell. "

"No one would believe you," he immediately waved her comment away which only confirmed Peyton's suspicion that she wasn't the first student he tried to 'charm' either. "Me on the other hand…I've got your future in my hands."

"No…I've got yours in mine."

His eyes began to shift nervously. He had done so many ethical disputable things he didn't know which one she was actually referring to.

"What do you know?"

"It's heavenly," she responded cryptic.

The guy might be a scumbag, but he certainly wasn't dumb.

"Céleste," he let out and rolled his eyes. This girl was more underhand that he had thought.

She nodded with a slightly proud smile. Out of common decency, she hadn't wanted to blackmail him with the things she had found out working in his office but this situation had come too far for her not to use the information she had to try and better it.

"That's what happens when you use me as your personal slave."

"You've been snooping around in my personal life!"

"And your precise observation is dazzling me," she responded sarcastically. "So…If you don't want anyone to find out you're sleeping with the dean's wife –which I have a box full of proof of- I suggest you start to treat me a bit better. _Compris?_"

"Your contract ends in a week."

"And in that week, I better won't be cleaning the toilets or _bye, bye career_. Because you know if one scandal is in the open, it won't take long before _more _will get out."

"You're evil!"

"I guess that's what happens to people when they hang around you for too long," she responded. "But I've got to go now; I have a dinner date with someone I actually _like_. _À demain_!"

She turned around and walked out of his office, first quite slowly but then faster and faster until she was running through the Louvre. When she reached the Starbucks, she ran further behind the counter and wrapped her arms around Bruno.

"I did it!" she cried happily.

"Did what?"

"I broke him…You should've seen his face; it's like he saw a ghost! But I was so nervous, I thought I was going to faint. He didn't see it though…Ah, I'm so happy! No more cleaning toilets for me!"

"That reminds me…I hope you washed your hands before you touched me."

"No, but that's OK, I've worn gloves all day." She laughed when he gave her a disgusted look. "Joking."

x

A week went by quite fast. Peyton longed to be back home but the last seven days had been a pleasure doing what she had come to Paris for and study the grand masters of art. In her breaks and during her free days she had –if his schedule had allowed it- gone shopping with Bruno or just grabbed a bite or coffee with him. Now she stood back with her suitcases in her home and smiled. It hadn't all been fun and giggles, but overall her stay in Paris had definitely helped her move on. She was no longer a sobbing pile of misery but ready to face life again.

Peyton had found her spark back and now she wanted Lucas back too. Was it selfish? Yes, but she hadn't been herself five months ago. She had been worth nothing as a girlfriend back then; she had hardly been a decent human being. However, she was _now_ and she was planning to fight for Lucas with all that she had. This wasn't just about knowing you want it, but about knowing how bad. The biggest obstacle? That would be that he's Lucas. He was a lot like her, in a lot of ways. He put up walls too and certainly wasn't the type to openly discuss his pain so Peyton knew this wasn't going to be easy. Actually, 'invent a motor so powerful it can travel through time' sounded easier than 'win Lucas back' right now. But that didn't make her lose vision on her goal. She wanted and would get him back.

After she had left him the first time, out of the cabin to New York, he had called her non-stop. Now there had been _nothing_. No calls, no dropping by at her work…Nothing. She had hurt him deeply, she knew, but she also knew from her friends that he didn't cope without her and she...She just felt the same. Although she was better now, she felt she wouldn't be complete until she was with Lucas again and this was something she had _never_ felt with Jake. After she had let him go, she had never looked back. Now, with Lucas, she did so much her neck had grown sore. So from now on, she'd concentrate on the present and future, which she was determined to spent with _him_.

_I remember rights done wrong  
Heartaches that I've overcome  
I've had my share of losing  
But now I know where I belong_

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I know this chapter was a bit lighter but I think it was in order after all the angst :). Anyway, I hoped you guys liked it. Tell me what you think!

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	15. Twilight Zone

Disclaimer: I don't own OTH.

A/N: So…3 weeks without an update. Not cool, right? I'm sorry you guys **but** I'm making it up to you by this HUGE chapter. It's +6000 words. :) Like always, I'd like to thank all the reviewers, who really keep me going 'cause as you might've noticed, I had a major writer's block. I also appreciate the suggestions you guys sent me but it's hard to take some of those in my mind when you your story all planned out.

Anyway, enjoy and leave a review if you can!

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15. Twilight Zone 

_- Time will prove my love to you and cement my place in your heart forever. For time will give me the credibility and the believability that I need to convince you to want to spend the rest of your life with me. That I am worthy of such a commitment from you. -_

Shutting her father out after her mother's dead. Alcohol. Drugs. Staying with a certain possessive ass named Jake for far too long. Sleeping with a complete stranger hardly two hours after she met him. Finding out that stranger is actually your cousin's boyfriend, _Lucas_, but continue to sleep with him and so not only betray Brooke, but also her boyfriend. Leave Lucas as soon as he didn't quite react the way she had wanted to. Ignore the contact he tried to make with her. Get together with him only to dump him when she was going through one of the rougher patches in her life. Finally, leave with a horny professor to Paris.

Mistakes. Peyton Sawyer's area of expertise.

At least she had repeated one of them with more finesse, right? She could've easily gone back to drugs after her father's dead, but she hadn't. Off course, instead she had got rid of what might very well be the love of her life. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and their relationship had been perfect until she fell into old Peyton Sawyer-mode after her father died. Lucas had been sweet, she a bitch; he had tried to understand, she pushed away; he had given all to make things work, she broke up with him. On many levels, Lucas was a better person than her, she knew.

So why would she deserve a second chance with him? The simple answer was: she doesn't. Yet she tried because how presumptuous it may sounds, she knew he loved her more than anything. If he could care less, she would've probably already given up. But he did. Ever since she came back from Paris, Rachel told her, he has been completely distracted and a tad nervous. She figured that was because of the hundreds of text messages she didn't get an answer on or those two times she waited for him, once at Food Lion and once at his college. Both times he had rushed past her like the Big Bad Wolf was chasing him.

In her desperateness, Peyton had not only asked Rachel and Brooke, but even asked Lucas' younger brother for advice. However, all they ever said was: "He loves you, but you have to give it time. You hurt him."

She had accepted his apparent want for time but now one month and twenty days was a long enough wait in her opinion. The more weeks passed, the more girls Lucas would pick up and sleep with, which understandably drove her crazy with jealousy. She _hated_ he kept doing this but off course she couldn't forbid him. Personally, she couldn't ever imagine sleeping with someone right now while she was still so in love with somebody, but that was probably the difference between men and women, right?

Anyway, today –she had decided- was going to be a turning point. Today was Lucas birthday. She'd buy him a gift, and give it to him personally. Surely he couldn't ignore her then. With a smile at August the shop owner, she placed a copy of Jane Austen's _Sense and Sensibility_ on the counter.

_"Why are you so good to me?" she asked while drying her eyes._

_"Because I love you."_

_"That's impossible. We've known each other a week."_

_"It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy, it is disposition alone."_

She hoped he'd remember.

x

Nathan's jaw dropped when he opened the door and saw his favorite uncle stand in the opening. Cooper. The 'bad boy' of the family Lee but by far the most entertaining member. Playful, charismatic, and a real charmer –towards girls off course.

"Cooper!" he shouted out and embraced him short but firmly. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," he nodded. "How are you, though?"

"What do you mean?"

"I heard you and Haley separated. What happened?"

"Different…" Nathan shortly thought. "…visions on life."

"I'm sorry."

Nathan sadly smiled before saying: "But I've moved on…I've found someone new, I'm sure you'd like her. Her name is Rachel and she's this amazing girl. Not completely sane, but whoever said that was a girlfriend requirement, right?"

"Is she hot?"

"Cooper…"

"Sorry." He paused a couple of seconds. "Well, is she?"

Nathan sighed and slightly rolled his eyes. "That's none of your business," he replied a tad defensive. Even though it wasn't how it should be, Nathan always considered his girlfriends as his property and with Rachel that was no different. She was _hi_s and only _he_ could see or talk about her in the 'hot' way. However, he wasn't as naïve as to think that was actually the case but still, he'd like to believe that.

"Anyway, what are you doing here?" he changed the subject. "I haven't seen you for over a year and then you suddenly appear here on my doorstep, in New York. Don't get me wrong, it's great to see you but this is so…sudden."

"Ah….ummm…Just visiting my nephew," he answered. "And I still had a shitload of holiday left so I thought, why not visit the next big NBA star?

"Oh…Well, doesn't matter, really. I'm glad to have, and I'm sure Lucas will be too," Nathan replied. "I guess you'll be staying here?" He let Cooper enter and then closed the door.

"If that isn't too much of a problem."

"Off course not."

Two hours later, a bunch of Playstation games were piled up next to the two. After another loss, Nathan rose from the couch disgruntled, announced he had enough, and went to take a shower. Cooper switched channels until he stumbled upon some National Geographic documentary about mummies. He had always liked mummies. Just when the geologists were inside the tomb of the Toetanchamon, the door squeaked open. Cooper looked over his shoulder and saw the second Scott brother walk in, dressed in some ugly uniform.

"You look ridiculous."

Lucas almost jumped up against the ceiling hearing Cooper's voice out of nowhere. Calming down, he saw his step-uncle, if you can call it that, laying in their couch watching some mummy show. He didn't know why or since when he was here but he didn't mind at all. Having Cooper around meant fun and that's something he had had in a couple of months.

"And you look quite good…" Lucas replied. "…For a gorilla that is…"

Cooper laughed and stood up. He and Lucas shared a brief embrace before pulling back.

"How are you?" they simultaneously asked each other.

"Ask Nate," Cooper answered. "I just told him. So that leaves you."

"I'm great." He gave a cursory nod as it to confirm and nervously smiled.

Obviously, he hadn't been. It was quite hard to shot down all the girl of your dreams' attempts to make up because you're too frightened to get hurt. All he really wanted was to say 'alright, I forgive you' and kiss her but the little warning voice in his head stopped him. Why? Because it knew. Peyton broke his heart. He had completely opened up to her in their relationship. He had been vulnerable, he was still vulnerable, and he wasn't willing to get hurt by her again; doesn't matter how much he wanted her.

"Then why do you look constipated?"

"Eh…" Lucas was briefly speechless. "I do not look constipated."

"Well you don't look great either."

Lucas sighed. "If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it."

Cooper saw he was serious and nodded softly. "Sure."

"I'm just going to change now," he then announced before disappearing into his bedroom.

Not long after Nathan came out of the bathroom dressed in a dark-burgundy pyjamas. Cooper looked at him in disbelief. Nathan, feeling his uncle's eyes pierce, asked:

"What?"

"Dude, what's the middle-age outfit about?"

"Middle age?" Nathan asked disdained. "This was a very expensive pyjama… Plus, Rachel bought it for me so if I don't wear it, she'll think I don't like it and then she'll be all _girly_ and _sad_, and I don't know how to handle sad girls very well. So…I wear the pyjamas."

"Wuss."

Just as Nathan was about to throw a comeback his way, the door opened and the cause why he was dressed in pyjamas Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer would wear, bustled through the front door. She took of her coat and grinned widely when she saw Nathan wear her gift. By the look on his face when he had opened the present, she could've sworn he hated it, and she was glad she had been wrong.

"You're wearing the pyjamas I bought you," she shrieked pleased as she walked up to him. She threw one hand around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. "It looks good, doesn't it?" she continued after they broke apart, fumbling the collar. "I-" Suddenly her sentence was cut off by her own screaming.

"Oh, my God," the redhead sighed out placing her hand on her heart. "Who are you?" she asked Cooper. Without waiting for an answer, she turned to her boyfriend. "Nate, why is there a strange man eating Cheetos in our couch?"

"He's my uncle," Nathan answered. "He's visiting New York and I said he could crash here."

"For how long?"

"A week or two…or more."

Speechless, Rachel turned her head at Cooper who shortly waved at her. "Hi, gorgeous."

"Huh…Nate…"

"If you don't mind, off course" Nathan continued softer.

However, the redhead saw in his blue eyes he'd be truly sorry if his uncle wasn't allowed to stay, so she shook her head. "Off course not…BUT…No Cheetos in the couch," she bowed over and snatched the chips out of Cooper's hand. "No flooding the bathroom." She gave Nathan an accusing stare. "And do not use my shampoo for bright, brilliant red hair." Again she pierced her boyfriend with her eyes.

"Deal," Cooper accepted. "And what about smoking?"

Rachel put her hand in her side and kinked her eyebrow.

"No?"

"No."

x

Armed with her gift, Peyton knocked the door of Lucas' apartment. She knew he'd be home today and could only hope he wouldn't slam the door in her face. As she heard footsteps she was almost sure were his, she felt her heartbeat rise. To tell the truth, she had never been this 'chasing' type. Usually,_she_ was the one getting chased so this whole two months had been a completely new experience to her. Trying to get someone who puts up a huge concrete wall around you is painful to say the least, so the fact that she pushed through showed how much she wanted this.

Suddenly the door opened. Lucas' heart skipped a beat and he remained completely speechless. He was startled, though it wasn't like he hadn't seen her after Paris. She had tried to meet him after work and college but this was completely different. Both those times, he had noticed her from a distance and had been prepared. Now she had just popped out of nowhere. It was rainy today so her curls were a bit frizzy, which he couldn't help but think was ridiculously cute. They gazed at each other for a couple of seconds before she said softly:

"Happy birthday, Luke."

She held up the book. Slightly hesitating, he took it from her and slowly ran his finger over the cover. _Sense and Sensibility_. He had quoted it in a very early stage of their relationship, and it meant a lot to him she still remembered. With her big hazel eyes, Peyton looked up at him, waiting for a mere sound to leave his mouth but nothing came.

"I should get going now…" she let out disappointed. She turned around and left him standing there with his eyes still fixed on the book. Only five minutes later Lucas stepped back into his living room where Cooper sat secretly eating Cheetos until Rachel came back.

"Who was that?" he asked.

Lucas didn't answer, plumped himself down in the smaller couch and buried his face in his hands. "Peyton…" It didn't take a genius to see he had a complicated history with this person, and that she had a heavy effect on him.

"Please tell me that's not a dude."

"No, not Peyton as in Peyton Manning but Peyton as in Peyton Sawyer, my…" he stopped. "My I-don't-know…"

"Ex?"

He looked up sadly and nodded.

"How come?"

"Long story. Doesn't matter now. I'm…I'm over her now," he said and almost couldn't believe he was able to utter such big a lie.

x

After he had gotten Peyton's gift, Lucas had immediately gone to see Haley, where he also couldn't keep his eyes off the book; off the words she had underlined in it. It brought back some beautiful memories of stolen moments. "What should I do, Hales? I can't take her back, you know." His resistance had cracked slightly. Peyton was trying so hard and although he never felt he had to reward her because of that by getting back together or what not, he was touched.

She sighed. "I know but…Look; I haven't always supported your relationship with her, but …You aren't yourself without her. I get the feeling that…That you can't live without her."

"But I can't live _with_ her either. Not anymore."

"Well, Bono, what about something in between?"

"Like what?"

"Like friends…"

As he allowed the think of her in warmer ways, though, he couldn't keep memories from flashing in front of his eyes. How would he ever be able to see her as a friend? They had never been friends, always lovers. From the moment they met. Sure, they had built up a friendship during their relationship but that wasn't the same. Their friendship had evolved through him playing with her curls after making love as he told her about his life and for example, the day they went to Six Flags' swimming pool, where you normally go on the slides or do a similar activity, they had end up making out on the side. They had been physically very attracted to each other from the bat.

"Friends?" he let out uncertain.

Haley shrugged her shoulders upon which Lucas sighed deeply. It had taken him four months to function properly again after their break-up and he was scared like hell to go through something like that a second time, but he needed her in his life, which was simply unbearable without her. So despite doubts, friendship was the only solution. It wouldn't be easy but he just couldn't miss her. Being friends was a way to talk to her and look at her and know she can't hurt you.

x

"P. Sawyer, open up!"

A heavy pounding accompanied Brooke's excited voice.

"Coming!"

She swung the door open and was immediately pulled in a big hug. Brooke further began to jump while screaming hysterically into Peyton's ear. The blonde laughed at her cousin's outrageous excitement. "Calm down, Brooke…Just tell me what's up so I can squeal along."

The brunette waved her hand in the air, revealing a ring with a huge light-pink diamond. "He asked me to marry him!" she shrieked. "Owen asked me to marry him! I'M GETTING MARRIED!"

Peyton first gasped and put her hands in front of her mouth but as Brooke again began to jump up and down while releasing high-pitched sounds; she joined her in the hysteria. "I'm so happy for you," the curly blonde then smiled and gave her another, calmer hug. "So when are you planning to, you know, _do_ so?"

"In two months."

"Two months?!? I was thinking more like…Two _years_."

"Why would we wait so long?" she asked slightly non-understanding. "I've never felt like this before…and so hasn't he. It's right. We're right." Brooke smiled and threw another loving look at her ring. "The wedding will be in Scotland," she beamed. "Where he grew up…."

Peyton was speechless for a second. " Scotland, but…That's_Europe_."

"I'm well aware."

"So…?"

"The guest will be flown in. All of them, which will probably be around a hundred."

"Brooke, that's crazy. It'll cost a fortune, and where would they all stay?"

"Well, we'll get married in a castle s­-"

"A _castle_?"

"Yes, and the closest family and friends can stay there. It has about forty rooms anyway."

"Brooke…" she tried to comprehend this. "This will cost you half a million. _Minimum_."

The brunette again raised her hand. "He's filthy rich, Peyton…Not why I love him," she assured her cousin. "…But filthy rich. Look, I never told you this, but he doesn't only work at Ralph Lauren. Well, he does but…The castle I was talking about…It's _his_. Ever heard of _Hirson Food products_?"

"No."

"Doesn't matter. What does is that it's a multi-billion company and that he inherited it from his parents three years ago."

"H-"

"They passed when he was eighteen in a boat accident."

"Oh…"

"Look, P…I know that you're worried about the costs but all I want to say is that you shouldn't be. Truly, he's got the money."

Still a tad sceptic, she gazed at Brooke until a knock on the door interrupted their moment. Peyton walked away and opened it. This time it was her turn to be completely surprised as she saw Lucas standing in front of her.

"Lucas…"

"Can I come in?" he asked.

She nodded and held the door open for him before closing it. Lucas followed her into her living where Brooke was still staring at her diamond as if it was the world's eighth wonder. Peyton cleared her throat.

"Brooke…" she then called her after not receiving her attention.

"Hmmmm?" When the brunette looked up, her eyes widened. "Oh, I'm sorry…I'll just…go hide in the bedroom for a while…"

"Yeah…"

After her cousin had disappeared, Peyton turned around and gazed at Lucas hopeful. This was truly a breakthrough. Two months of some major begging had finally paid off.

"I'd like to thank you for the book…"

"Huh…You're welcome."

They shared a look so long it was broken apart by awkwardness. "You want some coffee?" Peyton finally asked uncomfortably.

Ten minutes later they were both sipping their coffee in silence until Lucas found the courage to speak up. "You…_hurt_ me."

Peyton looked up with sad eyes at once. "Luke…" her voice was on the verge of breaking. "I didn't mean to…I-"

"No, stop," he ordered. "I don't want you to explain, I want you to listen. Don't you see? You can never understand how I feel. You weren't the one who was numb for months, you aren't the one who was left behind, I was; and I need you to understand I can't go there again with you. I can't put myself in a vulnerable position once again only to be ripped to shreds…"

She bowed her head. "I know I don't deserve you, Luke. Really, I do, a-"

"But I miss you," he cut her off.

She bit her lip, furrowed her eyebrow slightly confused and held her reply for a second. "I miss you too..." she then confessed. Although there wasn't much to confess since she had made that very clear to him ever since her return from Paris.

"So…And trust me, I've put a lot of thought in this…maybe we could be…_friends_?"

The regretful look in her hazel eyes changed to an unbelieving one as she kinked her eyebrow. "_Friends?_" she asked and gazed at him as if he has just grown a second head. "Are you serious? We've never been friends…"

"We could be now…"

She went silent and thought. "I can't be just friends with you…" she then softly confessed, rose from her seat and took place next to him. His breath staggered in his throat as she cupped his cheek and forced him to look in her eyes. Softly she let her fingers flutter over his skin. He froze. This was what he had been afraid for. He closed his eyes as he felt her head near. Her lips were almost touching his as she said:

"I want it all, Lucas; I want everything with you…"

It took him all the will-power in the world in that moment to grasp her hand. Softly, he shook his head. "I can't, Peyt, and I just told you why. It's…It's friends or nothing," he then tried to sound as firm as possible. He stood up from the couch and threw his coat on in a dazzling tempo.

"Lucas!" she called him in a pleading voice.

"I…I…Rachel insisted we'd go out to dinner for my birthday tonight at the Bay Leaf at eight. You can come but only if-"

"I agree to be just friends…" she finished a tad bitterly.

He nodded before quickly leaving her apartment. Not even ten seconds later, Brooke hopped out of the bedroom; still looking as giddy as ever.

"Have you been listening?"

The brunette answered with a busted stare.

"Brooke!" Peyton cried out in disbelief. "This was the first real conversation I had with him in months, a_private_ one, and you eavesdropped at the door? What is this? The Bold & the Beautiful?"

"Your words, not mine."

"Huh…"

"P. Sawyer, you have to become friends with Broody," she advised. "It'll be much less awkward when you're sleeping in the same hallway in Scotland."

"We're staying in a castle so isn't there a wing? There are probably twenty bedrooms there or something."

"Ugh, whatever. Just do what I say."

"_What_?"

"It'd be for the best…You heard it from the guy himself: friends or nothing. And well, let's say the second option is _very_ little. At least now you can still be a part of his life."

"You don't understand, Brooke. It'll be torture. I…I want him. _All_ of him."

"All in time, P. Sawyer…"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't truly believe he won't cave, right?"

"Honestly? I don't know what to think anymore."

x

"Stop biting your nails, Luke," Rachel ordered and gazed at him severely from over her menu. The restaurant she had booked was classy, and mostly ruled by pastel colours like salmon-pink. A long white candle stood in the middle of their perfectly set table. "What are you so nervous about anyway? If she comes, she comes; if she doesn't, she doesn't and then it's all your fault. From what she told me you were pretty harsh. You know ultimatums are not the way to go…"

"One, I'm not nervous," he answered and took the menu for the twentieth time. "Just hungry, and two, mind your own business."

Cooper chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Nathan asked.

"Nothing. I'm curious to see what it is about this Peyton girl that gets Luke all worked up."

"If she comes," Rachel pointed out.

"Rach, please…." Nathan softened his voice and shuffled a bit closer to his girlfriend. "You know how sensitive he is about Peyton."

"This is ridiculous…He loves her, she loves him. Can't he just take her back?"

"Apparently not, so you should but out."

She puffed indignant. "Y-"

"Shush," Nathan ordered and pointed his finger across the room.

He was visibly relieved Peyton had decided to come. Another three months of depressed Lucas he hadn't been able to handle. When his relief faded away, he noticed how beautiful she looked. Except for that one evening at the beach, he hadn't really seen her in that light but now it was hard not to. Her hair was up in a messy yet elegant ponytail and she had a little green dress on that emphasized her slender body and brought out her bright eyes.

"Nate!" Rachel suddenly hissed. "Close your mouth for God's sakes." She shifted her stare to Cooper, who seemed equally enthralled, and rolled her eyes. _Men_.

"Now I get it," Cooper mumbled to Lucas, who threw him an annoyed stare.

Upon Rachel's order, Nathan immediately yanked his head away, just in time to miss Peyton's faint smile. She had spent three successive hours in the bathroom making sure she looked flawless and judging from Nathan and that strange guy's faces, that was the case. She walked up to their table and did her 'kiss-round'.

"Hi, I'm Cooper," he greeted when she reached him. "Nathan's uncle."

"Peyton," she replied. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

When she moved further, Cooper bit his bottom lip at Nathan, who threw him a warning stare. This wasn't one of the many girls he could pursue; this one was his brother's, even though he kept pushing her away right now.

Kissing Lucas one the cheek, Peyton made sure the moment would last long enough for him to smell her perfume- his favourite one for her- and put her hand behind his neck, an action unnecessary. It was enough for him to close his eyes and savour the moment, yet unwillingly. As she pulled back, she locked her twinkling hazels with his nervous blues and softly said:

"Hi."

Rachel bowed her head and smiled. She had once been the master at this. Seducing. Lucas remained sitting completely frozen on his chair. His eyes widened when Rachel moved one place away from him and so allowed Peyton to sit next to him. He couldn't prove it, but he knew Peyton wasn't planning on staying just friends, although he had explained her why he wanted to be just that.

Soon the waiter came to take their orders and when he had, they finally engaged in a conversation, although Lucas didn't say all that much. Although Peyton did babble along, she kept a good eye on her target and observed his reactions to what she did. Usually he just bowed his head or looked away. Suddenly her hawk-eye noticed something: an eye-lash, on his cheek. _Perfect_.

"Luke…"

Lucas, who had been one piece of nervousness ever since she had walked in, turned his head at her without actually looking into her eyes. "W-What is it?"

"You've got a lash on your cheek."

She let her hand rise up to his face but he backed away.

"Where is it?" he asked with a slightly desperate undertone in his voice and began to rub his cheeks. "Gone?" She couldn't touch him, even not physically. Everything about her brought back what he had been through and it hurt. It hurt to look back and at the same time he was scared to look ahead. What could a future with her mean now? More pain? She had to keep her distance, and that's that.

"No…" Peyton again tried to move her hand his cheek's way but he continued making acrobatic moves with his head. "Luke!" she let out. "Just let me do it…I won't bite." She cupped his cheek shortly and then softly took the lash between her thumb and index finger. She noticed him running his eyes over her face and could've even sworn he was starting to breathe faster. "Got it," she then quietly announced and stared into his terrified eyes. It almost made her sigh. How could he be so scared to let her near?

Lucas looked away, tugged his collar swiftly and then jumped up and announced he was going to the bathroom. He had hardly left his chair or the whole table began to either giggle or chuckle.

"Two weeks," Rachel estimated.

"Two weeks? More like two days," Cooper laughed. "He's crazy about you…"

"You guys are too optimistic," Nathan protested. "No offence, Peyton, but he's my brother, I know him, and I know he can be persistent in these kinds of things."

"Nate!"

"It's true; he's just not such a forgiving person. I remember when I accidentally told a secret of his' to Tim. He didn't speak to me for over a month. And this situation here…Well let's say it's a couple levels worse."

"I know…" Peyton nodded. "And that's why I need your help."

"How so?" Rachel asked.

"Alright…"

She began her explanation and ordered everyone to be quiet at once when she saw Lucas coming back. In the meanwhile, their dinner had already arrived and logically, they had begun to eat. The conversation they were having went about parents over to TV, over to everyone's love life. Except for Lucas and Peyton's, 'cause that was a sore subject for obvious reasons. Finally they reached Peyton's wanted subject.

"There's a biopic about Bob Dylan out," Rachel announced. "With Heath Ledger and Cate Blanchett."

"Yeah, I heard about it," Nathan answered. "We should go, it sounds good."

"What's it called?" Cooper asked.

"I'm Not There."

"Would you like to come too?"

"Sure."

"What about you, Luke?"

"Why not."

"Peyton?"

Lucas mentally kicked himself for not thinking about that. She'd off course say 'yes' and do her little tricks. But then in the dark, which was even more dangerous. However, the worst thing was that he couldn't resist it. She knew his weak spots, something that been emphasized during this dinner. Changing the position of her legs at least twenty times, fumbling her hair and so show that spot in her neck he loved to kiss or the way she had put her hand in his neck when she greeted him, and kissed him ever so softly, long enough so he could inhale her sweet scent.

All of this made him unquiet already, and the cinema was still at least a couple of days away. Well, then he must make sure he wouldn't sit next to her, right?

"Yes."

x

Pouting, Peyton gazed over Nathan's head, at Lucas who had practically run to the very end of this line while dragging his brother along and hissing something in his ear. She gazed sadly to her other side where Cooper sat and sighed. This hadn't gone according to plan. Cooper threw a look at at the hopeless girl next to him and couldn't help but feel for her.

"Look," he began. "I could help you."

She looked up in his eyes. "How?"

"I can help make him jealous."

"No…" She shook her head with displeased face.

"Why not? I'm not all that bad-looking, if I say so myself."

"It's not that…It's just, I don't want to play games with him."

"Fair enough." He paused a second and then said: "What do you have in mind then? To get him back?"

"I…I don't know yet."

"Hmmm…It's just that…Your current strategy isn't really working, is it?"

"And yours would?"

"Well…_duh_. What do you got in that pretty little head of yours? Oatmeal?" Peyton kinked her eyebrow. "Trust me," Cooper continued. "Speaking from a guy's point of view, if another guy is touching your girl, even is she isn't really anymore or if there's a _painful history_, it makes your blood boil."

Peyton stared doubtful in front of her.

"So what do you say, Curly?"

"Alright," she sighed after a couple of seconds. "But no groping!"

About half an hour into the film, Lucas looked to his right and immediately narrowed his eyes when he saw Cooper's arm laying on the lean of Peyton's seat. The longer he looked, the more it shuffled further until it lay on her shoulder. _Betraya_l! How could he? Sure, Cooper was a womanizer but _Peyton_?

"I don't feel comfortable," Peyton whispered to Cooper.

"Shhh…He's staring."

"Really?"

"Don't!" he ordered before she could turn her head.

"So how does he look?" she asked excited.

"Like he wants to spike my head."

"This is great!"

"Easy there, don't get too excited, this is only the beginning."

"Alright, alright," she replied with a soft smile. Suddenly her gladness was interrupted by a lady in front of them who ordered her to be quiet. "Sorry," Peyton apologized before looking up at Cooper one last time and grinning widely.

"Nate…" Lucas in the meanwhile hissed.

"What is it?" his younger brother asked.

"Cooper."

Nathan turned his head at his uncle and sighed. "Oh, no…"

"I can't believe this."

"What do you want _me_ to do about it? Technically there's nothing either of us can do. You rejected her, Luke."

Speechless, Lucas turned his head at the screen. What was that supposed to mean? Was he to see how Cooper and Peyton would have a fling now? Right under his very eyes? A couple moments later, he was once again staring at the two and fell the urge to yell: 'Don't touch her!' However, he said nothing, but tried to push his frustration and jealousy away.

After the movies, they dropped by a nearby ice salon, where they talked about the film and the genius that is Bob Dylan. Well, that last one was mostly Peyton. That is, until she decided she wanted the old jukebox in the corner to play another song. With a few coins in her hand, she rose from her chair.

"Cooper, do you want to come?"

Lucas looked up in irritated disbelief, as Nathan shook his head at his uncle. Rachel just ate her ice cream.

"Sure."

Standing at the jukebox, Peyton asked:

"So why are you helping me?"

"Ah…" he smiled. "You can't be fooled, can you?"

"No."

"OK," Cooper sighed. "The reason I left Tree Hill wasn't because I have a lot of holiday left –well, it is, but there's more. I…was, you know… _in love_, with a girl, an amazing girl, and we were really good together, but ummm…About two months ago, we broke up."

"What happened?"

"I acted like an asshole."

"What did you do?"

"I…I cheated on her. It didn't mean anything, but I did."

"Asshole."

He nodded visibly full of sorrow.

"So why aren't you fighting for her?"

"She has someone else now…already. And I did fight for her but then one day I saw her walking down the street with her new boyfriend, and she seemed happy. In that moment, I realized I had to leave her alone. She was happy with someone else –slash- we were over."

"I'm sorry."

"And that's why I'm helping you now. I know how it feels to lose someone you thought you'd spent your whole life with."

She gave a small nod of appreciation. "Thank you."

They went back to the table with David Bowie now sounding in the background. As soon as Cooper took a seat, Nathan stood up. "Cooper, I have to go to the bathroom."

"Huh…That's good to know."

"I want you to come with me."

"Why?"

"Just come with me," he ordered and marched to the men's room.

Cooper followed puzzled and locked eyes with an equally confused Peyton. "I thought only girls did that," the blond said.

It didn't take long before Nathan and Cooper came back. Nathan sat himself down, completely calm now, and whispered in Rachel's ear what exactly was going on, and added that they mustn't tell Lucas under any circumstances. Looking at her blond roommate, she knew now already that was going to be really hard. He looked so frustrated, clueless and confused. Simply said: she didn't approve but as long as Lucas wouldn't act upon it, her lips were sealed.

x

The next day, Peyton climbed up the stairs of Brooke's apartment with her mind set on an afternoon of shopping. Her smile vanished at once when the door opened to reveal a crying Brooke. Where was her ridiculously happy attitude?

"What's wrong?" she asked concerned.

"Sam…" she let out sniffling as Peyton led her to the couch, where they went to sit down.

"Who's Sam?"

"My cousin…You see, he was supposed to be one of the groomsmen, actually he was supposed to walk with _you_ down the aisle, but he lives in Montana and you know, it freezes there often and he was stupid enough to run to his car instead of to _walk_ like any normal person…And guess what happened? He broke his leg. The dumbass broke his leg!"

"Well…That isn't such a big a deal…" Peyton reasoned. "Surely you know someone to replace him with?"

"Like who, Peyton? He's the only cousin I have; and I don't have any guy friends besides Nathan and Lucas and they're already reserved for Ashley and Haley." A desperate sigh left her lips. "Don't you know someone?"

"Huh…I don't know…"

"Yes, you do…" The brunette narrowed her eyes to suspicious splits. "Who do you have in mind?"

"Ummm… _Cooper_?"

"Cooper?"

"Yes, that's Nathan's uncle and he staying with th-"

"What? Stop. Rewind. Are you saying Hot Uncle Cooper is staying at Nathan's and that you kept this important information from me?"

"You know him?"

Brooke shook her head in complete disbelief. "I've had a crush on him since…_Forever_."

"Woops…I'm sorry, I didn't know you knew him."

"You're forgiven."

"So soon?" she asked jokingly.

"Yes, there's no time to waste, we must go invite him at once."

Brooke hurried to the door like a woman possessed. When Peyton didn't immediately follow, she rolled her deep-green eyes, turned around, tipped back and grabbed her arm. "P. Sawyer, we don't have all day!"

Once arrived, Peyton's idea was received reluctantly with Cooper at first but after twenty minutes of nagging and reassuring that everything would be alright concerning clothing from Brooke's part, he gave in. In her excitement, the soon-to-be Mrs. Owen Hirson obviously didn't notice the lightening stare her ex shot her and her newly found groomsman. What do people say again?

'Better an ounce of luck than a pound of gold.'

In Lucas case, he had neither. He only had an ex he couldn't seem to let go, a step-uncle hitting on her and family and friends who seemed to not care about all of this one bit. Although he himself had had enough one-night stands these past months, the thought of Peyton having merely _one_ infuriated him. Add that the possibility it might be with Cooper of all people, and it was enough to drive him to insanity. For this reason, Lucas had wanted his step-uncle to be gone as soon as possible, but no…Now he was _also_ coming to Scotland,_and_ he was going to walk with Peyton down the aisle.

Misery, much?

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I hoped this made up for the long wait. :) Anyway, there must be something to comment about, good or bad, since it was quite lengthy so tell me what you think!


	16. Sprung in Completeness

**A/N**: I'm SO sorry guys for not updating for so long. It was a combination of exams and no inspiration. I hope you are still interested in reading this story and that you haven't given up on it or something. Like always, I want to express my unbounded love for the reviewers. You guys are amazing and like other writers often mention, it does really give you the courage to keep writing even if you got a serious writer's block on your hands. Anyway, enjoy this next chapter!

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16. Sprung in Completeness 

Lots of deep sighs, green thread and Brooke Davis had been dominating this sunny November afternoon for four hours now, much to Peyton's dismay. Every time she thought the torture would be over, there the tailor came, accompanied by her hyperkinetic cousin and a bunch of needles. The blond looked down at her dress and frowned with a desperate expression. There was…too much green, too much tulle and too much of the feeling that she was a porcelain doll. Had she truly been so wrong to think Brooke Davis had style?

All that was missing on this horrific outfit was a bow. Just as that thought begun to roam her mind, she saw Brooke hopping towards her with a long satin ribbon. "What…Is…That?" Peyton asked with wide, non-believing eyes.

"A ribbon!" she exclaimed the obvious. "I'm going to tie it around your waist to see what it gives."

"No."

"But P…It's MY wedding day…Don't you want it to be perfect?"

"Sure I do…But THAT," she pointed at the red satin. "…isn't perfection. Brooke, I'll look like a Christmas tree."

"Well, that's kind of the idea, Einstein."

"What?"

"Well, I'm marrying on Christmas day so…"

Peyton gazed into Brooke's eyes long, trying to find out if she was joking or not. When she saw the brunette was dead-serious, she let out a sigh and held up her arms. "Fine…Ribbon me up." Brooke squealed upon this and immediately began decorating her cousin.

As Peyton let Brooke do her thing, she noticed Lucas and Cooper in the other room being measured up the same way she had been a couple hours ago. Two weeks ago, she had dropped her scheming with Cooper. Why? Well, Lucas was so determined to not let her in again that when it came down to it, the effort was for nothing. It hurt him and _her_ too, so this was the wisest thing, she had decided. Besides, she had the feeling Rachel had opened her big mouth and told Lucas about what was going on anyway. She didn't hold it against the redhead, though. She had only done what she thought was best.

However, there had come something positive of all of this: she and Cooper had become friends. In her free time they'd often go lunching together and whenever they hung out with the group, she felt herself automatically going to sit with him to talk and joke around. Plus, a blind man could see Cooper is a handsome man and so also Peyton, who had found herself increasingly attracted to him. He was by no means Lucas, but she had a good time with him and he made her laugh.

"So how are things with broody?" Brooke tore her out of her dream world.

Peyton held her silence for a couple of seconds. "We're friends…I guess…"

Brooke sighed and laid her hand on her cousin's shoulder sympathetically. She had noticed he kept pushing her away and was now actually moving on, or so it seemed. "I'm sorry, Peyton."

The blonde nodded. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be right?" She ripped her eyes away from Lucas. "I love him, Brooke," she gazed down at her cousin. "But if he's moving on, maybe I should too. I mean, I have the right to be happy, right? Don't I deserve that?"_Maybe_, she thought, _Cooper could help me with that_.

Brooke smiled. "Off course. It's all I wish for you." _But I still think that requires Lucas_, the brunette mentally added. "Now turn around, missy," she then firmly ordered. "I need to tie you up." Biting her bottom lip, Brooke made the most beautiful bow she could before she let go and stared at it with a pleased expression on her face.

Peyton turned around and locked eyes with her cousin. She didn't know if she should say out loud that she was thinking about Cooper as some kind of rebound. It wouldn't be mean or cruel since she knew he wasn't completely over his girlfriend yet. She didn't mind being the means for him to be freed of his pain either.

Hardly a second later, the two girls heard a sneering laughter echoing through the room. "Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree…" followed in shrill tones. Peyton and Brooke snapped their heads the sounds way and saw Cooper, who seemed very amused by the sight of a green-red Peyton. The truth is that he thought she looked exceptionally beautiful, something he had thought more than once lately. Under normal circumstances, he would've begun dating her already, she'd be one of his flirts, but he realized he couldn't do that now: he was supposed to be a helping factor in her strained relationship with Lucas, not a stumbling block. This feeling was beginning to fade a bit though, since Lucas didn't seem like he'd ever want to get back together with Peyton.

"Shut up!" the blonde ordered as she curled her hands in the layers of her dress. "It is bad enough as it is without you mock-"

"Oh, before I forget it," Brooke cut her cousin off and walked to the cushioned bench behind her, where a caned basket stood. She bowed over and brought out two red and one green bow-tie. "This is for you," she announced and gave Cooper the green one. "The two others are for Lucas and Nathan, so you have to stand in the middle."

Peyton let out an evil cackle and stuck out her tongue. "That's what they call karma."

"Whatever, spruce…" he mumbled.

"Hey…" she began carefully. "You know tonight it's Rauwolf's second anniversary?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd…come with me."

"Weren't you going with that Brad guy?" Since Peyton had complained to Katherine about how she didn't have a date for the anniversary party, she had suggested Peyton would go with her brother. He was a nice guy and okay-looking so the blond had agreed.

"He's sick."

He nodded. "Alright then…"

She smiled. "Great!"

x

Hearing a knock on the door, Lucas exited his room. Although she would be about an hour and a half early, he expected to see Elsa standing in the door opening. She was a girl he had met in a club a couple of weeks ago and kind of reminded him of Brooke. Light and funny but nothing serious. They had dated a couple of times now and he got the impression she was really into him. Yet these dates were merely an attempt to forget about Peyton and their relationship once and for all. However, opening the door he felt like he was hit in the head with a sledgehammer. In front of him stood Peyton in a festive black dress; all leg and curls.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" he asked dumbfounded. Right in that moment, Cooper entered the living room in simple dark jeans and navy-blue shirt. "Oh…" Lucas let out. "I see." He turned around and began walking back to his room.

"Lucas…"

"Man…"

Cooper and Peyton began at the same time.

"No, it's alright," he first addressed Cooper. "Do what you want. I'm over her." He paused and now shifted his attention to Peyton. "I'm over you."

Peyton frowned sadly and felt her heart break a little more. She hadn't thought Lucas would be home; his shift at work often fell on Saturday evening so this was quite an unwanted surprise to her too. However, her sadness quickly took place for anger she had held in too long. "You know what? I am too!" she suddenly spoke with loud voice. Lucas' eyes widened a bit. "I'm so sick of you acting like I'm the big bad wolf and you're an innocent lamb!" his ex spat at him furiously.

"How dare you yell at me?!?" he screamed back. "You know….You knew and still you went out and tried to make me jealous. How selfish can you be?"

"ME?!? You've slept with half Manhattan, you…Whore!!!"

"I'm not a whore!!!"

"Yes, you are! Even if you'd beg me to come back to you, I still wouldn't!!! Who knows how many STD's you have at this point!!!'

"Shut. UP!!!"

"I'm out of here," Cooper mumbled and quickly hurried away. He liked Peyton and the idea of having a flirt with her but this wasn't in his planning. A relieved sigh left his lips as he closed the door behind him. Nathan had warned him a while ago that standing between Lucas and Peyton wasn't any fun and that was just what he was discovering right now.

"This is all your fault!!!" Lucas continued, hardly taking notice to Cooper leaving. He took a few steps forward and pointed his index finger at Peyton. "YOU broke up with ME. I helped you but you pushed me away! I loved you but you didn't care!!!"

"Off course I cared!!! But I was a MESS! I wasn't me!"

"Well, I'm STILL not me now, because of you."

"I though you were over me," she bitterly referred to what he said earlier and turned her head away from him. She looked up surprised when she felt his hands gripping her by her upper arms. She could read off his face how heavily he was struggling with his emotions.

"You know I'm not…" he softly spoke. "I…I can't stand to see you with another guy and I'll never will." Lucas sighed and bowed his head. He had now basically admitted she was the only one he could ever love as much as he had done, did and would ever do but strangely enough, it didn't scare him. Perhaps that was because he was tired of fighting against what his heart told him. It sucked the energy out of him.

Peyton cupped his cheek and ordered him to look at her just by touching his face. She stared intensely into his blue eyes and felt relieved to see a glimpse the old Lucas back in those. Without hesitation, pulled him into a searing kiss. Almost immediately she felt him deepen it and pull her closer to his body. Both were out of breath when they broke apart; their lips hot and tingling. When he was about to capture them again, she sighed out his name in slight protest.

"What?" he asked. "I don't have any STD's if that's what you're worried about," he said half-jokingly.

"I just want to know if you're…true." She gazed up frowning. "I meant what I said, I want everything with you. If we do this, I need you to know that I expect everything from it. I want to spend my life with you…I have from the moment we met. And I know I can be difficult sometimes but I…I have grown as a person, I really have and I won't ever shut you out again. I love you, Luke."

He stared back in her eyes a couple of moments and then softly smiled. "That's all I ever wanted to hear," he responded. Adoringly, he laid his hand on her cheek and brushed her skin with his thumb. "You're all I ever wanted, Peyt…" He crashed his lips into hers again and groaned when moments later he felt her legs around his waist. How he had missed those. Just as he was about to press her body against the wall, she whispered 'bedroom', as if she knew he wouldn't mind having sex against a wall. They had done so a couple of times during their relationship but seeing the circumstances she really wanted a bed. It somehow represented a fresh start.

Her mouth made a full attack on his neck as he brought her in his room, closing the door behind them with one foot. He threw her on the bed and took off his shirt before he slowly undid the zipper of her dress. She did the rest as she stood up and stepped out of her dress. He closed his eyes aroused beyond belief when she pushed him down on the bed and straddled his lap. It was then he knew how useless and dumb it was sleeping with all those girls. Not one of them had made his body feel during actual sex the way she could by just sitting half-naked on top of him.

A large part of before they were making love had been spent with kissing and caressing each other, with stolen glances, sweet whispers and nose brushes. When they had finally begun moving as one, neither of them spoke a word. They closed there eyes, completely absorbed in the moment and only opened them to stare into each others eyes before they'd let their lips meet in a passionate kiss. In this moment, they forget all the blames and pain.

Maybe they should remember, but why? Even if they had known what trouble would wash over their relationship, they still would've started it. If not willingly, fate would've as it had done in the first place, because they were born for each other and loved each other before they had even met. _That_ feeling had been that sense of emptiness, they know realized. Panting, Peyton rolled off Lucas who didn't need too much time to recuperate. He pulled her body against his and kissed the side of her head.

"I l-"

The moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, which made Peyton's head immediately shoot up. She gazed down at Lucas who scowled confused. She, however, quickly remembered he –according to what Rachel had mentioned- had a date and stood up from the bed, quickly throwing Lucas' shirt and shorts on. You can never be too clear, right? Putting two and two together, Lucas also rose from the mattress but not with the intention to face Elsa. He'd let Peyton do that dirty job, how unmanly that may sound.

She opened the door and smiled sweetly at the raven-haired girl standing in the door opening.

"Who…Who are you?" Elsa asked after a couple of moments of complete surprise. Over Peyton's shoulder, she saw the half of Lucas head peeking from behind some wall. Looking further down, she saw…a lot of white fabric. A sheet, she immediately understood. "YOU!" she yelled at Lucas while waving her finger at him hysterically. "ARE A WHORE!"

Smiling, Peyton closed the door and walked up to him, raising two fingers. "That's two, babe."

"I guess I deserve it," he sighed.

"Awww…But you're my whore now…Again..." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

Lucas moved his lips to her ear. "I've always been your whore," he whispered.

She giggled as his hands began roaming her body again. "You're so romantic," she joked, feeling his fingers run over the boxers she had claimed. Sure, they had a lot to still talk about but it was very clear what Lucas wanted, what _both_ of them wanted at this moment and that was making love as much as they could.

x

It was deep in the night as Peyton gazed at Lucas' back, softly drawing invisible circles on it. If she had known some yelling would've gotten them back together, she would've screamed his head off months ago. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around is torso and began to drop soft kisses in his neck. It didn't take long before her breath and loving touch awoke Lucas, yet he didn't immediately let her know and just savored the moment.

"I love you," Peyton finally sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I love you too," he responded and turned his body. He went to lean on his arm so that he could look down at her. Her eyes sparkled with delight as he let his fingers run through her hair and gazed down at her with pure love.

"Peyton, I want you to know those girls didn't mean anything," he then said. "I was just… trying to get over you, I guess."

She nodded.

"What about you? Did you… like Cooper?" he then asked.

She sighed but honestly answered. "Yeah, kinda…But he means nothing compared you, alright? I thought he was a nice guy…And hot, but that's all."

"You thought he was hot?" he asked displeased.

Peyton rolled her eyes at him.

"No more being jealous, right?" Lucas read her mind.

"Right. You know you can trust me."

For a couple of moments, his face shifted in thought. "Did anything happen with Alekseyev, Peyt?"

"Huh…Didn't anyone tell you?"

"About what?"

"He kissed me."

"I-"

"Yes, you were right, Luke, but I pulled away, OK? I pulled away because you were on my mind. He never stood a chance and other guy ever will; I think you know that by now. And you have to understand that when you feel jealous it hurts me. I feel like you don't trust me or my love for you."

He lowered his head and connected their foreheads and noses. "You're gorgeous," he whispered. "And I know how guys are."

"That's sweet…but still, p-"

"Alright," he gave in. "I'll try."

"Good," she replied. "And I'll be open. I'll be the openest girl in the world!"

" 'Openest' isn't a word, babe."

She shook her head with a teasing smile and only seconds later he swooped down to kiss her. In less than five minutes, they were having sex for what must be the fifth time this night and completely oblivious of everything around them.

With a lot of complaints, Brooke, Rachel and Nathan entered the apartment. Brooke was -understandably- bugged by the fact her cousin hadn't shown up at the anniversary party. She hadn't had anyone to talk to there except for Rachel and Nathan, but those two stuck together like a Siamese twin, something she didn't understand since they had been dating for about half a year now. Shouldn't the honeymoon phase be over by now? On top of this all, the brunette had been supposed to spend the night with Peyton. Owen was on a three day business trip and she didn't like being alone in his big house; or her apartment, for that matter, which was also empty most of the time seeing Haley had a new boyfriend.

However, although Nathan and Rachel had each other, they weren't too happy with Peyton's behavior of tonight either. The least thing she could've done was call. A big part of all three of them suspected she and Cooper were doing it somewhere. Brooke had seen how her cousin had gazed at Cooper like a predator does at his prey. It's the way she herself, even though engaged to be married next month, still occasionally gaped at him.

"Is Lucas still here?" Brooke then asked and pointed to the floor where his shoes lay. "I though he was going out with that Bella girl."

"Elsa."

"Elsa, Bella, pot_a_toe, potAtoe."

"Maybe he saw Peyton and Cooper leaving together and was so crushed he wanted to stay," Rachel shrugged. "I'll go check his room."

"I'll come with," Brooke announced.

The two girls marched up to his room with the expectation of seeing him read some book out of the Romanticism: dark and broody with suicidal tendencies. They all knew he was moving on or at least trying to but something like seeing Peyton date Cooper would be a two-steps-back situation. Without even knocking, Rachel swung the door open and gave both herself and Brooke 'the shock of their lives' as Oprah would say it. Instead of seeing a brooding blond, they saw _two_ who were _moaning_ and…_ licking_, everywhere, and going at it like rabbits. Well, maybe the rabbit part is bit exaggerated but still it wasn't what they had expected or wanted to see.

"My eyes!" Rachel screamed dramatically as Brooke clapped her hands and shrieked out 'yay'.

Lucas and Peyton tore apart in complete and utter surprise and disappeared under their sheets as fast as they could. "Go away!" Lucas yelled when his ex and roommate continued staring at them like two sheep at a train.

Rachel turned around and tipped away traumatized but Brooke smiled widely, her dimples deeper than ever. "I just want to say I'm so happy for you guys an-"

"Brooke!" Peyton let out in disbelief.

"Alright, alright. I'll go. You two carry on."

She exited the room and closed the door giddy as ever. However, the two didn't follow her incitement and got dressed. About fifteen minutes later they entered the living room and were welcomed by Brooke throwing her arms around them, a grinning Nathan and a still slightly shocked Rachel.

"So you guys are back together?" Brooke asked excited.

Peyton sighed. "You're the only girl I know who'd cheer two people having…sex _while_ they're having sex."

"But…"

"But yes," Lucas confirmed. "It took me a while to understand but I know now that I can't live without her, no matter how hard I try." Peyton gazed up at him adoringly until he bowed over and kissed her. Brooke smiled endeared, as did Rachel.

"Djeez, man," Nathan sighed out. "I think all those Lifetime movies have gotten to you."

"Nathan!" Rachel snapped.

"But…" the youngest Scott continued. "I'm happy for you too. Just…Weren't you supposed to go out with Cooper tonight?"

"Oh…You've seen him? I think he'll survive," Brooke said. "But who cares, really? They're happy, so that means no awkwardness at my wedding, which makes me happy!"

"Huh…Is she drunk?" Lucas asked over Brooke's shoulder as the brunette hugged them again. Rachel indicated by putting her index finger and thumb almost together that she was, a bit. It wasn't like Brooke had had anything else to do tonight.

Morrie Schwartz once said: 'The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.' It had taken both Lucas and Peyton a long time to realize this simple truth but now that they did, their bond could only grow stronger and better than it was before. They were both ready to make sure that would happen, and that their relationship would last _forever_ this time.

**

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So…Is that a Christmas present or what? I hope you guys are happy with this and I again apologize for the delay. Tell me what you think and…

**MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! **


	17. Kiss Your Life

**Disclaimer**: I don't own OTH or Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.

**A/N**: Thanks a million for the reviews guy, I can't emphasize enough how much they mean for a writer. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter very much. ;)

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17. Kiss Your Life 

_Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. – _Oliver W. Holmes

One by one, the bridesmaids disappeared to the side, opposite their groomsmen, next to the spot where the bride would soon stand. Lots of endeared gasps followed as the four year old flower girl came striding with a basket full of rose petals in her hands. She carefully spread the petals, making slow and elegant movements with her arm, like she was told to do. When her basket was empty, she looked at the groom, who gave her a wink. This made the five-year old blush. She shortly waved at the groom and then let the bridesmaids guide her to her place, where she sat as still as she could.

Together with the light piano tones that the pianist began to play, all heads turned as they knew this was for the bride. And indeed, there she came. Everyone rose for her and admired her beauty, which was enhanced by her stunning cream dress. Her eyes glazed over as she looked at her lover waiting for her merely metres away. The Forrest Gump theme she was walking her way to him on was soft, romantic and soothing. In her hands, she carried a bouquet which looked very much like the bridesmaids' ones, only it was larger and with more roses in between. The true beauty though, was her face, lightly made up with earth-tones and also her hair that - except for a couple lost locks- was up in an elegant bun.

The last steps to the altar were soon taken and the next thing she knew, she was looking into a pair of sparkling and visibly moved eyes. 'You look beautiful', he whispered. She replied with an even quieter 'thank you'. Neither was the overly romantic type but if you had asked them in that moment how they felt, the answer would've probably been 'like in a dream'. The words of the priest who had begun the ceremony by now were almost inaudible to the couple as they were lost in each other completely.

"It is amoral commitment that requires and deserves daily attention. Marriage should be a life long consecration of the ideal of loving kindness – backed with the will to make it last..." the priest finished his sentence and with a glance, let the two know this was their cue.

With a last deep breath, he started.

"Peyt… You're not only my lover, you're my best friend in the _whole_ world and I wouldn't be who I am now without you… For a long time, I was convinced that I was so intelligent, brave, strong but… when you came along, you left me without words and _weak_ in my knees. I realized then, because of you, that what takes _true_ strength is letting someone. Letting someone love me. You…You believed in me when no one else did. You understood me. Totally. Completely, and you still do. You're amazing: your strength, your laughter, your uniqueness…And you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You're everything I wished for and more, so I vow here, before you, before God, to honour, cherish and love you for the rest of my life."

After this, Peyton was briefly speechless. He was a writer and had whispered many hopelessly romantic, heart-warming words in her ear but these were his most touching yet. Seconds passed wherein she just gazed at him with lights in her eyes before she cracked a soft smile and took a small paper. She wasn't as literate as him nor did she often spoke in public, she needed her notes.

_Glad to be home, or at least at Peyton's, Lucas took his coat off and went to look for his girlfriend, who he quickly found standing above the stove. Softly he wrapped his arms around her waist, only to feel her tense up completely. That was before she let out a deep and annoyed sigh. Needless to say he didn't enjoy this one it. For a little over a year now, since they had gotten back together, their life had been bliss but these last weeks, it seemed like history had begun to repeat itself. Peyton was cold and distant towards him but sometimes, she'd come out of her room and he'd see she had been crying._

_"Don't touch me," she ordered. _

_Lucas' mouth almost fell open. "What?!?" _

_"I just don't like to be touched, alright?" _

_"No. That's not alright. What the hell is wrong with you?" _

"Lucas… I'm standing here and I still can't believe I deserve you. As a little girl, I always had the feeling that I was different from the rest. No one got me, they didn't understand who I was or what I was about, and so I dreamed. I dreamed about a man who _would_… I dreamed of falling in love and sharing my thoughts but I had never imagined to meet someone who I'd share my soul with, and who would hear me without words, until you came along. What's so special about you…is not so much your intelligence, or the surprises, or the fact that you never give up. It's that you never stop giving, so I promise to never stop giving back to you. You've been my friend, my family, my lover, and now you'll be my husband too. I love you."

Their gaze now was more intense than it had ever been and both began to imagine about the kiss they were going to share later on and further on their honeymoon the nights they were going to spent.

Sniffling as silently as possible, Brooke let go of her bouquet and wiped away a tear. Looking at the seated guests, she saw her husband staring at her lovingly with their one-year old son Adam on his lap and smiled. Everything had turned out so good and everyone she loved was happy, and that was all she had ever wanted. Except for her friends and family, she also loved weddings and the whole atmosphere around it. So much, even, that she had been Peyton's personal wedding planner, arranging the major stuff but also she had pointed out every detail that had to be taken care off.

"Is it just me or does it look like they're gonna take each other in front of the priest?" Nathan in the meanwhile whispered in Rachel's ear. At the age of twenty-six he still hadn't gained a lot of subtlety but that was alright. He knew he could be himself around Rachel.

The redhead smiled yet slapped his arm and rubbed her stomach. "Shush, he'll hear you."

"He's seven months old…I doubt he will," he replied and put his hand over hers, on her very much expanded tummy. They had waited for years to have a child seeing as a lot of hesitation had plagued them like the financial aspect and a possible lack of time for each other but when Rachel's period hadn't come a good half a year ago and a test had confirmed she was pregnant, they had immediately been overwhelmed with joy. All doubts had been wiped away. The only negative side was that she couldn't be a bridesmaid. It wasn't a big deal to Peyton but to Rachel AND Brooke, a seven month pregnant woman as a bridesmaid was a no-no.

The couple tore their eyes away from Rachel's tummy and gazed in front of them again, where Lucas and Peyton were staring at each other with googley eyes. The location for the ceremony was a stunning garden with wild flowers everywhere and the sunlight covering the trees. It fitted them perfectly.

_"Oh God…" Peyton sighed irritated. "Can you please save this for tomorrow? I'm tired." _

_"I'm sorry but no, I can't save 'this' for tomorrow. I want to know now what makes you act… like a bitch. Huh… What is it?" She bowed her head, refusing to answer. "Or maybe," Lucas continued "there isn't anything at all…Maybe you don't have enough drama in your life so you feel you need to create it yourself!" _

_"Excuse me?" she let out indulged. "I thought you knew me better than that." _

_"When you're acting like a normal human being!" he cried desperately. _

_"What are you saying? That I'm crazy?!?" she yelled back. Lucas bit his tongue, suppressing the urge to scream at her that she's indeed acting like a complete lunatic. "You wanna know what the problem is?!?" she further roared. _

_"YES!"_

_"No, you don't…" she suddenly mumbled and left her pots and pans on the stove. _

_Lucas turned around irate. "Yes, I do!"_

The invites attention grew more intense as the couple slid their rings on each other's finger. "You may now kiss the bride," the priest then finished at last.

Peyton threw her arm around Lucas' neck as he pulled her close. Without wasting any time, he captured her lips. The invites cheered for a while but eventually stopped and just grinned when the newlyweds seemed to be trying to get in the Guinness Book of World records in the category 'surviving the longest without air'. Eventually Peyton pulled away first. Logically, since a woman has smaller lungs and hence a smaller lung content.

_She ignored him and continued her tread to her room. _

_"Oh no you won't." Lucas cut off her way. _

_"Let me through."_

_"No."_

_"Let me through."_

_"Not bef-" _

_"I'm pregnant!" she then snapped at him. "I'm pregnant, OK?" _

_He bowed his head in complete astonishment. "How…How long have you known." _

_She pressed her lips together. "Three weeks," she then answered. _

_Dazed, Lucas hardly felt it when Peyton removed his hand from the door so that she could get in. Her answer was unexpected and not exactly what he had wanted to hear either. How selfish it may sound, he now wished her behaviour derived simply from her bad memories concerning her mother and father. What would they do with a baby? They were twenty-one! They'd graduate next year and how on earth would they find a job when they'd have to look after a little baby? With a thousand thoughts on his mind, Lucas threw his coat back on to go grab some air. He needed it. _

_Hours passed. It turned seven, eight, nine o'clock but no sign of Lucas. Off course she was worried, but mostly she felt alone right now, so she decided to call the first person she had told about her pregnancy and up until a couple of hours ago, the only one. _

_"Rachel Gattina."_

_"Hey, Rach." _

_"Peyton…How are you?" _

_"I…I told Lucas. About the baby." A few seconds of silence followed. "Rach? Are you still there?" _

_"Yeah…Sorry. I was just surprised. But that's great!" _

_"No, it isn't. He's gone, Rachel; I don't know where he is." _

_"What do you mean? He isn't here either…?" _

_"Great," she sighed. _

_"I'm sure he's alright though, he's a big boy" the redhead immediately reassured her. "Do you want me to come over? Give you some company? I get the feeling it might come welcome." _

_"I'd really like that, Rach. Thanks." _

_"Alright…See you in a bit." _

_"Bye."_

_The next day, Peyton tried to reach Lucas, but without success. In the evening, she gave up and decided to make it an early night. There was no point in exhausting herself. Around twelve o'clock, the blond was fast asleep and so didn't hear the front door creaking nor did she know the person entering was Lucas. Softly, he made his way through the apartment. He was still clueless, in panic and confused but if there was one thing he was sure about, it was his love for Peyton. As silent as possible, he opened her bedroom door and saw her sleeping quite peacefully if you consider what she was going through. _

_Quietly he crawled onto her bed and further under the sheets. It was courageous since there was a possibility Peyton was angry and insulted, and everyone knew hell hath no fury like P. Sawyer scorned but…He just needed to feel her right now, be able to touch her. He dared to press his body against hers and almost subconsciously began to stroke her skin before sliding further to his waist, resting his hand there. It was surreal to think a little person was growing there in her tummy. _

_When he felt her body move, he backed away a bit. Peyton slightly yawned and then opened her eyes, looking straight in his. He noticed the disappointment on her face and swallowed thickly. Disappointing her was the last thing he had wanted to do but he had just needed some time to phantom what she had told him. _

_"Where were you?" she asked. "Where did you sleep?" _

_"With a friend," he replied ashamed. "From college." _

_She stared at him for a couple more seconds before looking down and bursting into tears. "I can't do this…. We're both in college and even if that weren't the case, look at us! Look at what kind of parents this child would have!" _

_"P-"_

_"Seriously. I'm an ex-junkie who has the tendency to become a freaking fridge whenever there's a bump in the road and you…You've slept with half New York and…Disappeared off the face of the earth when I told you I was pregnant! We'd make Britney and Kevin proud! I… I can't have this baby. I just can't." _

_"What do you mean?" _

_"I mean…Maybe I should have an abortion." _

_"Peyt…" he began with desperate voice. _

_Peyton's revelation had shocked him, sure, but abortion had never even crossed his mind. His worries had been about the financial aspect and their future career. However, under all the doubts did lay the desire to have this child with her. He had known she would be the woman he'd start a family with from the minute he saw her and yes, this child was unplanned but what he was concerned, definitely not unwanted. _

_ "I know we're flawed and not always the most stable of couples, but I do love you. And I'll never leave you, you know that. You can't have an abortion, y-" _

_"You're a dreamer, you don't know what this means…" _

_"I do…It'll be though but Peyt, please… You're the love of my life. I want to have this baby with you." _

_She sighed as another tear ran down her cheek. Her heart was saying the same Lucas' was, but didn't rationality count for anything? "I want to have this baby with you too," she heard herself saying and what she had known for a long time was yet again confirmed: her heart around Lucas usually beat her rationality. _

_Lucas let out a deep breath and cupped her cheek. "You know we'll do well. I'll make sure of that." _

_Peyton nodded still very much troubled but realized she was lucky to have him. "I'm sorry I compared you to Kevin Federline," she said, to lighten to mood more than anything. He laughed briefly and she smiled up at him. If parenthood wouldn't work with him, it wouldn't with anybody. She placed her hand in his neck and pulled him into a searing kiss. They made love that night, slowly and passionate. Because they loved each but for a little part also because they'd want to forget about their worries for a while. _

" Champagne?" Nathan asked and held the bottle above Peyton's glass. At this moment, the newlyweds plus guests all were at a beautifully decorated, outdoor restaurant.

"No, thanks, I'm fine with my coke for now."

Although she was supposed to be overwhelmed with joy, Peyton looked a bit nostalgic. Lucas knew that was for her parents. She, understandably, had wanted them to be here. However, she had accepted it in the weeks leading up to the wedding that her life would never be complete but… She could try to make the best out of it, like she was doing now, and make her parents proud. She soon felt Lucas arm slipping around her waist. He smiled at her understanding and loving. Even though they were together for years now, she still felt incredibly happy to be with him. She let her fingers flutter over his cheek before she cupped it and kissed him tenderly.

"Mommy! Daddy!" a high girl's voice suddenly cried and stretched her arms at them. Lucas and Peyton broke apart and seconds later, their daughter sat on Lucas' lap.

"Hi, beautiful," Lucas smiled and began to drop little kisses on her face. Belle to him was Peyton, before the bad happened to her. He was determined to never let her go through what Peyton had been through and treated her like a little princess, which she off course very much enjoyed.

"Daddy…Enough kisses!" Belle finally decided and 'stopped' him by taking his head between her little hands. The little blond further turned her head from her father's and gazed into her mother's eyes, which were the same as hers. Overall, Belle had inherited Peyton's physical features, except for her tiny turned-up nose. "Was I a good flower girl, mommy?" Belle then asked Peyton.

"The best, baby," Peyton replied.

"Why can't I come with you and daddy to Silicy?"

" Sicily."

"That's what I said!"

"You saw your mommy and daddy kissing there in front of the priest?" Rachel's voice sounded. "That's what they are going to do in Sicily, all day."

From the moment the redhead had found out about her pregnancy, she had wanted Peyton to be the Godmother, although the blond had chosen Brooke for that role with Belle. It had been an agonizing decision to make for Peyton but the fact that Brooke was her only real family she still had, had tipped over the scale to the brunette's side. Rachel hadn't blamed her because she knew their friendship meant the world to Peyton, she had emphasized that enough.

"I don't mind, mommy. Can I come? Pretty please? I'll be nice."

"Heh… I don't think that's a very good idea, baby."

"Why not?" she asked and became increasingly angered. Why didn't her mommy and daddy want to take her? She was a good girl; she cleaned up all her toys and was always polite.

"Your mommy and daddy just need some time alone, cupcake," Nathan jumped in to their saving.

"To do what?" she asked. Once she got her teeth into something she didn't let go just like that.

Lucas and Peyton bowed their head as Brooke, Nathan, Rachel and Haley shared uncomfortable stares.

"Are they going to exercise again?" Belle suddenly broke the silence with an eye-roll.

Everyone close enough to Lucas and Peyton to hear their conversation shook their head in disbelief. Rachel soon laughed. "Exercise? How so?"

"Yeah, how is that?" Brooke asked. Compared to Owen, sitting beside her, she was quite extravert. However, she did understand Peyton and Lucas not wanting to talk about sex in the company of their child. It was too funny to see them struggle like this.

"Brooke…" Haley warned. It had taken a couple of years but not long after Belle was born and a lot of hospital visits, a Christening and eventually birthday parties followed, Nathan and Haley had decided to leave the past behind them. He was happy with Rachel and she with the music career she had built up. Haley James was now a well-know name in the showbiz and she was over the moon about all the recognition she got for her talent.

"Brooke, how would you feel if I talked with Adam about…?"

"That isn't relevant," she replied. "He still thinks a pillow is eatable." The toddler let little noises escape his mouth and hit the table. Brooke turned him so she could look at his face and kissed his shiny brown locks. "You're so cute!"

"They-" Belle began, ready to spill everything she had seen a couple of months ago, but was cut off by her father.

"Belle, no," Lucas ordered as his daughter opened her mouth.

Lucas' refusal was followed at once by complaints from Brooke, Nathan and Rachel and this was enough for Belle to disobey. She was much like her father in that aspect and was a people-pleaser. "They take their clothes off and wrestle!"

"Oh my God," Haley sighed out as Lucas and Peyton's head turned red as a beet. Rachel, Brooke and Nathan just laughed.

_It was a Sunday morning and Belle had been up for hours. As the credits of 'Peter Pan' rolled over the screen, she decided her parents had had enough sleep and marched to their room. Without knocking, she swung the door open and stared puzzled at what was going on before her eyes. She saw her daddy's eyes widening and throwing her mommy out of the bed. Her mommy was ready to yell at him until she saw her standing in the door opening. _

_They both dressed as quickly as they could to have a word with her in the kitchen about knocking and privacy. She listened, and when it looked like her parents had finished their plea, she asked: _

_"What were you doing? Why didn't you have any clothes on?" _

_The two grown blonds shared an uncomfortable yet understanding look. "Wrestling," Lucas then answered and ignored the kink in Peyton's eyebrow. "And sometimes adults do that without their clothes on." _

"But mommy, you do that all the time!" Every once in a while, Belle still goes to their room and when the door is locked, she knows what's happening inside, rolls her eyes and goes to see some more cartoons. She had never known wrestling was so much fun and had to happen so often.

"Belle, I think we need a little talk," Peyton spoiled her friends' fun and picked up her daughter. The little blond looked over her mothers shoulder and shrugged at her godmother and two aunts. The talk that followed now with her daughter would involve the truth, Peyton had decided. Belle was bright enough to understand. She explained clearly what they were doing was sex, that it was something grown-ups do when they love each other and that it's not okay to talk about that with a whole dining table.

When they came back, Peyton saw her now husband with a flushed face and her friends teasing him still. As Brooke began to tell the story about the time she and Rachel caught them in the act, Lucas boiled over. "You're all just jealous because you I'm getting some and you aren't," he cried frustrated.

Everyone went silent as they say Belle standing looking at all of them with her big innocent hazel eyes. "Hey, princess," Nathan waved at his niece with a goofy grin. "Come here." Belle let go of her mother's hand and ran over to her uncle as Peyton shot Lucas a semi-angry look.

x

It was deep in the night and some of the guests had already gone home. Since Karen had been pretty tired too so she had insisted to take Belle with her. She had mentioned a couple times in the past how she sees her New Yorkian granddaughter too little so now that she could, she took every chance she got to be with her. Also Brooke's mother, Barbara, had taken her grandchild with her a couple of hours ago.

Instead of sitting on her chair, Peyton had seated herself on Lucas' lap. The earlier sex-talk and commotion had been long forgotten as they were openly making out. "How long before our plane leaves?" Lucas asked between kisses. Luckily for them, no one was currently at their table since they were still on the dance floor or like in Rachel and Nathan's case, sitting on the bench by the oak, rubbing her tummy and whispering to each other.

"Fourteen hours," she replied and shifted a bit so that her legs were very much exposed. She had traded her wedding dress for a little red dress a couple of hours ago since she had known her gown would've been a hazard to dance in.

Their kisses grew hungrier and more passionate. "I want to get out of here," he finally groaned as Peyton buried her lips in his neck. She knew every sensitive spot and smiled as he threw his head back and began to mumble more complaints over the fact they still had to stay for a couple of hours.

"God, get a room," Brooke laughed as she and her husband plumped themselves down opposite the newlyweds. However, she had no right of speaking since her dancing with Owen would've been labelled sixteen-plus. "Seeing you guys dry-hump is less than enjoyable."

Peyton looked up. Sighing, she descended off Lucas lap and went to sit on her own chair. They were indeed acting like two teenagers but they just wanted to do it so bad. They were just married and more in love then ever. Lucas shuffled a bit closer and instead wrapped his arm around her waist, so that he could still touch her.

Brooke lifted the champagne bottle and gazed at it pleased when she saw there was still enough left for the three of them. Owen could drink water. "Some more champagne?" she asked and was ready to fill Peyton's glass when that one said 'no' as fast as possible. The brunette kinked her eyebrow and lifted her cousin's glass. "It's…clean…"

"Well, sorry I'm not such a wino as you are," Peyton snapped.

"Huh…No need to get so defensive, P." Brooke gazed at the blond for a couple of seconds in thought. "You haven't been drinking all night and yesterday you were the sweetest thing alive in the morning...And a shrew in the afternoon."

"I'm not a shrew!"

"No… You're pregnant!" she accused.

Peyton opened her mouth but no sound left it and instead, she bowed her head.

Lucas looked at her touched. "Peyt…Are you?"

"I didn't want you to find out this way…" she almost whispered as she locked eyes with him. "I found out yesterday but didn't want to tell 'cause…We had so many stuff going on already with the wedding. I thought to tell you on our honeymoon."

"You're pregnant!" Brooke cried out with an unbounded happiness for them. She jumped up from her chair and went over to hug them both.

Owen quickly stood up and got her back to her seat. "No, sweetheart," he protested. "We'll leave and let them be for a minute." As she let herself being led away by her husband, Brooke looked over her shoulder sadly at the bottle of champagne standing on the table.

"So you're not running away…That's a good sign," Peyton joked. When Lucas remained silent for a couple of seconds, looking down; she cupped his cheek and raised his head so he'd look in her eyes. "Are you happy, Luke?"

"Yes…" he answered sincerely touched. Already now he knew this pregnancy would be calmer, more serene. They were older, had a steady job as a journalist and a painter and a beautiful house. They were one-hundred percent ready for a second child. He smiled at her and moved closer to capture her lips softly. "Yes, I am."

x

Panting heavily, Lucas and Peyton lay next to each other in a stunning hotel room in Sicily. They had been here for a couple of days now and had hardly sat a foot outside their room. Instead, they had kept themselves occupied with sex, sex, and sex.

"I'm going to shower," Lucas suddenly announced and rose from the bed.

Peyton nodded. "I'll order room-service. After she had put on her clothes, as far as you can call hot pants and a tube top clothes, and had ordered some food, she just went to sit on the edge of her mattress where she couldn't help but stare at her ring. In this day and age, a lot of people say marriage doesn't matter if you love each other and if you're certain about each other, but Peyton somehow felt it had strengthened their relationship. Somehow, it made their bond even more special than it already was.

_"Lucas…I feel so bad we left her alone with the babysitter," Peyton sighed as they hang over the rim of the boat. Lucas had his arms wrapped around her as they sailed along the Niagara Falls. It was their first trip in three years and had taking quite a bit of saving. Belle had also come along and they had made plenty of walks with her the past days but this time Lucas had insisted they'd spend a day with just the two of time. _

_"She'll be alright," he replied and buried his face a little deeper in her curls. _

_"I know…"_

_They fell in a comfortable silence, just looking at the beauty of the falling water until the boat stopped by a wooden dam. They could now go explore town, go visit some shops…Do whatever they wanted basically. About two hours later, Lucas was packed like a donkey. Peyton had bought a bunch of records for herself, clothes for Belle, and some souvenirs for her friends back home. _

_"Oh no," Lucas suddenly let out. _

_"What? What is it?" _

_"My ring! It fell and I don't know where it is." _

_"You're talking about that ugly man-ring your mother gave you? Who cares?" _

_"I do, and it's not ugly. Can we stop for a minute and look for it? It must've just fell 'cause I saw it on my hand not long ago." _

_She sighed but nonetheless began to scan the ground concentrated. Lucas in the meanwhile kneeled down and put a whole other ring out of his pocket. It was made out of platinum gold and had a small yet beautiful diamond. "I got it!" he cried. _

_She ran towards him. "Wher-" Her eyes widened. "That's not your ugly man ring…And why are you kneeling down? Lucas I-" _

_"Peyton…" he began. He had expected her to have a bit of a scare. To calm her, he took her hand and stroke it softly. "I don't know what to say except that I love you and that I want us to be together forever. Will you marry me?" _

Hearing a knocking on the door, Peyton jumped up and went to open. In front of her stood a guy she hadn't seen yet. She estimated he was a couple of years younger than her. Twenty-three, maybe twenty-four. "Ciao," she greeted him with the only Italian she knew.

The guy ran his eyes over her and smiled. "Cappucino?" he asked and showed her the one she had ordered. She nodded and he took the strawberry syrup next to the pancakes she had ordered and drew a little heart on the milk foam.

She chuckled amused. "Molto buon."

Next thing the guy began a whole rant in Italian of which she only understood that his name was Fredo. When his explanation was finished, Lucas stepped out of the bathroom in his boxers. The guy saw this as his cue to leave but still waved her bye-bye. "A domani!"

"A domani," she replied. She closed the door and walked back to the bed with the little trolley Fredo had brought with a big smile. Yes, she was happy with Lucas but once in a while, it was nice to have some confirmation of the fact that you look good because your husband is supposed to say that anyway.

"Was I interrupting something?" Lucas asked in slight disbelief. He couldn't believe his _wife_ was flirting with the room-service guy. Not that he didn't trust her, he just didn't find it very pleasant.

"Yes…" she replied teasingly. "Look." The blond showed her cappuccino, which was actually Lucas', to him. "He thought it was mine. The heart is made out of strawberry syrup."

"It's a work of art," he replied sarcastically.

She smiled and pulled him back in bed. "You're so hot when you're jealous," she said. "A total turn-on." He raised his eyebrow at her. "Oh, come on…" Peyton sighed. "I'll make it up to you. Uhmm…You want me to feed you pancakes? I'll draw a strawberry heart on them!"

"Alright," he gave in. "Draw me a heart."

In utter concentration, she took the spoon and shaped a heart on his pancake. Unfortunately she couldn't keep her hands off the syrup after she was finished.

"That's mine!" Lucas complained.

"I'm pregnant and hungry! By the way, I got you chocolate chip cookies and you'll eat them all 'cause they were ten euros for a plate."

He checked the scales and quickly found his favourite food. "Déjà-vu," he smiled.

"What?"

He went back to sit opposite her, the only thing separating them were the pancakes with strawberry syrup. Very carefully, he cupped her cheek and kissed her soft lips which opened under his. She kept her eyes closed for another moment, savouring the moment. "What was that for?"

"I was just feeling sentimental about the first time we spoke."

She looked around her and smiled. "I love it when you're sentimental."

"All that's missing is you giving me a Catcher in the Rye quote," Lucas noticed.

"I can't," she sighed. "I've got everything want. I've got nothing to be bitter about anymore and the book is the _definition_ of bitterness."

"Except?"

"Except what oh-Professor Scott?" Yet she reflected a couple of seconds with bowed head and then she suddenly remembered. It was one of her favorite parts. She looked up at him and began quoting:

"We'd get into a movie or something, and right away we'd start holding hands, and we won't quit 'till the movie was over. And without changing the position or making a deal out of it. You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were _happy_. You really were."

* * *

It feels so weird to have finished this fic but I hope you liked the ending and the way I incorporated the flashbacks and everything. It was a bit tricky; I had to drag a lot of parts back and forward lol. Anyway, tell me what you think!


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